Should I stay with my cheating bf because I'm pregnant?

Question

When I first met my bf, he told me him & his wife were broken up. I found out 2 months later that wasn't true-still married (found out when she found out about me) but by then we were living together. We've been together a total of 10 months now and I'm pregnant (due December). I have just now found out he's been cheating on me with his wife since month 4 of our relationship. But I'm unemployed, without health insurance, don't have a good family support system to fall back on so I need him-money, apartment, etc. I did manage to get him pissed off at his wife so he hasn't seen her for the last month (or their 3 kids) so I think he's done cheating and picked me over her. But what do you think I should do? Yes-my life is a soap opera.

Answer 1

Well, hon, it sounds like you've got some issues.

Right now your health and well being would have to be priority over all.

If he's done cheating and he's going to stand by you then I'd sit tight and bake a nice baby for now.

You can get started on a resume, go to Your State Department of Labor, check out the job opportunities in your community, and just be Aware of what your options are.

Sooner or later,he's going to be interacting with the wife and kids again. Sooner or later You All are going to have to come to terms.

The 3 are getting a little brother or sister.

Your man needs to decide to file for divorce. He needs to step up, stop playing with both you women and all four kid's lives and be a Man.

Don't plan on getting Child Support if you leave him, either. You may get $25.00 a month, but the courts aren't going to give you a penny of what she's entitled to right now. Second wives get next to nothing.

All three of you adults need to be on the same page, covering whatever the respective kids need, and quit with the BS.

That's gonna be on him.

So, see if you can sit tight til the little one gets here, have an idea of what you need to do should he bail, put anything you can in place now, and then chill.

None of what you're asking has to do with love or emotion. It has to do with being a responsible person, where love has a chance to survive. So, take the heart out of it, step back and analyze objectively, and go from there.

Answer 2

well u should have known better then 2 stay w/ him when u did find out about her. u should have just left. do u really think that he is never going 2 c her again just cuz he's mad @ her? they have kids 2gether and that will never keep them apart @ all. u, her, and him r bonded 4 life. whatever he is doing 2 her now will come back 2 u later. do u think that he won't leave u and get some other girl pregnant? u should just wait till u have ur baby and get urself on ur feet. u need 2 leave that life behind and start over w/ ur baby. if u have friends that will help u then take that help and do what u need 2 do. my sister is in the same situation. i just wish that u guys would have been smarter and left when u had 2. i'm not telling u all this so u can pick me as best answer. i can really care less. i just feel bad 4 my nephew and ur baby. what kind of future do they have in a situation like this?

Answer 3

First, he wasn't cheating on you. Truthfully, if a man isn't 100% divorced in the legal world; he's still bond to his wife. You were the other women, my dear. So, no...you don't even have the right to say you were being cheated on.

Wake up honey, even if he was supporting you. He saw you as just a play thing. He was just waiting for the oppurtunity to go back with his wife. He was probably using you to make her jealous.

You need to get a job and get an apartment of your own. Have this baby and make sure to get child support or even have this man terminate his rights if he's not interested in the kid.

Start your own life with your baby. Date unmarried men. Find a nice man, who will love you and you only and will respect and care for your child.

Answer 4

If your boyfriend cheated on his wife with you, then he will do the same thing to you, which already happened. If I was preggars and had no family support and can't financially take care of myself and my boyfriend was cheating on me, I would put the baby up for an open adoption, that way I know the baby is in a good home and be in a healthy environment. Then I would leave the toxic relationship and get help from social services, so they help me get a job and a place to live. Open adoption means that you place your baby in a good home and you are free to visit your child anytime. I'm not telling you to put the baby up for adoption but this is what I would do if I found myself in this predicament.

Answer 5

First of all, he is STILL married. If he wanted to be with you, he would have divorced his wife long ago. You are technically the "other woman" and his "safety net". I must add that I think what you were wrong to drive him away from seeing his kids.

You are just using him as a security financial blanket because you won't do for yourself or your child. Stop being lazy and realize that only YOU can help yourself and no one else. There are organizations out there that can help get you on your feet if you want it (social services). Also, it is your "boyfriend's" child too so he is obligated financially to help support this child.

Answer 6

Leave him. If he hasn't gotten a divorce yet he probably isn't ever going to. U want your child to have the best Right?? Why would u want to depend on a man to do everything for u? Get a job and make your own way because u will have to anyway when he decides to go back to his wife and 3 kids. If he cheated on his wife with u then he's going to cheat on you with someone else. Good luck with him and your pregnancy.

Answer 7

He might be mad at the ex but a cheater is a cheater and there are other girls out there. Apply for emergency assistance and get rid of him. If you stay now because you need him for support you will be trapped as he will do what he wants because you have nowhere to go. He has not seen his kids? Does not sound like a very good father. Have your doctor check you for diseases. Think of your baby. Do you really want a man that picked a woman over his children. There is help out there for you, go looking for it. Start with your local phone book. Good luck to you.

Answer 8

So why in the world would you want to bring a baby into this crazy mess of a life? Get rid of the boyfriend. Keep the baby. Raise him/her on your own or until you can meet someone who knows what it means to be a real man & a real father. This jerk you've hooked up with doesn't have a clue. He is playing you AND his wife. This isn't a game. It's real life. Stop playing by his rules. Stop being the "other woman." Be your own woman & be a mother to this child you are about to bring into the world. Let go of this user & move on. God bless!

Answer 9

Look at how hes treated his wife and kids - its a good prediction of what your future holds. Doesn't your baby deserve better? Walk away now. Try to reconnect with family or friends that can help you move forward. Speak to your doctor about support services in your area and after the baby is born - head right to court and file for support.

Answer 10

He's not going to leave his wife. If he does for some reason, he will cheat with another woman. You need to look into resource centers for pregnant women. There a lot of state and federal programs that will help out pregnant women that don't have any money or at a dead end. Do not leave yourself (or your baby) in this situation.