Wife Problems?

Question

I dont understand my wife, she wants to have sex on average about 3 times a week. And I only care to have it maybe once or twice a month. I work alot of overtime and I am very tired when I come home. She tells me all the time that she needs to feel loved. but she comes to me so much that this turns me off. She get angry and starts crying, says that I dont love her. I tell her that when I want this we will have sex. I just dont understand her and she is making thing worse with me. I am 45 and she is 40. I dont know what to do.

Answer 1

Dude. Haven't you figured it out yet? "She tells me that she needs to feel loved." Well, if the ONLY time your wife feels loved is when she's having sex, then you're not doing something right! It's not so much about the sex as it is about her feeling loved and desirable. If she wants sex more often, just explain that you're soooo tired, but would love to be intimate with her. LOL, ask her to have her way with your body. :p I'm sure she'd get a kick out of the domination thing! Tell her you're just too tired to resist whatever she might want to do to you, lol. Is it really gonna kill ya to enjoy your wife's favors more than once or twice a month? Heck, compromise and try once a week at least! Again, if it's more about feeling loved than having sex, you should do things for her that tell her you still love her. Small things can help a lot! For example, sitting close to her, maybe watching a little T.V. or a movie after work, and just rubbing her hands or arms or maybe rubbing her neck. Tell her at least a couple of times a week how nice she looks. I don't know if I'd all of the sudden start giving her flowers, jewelry, etc. if it's not something you normally do either! It might make her think you're trying to buy her off with bling! :p As for your wife, I think SHE should be willing to compromise also. I think the two of you need to sit down and talk about the issue. You two are married. If the shoe were on the other foot and YOU wanted it three times a week but only got it when she said you could have it, wouldn't you be upset?? Try to see things from her viewpoint too. I hope you two can work things out! Good luck!

Answer 2

ok, 25 and still single, buy maybe you can still consider my opinion on the matter...

you know that you aren't like most men. In many situations, its the complete opposite: the husband wants more sex and the wife is saying no a lot. As I read your question, i'm wondering why you only sexually desire your wife twice a month?!? We're strangers here, but only you know if the real reason is if you are tired or not. that just doesn't sound right.

I'm not going to question you love for your wife, but if my husband only desired me twice a month, I would also consider his feelings for me. that's just the way that it is. 40 and 45 are young. A woman wants to feel physically wanted. She probably feels that you don't think she's pretty or desireable and that can make a person feel unwanted. She has some valid points.

My other question was did you use to have sex more often? If so, why the decline. Sex (and lots of it, or a MUTUAL agreement of the lack thereof) is very important in a marriage. You as her husband should also consider her needs instead of just saying that she needs to stop. Does she work? I know finances may be an option, but I would rather save some money in another area and have my husband at home with me, without the fatigue.

I hope you two can talk about it and communicate better.

Best

Answer 3

Omg , say it isnt so, what a horrible wife she is for wanting to "MAKE" you have sex with her.. she should be stoned for wanting to make love to her husband.. ..lol


Would u rather her go and find someone else to have sex with? Cause that could be the case if you dont start trying to put some effort into "HER" needs and stop being selfish about your own.., marriage is about "TWO" people not just you.. she has emotional needs , and with most women , sex is emotional more so then physical.. would it kill u to try and have sex with her on your days off?? no.. and even in the bible it states that you shouldnt deny ur spouse sex..

She is 40 years old.. im guessing that she's feeling alittle neglected by you, that she has insecurity issues perhaps with her looks, or her age.. and needs u to "WANT" her like you once did .. she's not only your wife, but shes a "woman" and she wants to be made to feel as such, and im telling u, if u keep on this track that ur own about putting her needs 2nd to yours.. one day another guy is going to see how wonderful of a person ur wife is.. and if the timing is right, he will show her the attention that she craves from you that u wont give her, and she will drift away from you..

Women can only handle so much rejection , before they start feeling volnerable, and when that happens, u better hope that another man doesnt pounce during that time, because one day u may not have a wife to come home to at all, and if u love her, u should be doing all u can to keep her happy.. because she needs u , and she's reaching out to u, but your not caring, and eventually someone else will care about her feelings and needs, and u will be alone, because when she needed u , u werent there..

Answer 4

My first reaction is to "MAN UP" meaning you had better take care of your wife before someone else does! Oral sex would help. Just tell her you will take care of her and then lick until she can't take it anymore. She lays on her back and you on your stomach so it doesn't take that much energy for you. It may get a little tiresome on the neck but that will go away in a few minutes after you have finished. Buy her a toy and you use it on her. Vibrator/dildo will cause her an orgasm and you will help her. That way she feels you are involved but you just don't have to put out that much energy. When you get home, take a shower and a nap for an hour or two then get up and do things with her, then you can go back to sleep for the rest of the night. Wake up, get a shower, do her go back to the shower to rinse off and then go to work. Basically, 3 - 4 times a week should not be that hard for any man without physical disabilities. You just have to pick your spots and conserve your energy. You don't have to swing from the light fixtures every time you have sex.

But for me, oral is the easiest way to please her with out having to expend too much energy along with being the surest way to cause her an orgasm.

Answer 5

We're talking about sex here! 1 or 2x a month is not much even if you are tired. 1) I would go to your doctor and discuss it it him/her. You may have a underlying problem your not aware of. 2) Talk to her about how you feel and how her constant need effects you. Is there anything she can do to get you more in the mood? Tired people still have sex it just may take a little more effort to get in the mood. 3) Go to the adult shop and pick her up a toy or better yet take her with you! Get something for yourself. Maybe its time for something a little different - spice things up. Sex should be fun! You don't want it to be a chore. Good luck!

Answer 6

Unfortunately for you, this is just another one of your jobs. You are suppose to be there in every way for your wife. You are there to fullfill all her needs. You should be a bit more understanding and make a few more sacrifices for your marriage. Yeah, you might be tired, but your wife needs you. Give in ever now and then. She also has to understand how you feel and be there for you, by not putting so much pressure on you to have sex. She needs to be more understanding to you and realize when you are really tired and let you rest. Make sacrifices for your marriage and be there for each other and be more understanding. You are each others better half. When you are tired she should massage you, run you a bathand make you feel comfortable and relaxed. You then should woo her and give her the sex she desires and needs. Remember where there is one that wont, there is one that will!

Answer 7

Ok first of all telling her that when YOU want this we'll have sex isnt going to get you ANYWHERE!
I'm in a VERY similar situation (it's why I'm here tonight)
Women need the physical touch, and we need the affermation that you still love us, still want us, still desire us. And from a woman who's husband works alot too, it's very hard sometimes to fight the the things that go through your mind, so the reassurance is always welcome. And, I thought I was the only one wanting things more... trust me, a wife gets tired of hearing how tired y'all are, SO ARE WE! I stay home with our daughter and work part-time, keeping things running around the house isnt always a cake walk, nor is it for those who have to go out and work. So with all due respect, try to put a little more effort in your marriage, if not for you, then for the woman you vowed to spend the rest of your life with.
Do little things for her, send her a card in the mail, slip a card somewhere around the house that says you know your not together alot but that you love her and she means the world to you...
If you dont pay her attention someone else will...

Answer 8

For a woman, YES sex is important, but..for the most part, with the long hours you have to work, she probably just feel's neglected in some way & "making love" is her way of feeling connected to you. I'm sure IF you could find some extra time to show her a little extra attention, it would go a long way. Next time your going out the door to go to work, kiss her bye and say I'll be home soon beautiful... It'll make her day.

-Marine Wife

Answer 9

I don't think I've ever heard a man complain about his wife wanting sex too much. Usually it's the other way around. I can understand completely about being too tired and all but the only friend I EVER had who had a problem with her husband not wanting sex ended up being married to a homosexual. Not saying you are. It's just not normal.

Answer 10

Either you both meet each other’s needs or the relationship faces several problems. You could let her have sex with someone else. You might want to try stepping up to the plate yourself. Overtime is no excuse to not be intimate with her. You are her only partner and you already decided without her that when you want it is enough for you both.
If you love your wife and want her happy make an effort yourself.
One day she'll stop asking and when it comes, worry.
Unless you want to be single you might want to realize how good you have it.