We share custody of our only child & it gets crazy hectic sometimes trying to commute back & forth. We are less than amicable but both of us have moved on with other spouses & now have other children as well. There is a great house right down the road from him that I am considering buying but I wonder if there's anyone who's done that who can give me some input? It's in a subdivision which means we might run into them at the pool or walking sometimes. I'm not a stalker. I don't want to try to befriend them or rekindle anything. I'm just trying to make things easier on all of us.
Your thoughts please....
2007-09-14 18:24:57 · 11 answers · asked by I Give Up 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I'm definitely NOT comfortable sitting down with my ex & asking how he feels about it. He would equate that with asking his permission & would really use it as a power trip. One of the reasons we divorced was control issues. I can't bring myself to ask him about it.
2007-09-14 18:39:25 · update #1
I see no problem. Might bring you all closer together as an extended family. There is nothing wrong with making your kids happy. They matter the most since you both brought them into the world. Be good parents and set an example of forgiveness and love.
2007-09-14 18:41:43 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Ive never been in that situation, but i do have children , and i am divorced myself so i can relate to your reasoning.. and my oppinion would be if you can both respect each others privacy.., and if both houses could handle the fact that living so close together ur child will bounce from house to house and not just on visitation schedules.. then id say it would probably be the best thing for your child.. but if all it is going to do is end up causing a fued between you and your x, and your child stuck in the middle then this could be the worse thing for them, so u need to really evaluate the situation, and think of all "possible " case scenerios, and realistically ask yourself if this is something both households could handle ..and not just you but the other spouses.. because although u and him have the child together this could cause alot of tension for either ur spouse or his.. so u need to look at this situation from all angles, and possibly even sit down with ur x and his wife and find out how they would feel about this.. just to get a sense of how this may or may not work..
2007-09-14 18:36:09 · answer #2 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you can't talk to him about it, I would say don't do it. It is too close for comfort. Meaning, he may think you are coming into his territory and it may make things uncomfortable or even hostile on his end. I would think if you found a house closer, but not in the exact same subdivision, that would be more convenient and a better situation. It is a buyers market, so look around before you decide. It would make it easier to be closer, but maybe not that close. Know what I mean? Best of luck!!
2007-09-15 04:52:39 · answer #3 · answered by 2008girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think your relationship with your ex husband has matured enough for you to buy a house on the same street as him. You say yourself it gets crazy hectic sometimes so why push it to a level you can not handle. Buy a house in the same city at a walking distance but not necessarily in a place where you need to drive in front of each others house every day.
I live 1 mile away from my ex, yes we cross each other at the grocery store and the drug store but him and I are in excellent terms and we are actually happy to be able to do a little bit of social talk when we cross each other.
2007-09-14 19:22:08 · answer #4 · answered by Jane Marple 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, I think it is a great idea. If you're not planning on hanging out there and being a stalker then it just makes sense. The kids can see their half-siblings, logistics are much easier. If you like the area and can pretty much live your own lives there (occasionally running into each other wouldn't be a problem) then I say go for it!
2007-09-14 18:42:03 · answer #5 · answered by Janey 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My kids used to tell me when there was a house for sale in their dad's neighborhood. They liked the idea of us living close enough to not be a problem in alternating households. As it is, we only live 7 minutes away from each other. It does make things a lot easier.
Think about how much you see of your neighbors now. I think that could be an indication of how much you will notice each other's comings and goings.
I would suggest talking to him about it though. Would you be as interested in the house were it not in that neighborhood? You'd hate to buy the house, make the move, then find out he and his new wife were uncomfortable enough to sell their house and move away. Back to square one.
2007-09-15 02:02:05 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would personally talk to your now husband, if he's good with things, ask to speak to the ex and his present wife, explain the situation, and see if they are ok with the idea. If not, dont be offended, just look a street over or something lol
Best Wishes =)
2007-09-14 18:30:59 · answer #7 · answered by marcie1997 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, I don't see anything terribly wrong with it. My ex and I get along great, now that we're divorced and moved on. It may be just right, for sharing the kids.
2007-09-14 18:34:01 · answer #8 · answered by Ade 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kids. Isn't it about the kids getting to be with both parents? Wouldn't it be easier for them? Go for it long as you adults can keep it separate.
2007-09-14 18:53:59 · answer #9 · answered by atheleticman_fan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think that its a good idea. you will be closer to your child and that will be good. if your spouse doesnt have a problem with it, then i would go for it.
2007-09-14 18:32:24 · answer #10 · answered by bumblebee 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋