How would you deal with someone close to u...really close...who keeps on saying he is unwell everytime u talk to him... I know someone really close, who is highly laid back, lazy at 25... and keeps on cribbing abt eeryone he knows right from teachers,friends, family... he thinks he is always correct and gets irritated with smallest of things.
I have tried doing things for him, like buying gifts once in a while, writing letters, almost everything.
I cant leave him nor stay with this trait of his, which seems to be an inseperable part of him since childhood.
And i m someone who is always smiling and energeti.
how do i deal with the situation, he seems lifeless with no zeal to live, Pls help
2007-09-14 18:33:27 · 4 answers · asked by niks 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
he hasno time to get up, to sleep, doesnt know how to manage time at all, doesnt take care of his health, absolute mismanagement. have tried explaining the imp of time to him, of being healthy. he just wastes time, misses college and is a sadist!
2007-09-14 18:37:20 · update #1
I know a girl who is very similar. First of all you can give up on telling the person how they should fix their lives. In my experience any advice or anything you tell them is a waste of breath, and doesnt change them. They also lack the insight to see that they are in such a woeful state.... so trying to give such a person a help with their insight generally fall very flat. for such a person to change, it generally takes a crisis in their lives, such as a health emergency to "wake them up"...but this also has limited benefit at times. They are attracted to you because you a smiling and energetic... and they are feeding off your "energy"... so you probably feel drained after spending long time with them. Set up boundaries so the person doesnt "use" you..... and come to accept the fact that you cant change the person and that ultimately they are in charge of their own lives. If the relationship with them gets too stressful..... back away from them.
2007-09-14 19:01:54 · answer #1 · answered by Jamie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're missing two quads, and you've got them confused (easy to do). What you refer to as Negative Reinforcement is actually considered Positive Punishment. An example of Negative Reinforcement would be holding the dogs leash straight up until he sits, then you let the leash loose. The dog is reinforced for sitting by having the negative stimulus removed. Some people with apply an e-stim until the dog sits releasing it when the dog complies, the dog is rewarded for sitting by having the negative removed. Negative reinforcement is used to INCREASE a behavior. Positive Punishment,(P+) such as a leash pop for incorrect behavior is meant to decrease a behavior. Negative Punishment (P-) is also meant to decrease behavior, however instead of adding a negative stimuli, you take something rewarding away. Wheaten Mom gave a good example of this. I don't know many R+ trainers that don't make use of P-. Let's not forget about extinction. A good example of extinction would be a begging dog. If you never give in, the dog gives up the begging, what's the point since he's not getting anything out of it anyway. Personally I tend to use R+ and P-.
2016-05-19 23:54:06 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How would I deal with it?
I'd get on a bus or train and take off for about three months. Get away from the surroundings you wake up to each morning, and just pack your bags and hit the road. Show him that your know "how the hog eats the cabbage", and it's not the way that he's been assuming. You've got your rights, so exercise them. Then after 3 or 4 months, swing back through town like nothing has transpired or happened. And if he says anything to you about anything....Just say to him...
"Excuse me"...Are you talking to me?
2007-09-14 20:52:38 · answer #3 · answered by DENDEN 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is time to re-evaluate this friendship! He will eventually alter your mood and give you negative feelings-as is happening already.
I would honestly and sincerely tell him he has some deep seated issues. He needs to see a psychiatrist cause it sounds like clinical depression to me. He needs help that you cannot provide. Has he spoken of suicide or ending his life? If he has you can call 911 for intervention. They can take him to the hospital where he would be evaluated and put on watch to prevent him from harming himself.
You can distance yourself from constant contact and see him less often, but keep in touch in case he decides he does want help. Find some friends that are positive and have a zest for life to help keep you balanced!
2007-09-14 19:03:52 · answer #4 · answered by dizzkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋