were taught to respect our elders ..then why do so many ?

Question

just stick them in a home,to die with strangers ??

Answer 1

Now a days the homes are so nice, they get higher quality care, when they want it, and can meet others their age to befriend, and they get their privacy.
I don't see whats wrong with a nice senior facility
but it should ALWAYS be their choice.
I don't think I would want to intrude on my children's lives, I am not raising them so they can raise me, I don't expect pay back.If I did live with them though, that would be their choice, I would be a free babysitter, so it would work better for them, and I would get to see my grandchildren any time I wanted.
I think a mother in law suite would be ideal. Close, yet far away.
It depends on the level of care they need also. If they can't take care of themselves, and their health is going downhill, what would be the point in sending them away? they need you more than they need privacy, other friends, a life of their own.
It really depends on the situation. There are so many factors to look at, it's not an easy decision at all.
There could also be room for compromise somewhere in this decision.

Answer 2

Some family members prefer to put them into a home because they are too busy living their own life [and don't seem to remember the first 15 or so years of their life when someone looked after them!].

Some family members perhaps believe they could not handle the 2 or more kids as well as a sick or mentally impaired elder ... some can't as their elder may actually need nursing care.
It may well be that it would be all too much for them to look after their elder because they might not be able to get all the help they might need from family/friends/community members who could sit/shop/pick up the kids/etc.

Some family members think that it is 'the best place' for them to live out the rest of their lives, as they think this is what they really want for themselves when they get old [weird, but true], so therefore it would be good for everybody.

Some family members are hoping this form of treatment will end their elders lives prematurely so they can get the inheritance quicker [sick or what].

I looked after my mother until the day she died, and she had looked after her mother until the day she died.
In some cultures it is family tradition to look after elders, other families have little or no tradition in this respect, so their alternative is a 'resthome'.

Answer 3

Because the don't LOVE them.

Sometimes but rarely, a person is in a home because it is necessary.
Sometimes it is too much for someone to care for them, so they need the help of the staff. Sometimes it is a temporary thing, like for rehab.

But by and far the most I have even seen in a home are stuck there and forgotten.

It is sad. Because the ones that forget them, forget too, that they are only on earth, because of the poor patient left to die.

Answer 4

Some people simply can't care for a elder... Something happened to my father about 5 months ago. One day he didn't wake up and was in a coma for a week, when he woke up he didn't know who he was, he didn't know me, he didn't know his wife of 18 years, he couldn't walk and still can't. And right now he is in a home because we can't lift him out of bed, he cusses up a storm, and is mean to everyone that walks into the room.. I have 4 kids living in my house ranging from 14 to 5 years of age. Do I love my dad? YES!!! Can I care for him NO!!! The doctors have no clue what happened to him. He just fell asleep one day and woke up a different person a week later... We go there everyday to see him and try to get back what we had!

I would like to add that my dad refuses to wear any clothes, he pee's on the walls... This is something I deal with everyday of my life for the past 5 months. What little bit of money he has is for his wife so she can pay her bills food etc.. so no inheritance for me, wouldn't want anyone to think that I'm trying to do off my dad for his money. That's not our issue. My life stopped the day he didn't wake up, I have spent many nights crying and pacing floors. I am not equipped to care for him and his wife is doing everything she can to bring him home, she works in the medical field but isn't able to lift him out of bed...

Answer 5

I agree. It's really sad. For the ones that do just want to shove their parents into a home and forget about them, let's just hope for the old "What goes around, comes around" routine for them when they get old. (And this is not including extenuating medical circumstances--situations are different.). Regarding the ones that are "mean", alot is probably senility combined with how things are changing around them and other factors. Can't be easy to handle.

Answer 6

Sometimes people don't have a choice. There was a
couple in here who both got Alzheimer's one after the
other. They would escape and we'd find them wandering
around--lost and scared. I had to put up with that with
my mother in law. I had an awful time with her. The
family said, that is enough, and put her in a locked
floor of the nursing home. Why? She kept escaping
and was picked up by a man who turned out to be
kindness itself. Took her to the police and they took
her back. It isn't selfish to put them in a home, it is
for their own safety. I would have kept her with me,
but my kids were small and the family knew I was
burning out.

Answer 7

One of the most awful reasons I can think of is because they don't like them. The other is that its a money issue. The other is that this is a cruel world and people don't stop to smell the roses. We need to slow down a bit in my opinion.

Answer 8

hmmmm....donno...it depends on the people. for instance i plan on leaving my country so i won't be around when my parents are old, but i'm pretty sure that i'll let them stay where they want to and hire someone to help them around the house. in my country, elder people are not put in homes...

but some elders are purely evil. i mean they conspire to make others feel bad

Answer 9

Because these days some familys are too much into money/work/jobs to care about family and don't want the burden.

Sad.

Answer 10

Because they are too involved with themselves to be bothered and have no idea how much wisdom and history these people hold.