This matter was a small matter but is turning into a big matter. I called my husband at 8:00 a.m. - left a message and asked him to call me back if he could within a half an hour because I would be immersed in meetings for the rest of the day. He called me at 3:00 pm - busy with work all day. He told me that he didn't get my message until 10:00. Our cell phone bill came electronically the next day -- I looked it over and discovered that he checked his phone messages at 8:05 -- realizing that he'd gotten my message right after I called!! I pointed it out and he changed the password on our cell phone bill - and got super pissed at me...screaming and telling me that I had trust issues. I trust him. I wasn't even mad that he didn't call me back - - just that he had fibbed about checking his message. Now, he's making statements like, 'I treat you well and am treated like this!' Should I feel bad or wonder if something else is going on?
2007-09-14 17:29:04 · 11 answers · asked by macdaddy0214 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Clearly, he is angry at being caught in a lie. I really don't get his motivation in lying about something so insignificant, but apparently he had a reason. When somebody I trust lies to me, then yes, I would have trust issues with that person. He won't be able to do it, but he should try to see it from your point of view and how would he feel if the roles were reversed? I have an idea he would be pissed and think something more was going on. He would also wonder if you lied about that, what else have you or would you lie about?
2007-09-14 17:53:16 · answer #1 · answered by drewxjacobs 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he has something to hide.. or else, why would he freak out like that when you looked at the cell statement?? The fact that he changed the password, so you can't see what he's been doing.. really looks bad. I don't see any reason for him to do that, unless there's something he doesn't want you to see. While you were reading the bill, did you notice any unfamiliar numbers that he'd been calling? If I were you, I'd do some more checking around, to see what's really going on with him..
I don't trust liars. If they'll lie about the small stuff, they won't think twice about lying when it's about something that actually matters.
2007-09-15 10:08:19 · answer #2 · answered by arkiegirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No , don't feel bad that's what He wants you to feel ! He's acting gulity of something if you ask me !! cause why did he say all that about treating you well and then trying to say that your treating him wrong? Self defensive is one sign of an affair or something going on! and he is being defensive about it! If he wasn't doing anything wrong then why is he acting like that? He is acting like it's a big deal and turning it all around to make it look like you are the one that is doing something wrong, by asking him why he lied!!! If he lied he could of said so and said something like he just forgot but, he didn't he went all out and act mad about it and then he took it a step further by changing the pass word so that you couldn't check the time anymore or anything else for that matter!!! So if he has any calls he don't want you to see on the bill you can't get in to see them !! You best keep an eye on him i would think!!! trust me don't feel bad about ever asking him anything, he is suppose to answer you without getting mad if he has nothing to hide from you !!!! sounds like he has something to hide in my book !!!! And have him to give you the pass word back too, if he has nothing to hide why wouldn't he give it to you? it belongs to both of you regardless if he thinks you trust him or not!!!! it has nothing to do with that so don't let him tell you other wise and not give it to you !!!
2007-09-15 00:47:58 · answer #3 · answered by monkeymomma46 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think you are both over-reacting.
You actually checked when he got his phone messages? Either you don't have enough to do or you truly do not trust him.
Then - he lies about receiving the call.
Calling him at work and asking for a call back within 30 minutes is certainly unreasonable. You have no idea what his day is like and because he is at work, he must put his work first.
If you continue to show him how much you distrust him by checking on his every activity, you are setting him up to meet your expectations. Don't do this.
Pull yourself together. He probably just doesn't like being so controlled and will use lies to gain the upper hand.
2007-09-15 00:45:30 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
His response is extreme and over-the-top. Where you using a "joking" tone when you pointed out his fib? Or, was there a reason he didn't want you reading the cell phone bill? Trust issues,.......what made him bring that up? I would wonder what the heck is going on! I'd probably say something cheeky like, "woa killer, you going for the jugular or the aortic arch???" I like using humor to diffuse over-the-top reactions. If it smells like smoke,..chances are Rome is burning.
2007-09-15 00:39:05 · answer #5 · answered by baxter 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, if that's all there is questionable in your relationship, I'd say that he probably was just being normal and not wanting to call you at that precise moment and didn't like the fact that you "called him out" about it... I would have just let it go.... only you know if there is something more that is going on to give you more of a reason to be suspicious... but just based on what you said, I think he didn't like you making a big deal over something so insignificant.
Now, if you had left a message that you were in the hospital, or had a flat, I would have expected him to call when he got your message.. but just wanting to chat .. well, I can see where he might have waited...
2007-09-15 00:37:45 · answer #6 · answered by Wildflower 6 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Maybe someone else cleared his messages and didn't tell him until 10.00
Then he gets p!ssed because he is innocent and you are calling him a liar. Just a guess.
As to the over reaction. How often do you call him? Could he consider that trust issues?
2007-09-15 01:01:19 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
a slight amount of doubt is not wrong at al. tel him what u discovered n how u discovered(the checking of the phone cal i mean). speakto him.it sorts out things immediately right. the more u keep it to urself,the more it's gonna bug u lady.
2007-09-15 00:49:39 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is very defensive. He's just mad because you found out he lied. Nobody like getting caught in a lie. That's why people shouldn't lie.
2007-09-15 00:46:18 · answer #9 · answered by mamabear 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He lied! There is no justification....makes you second guess anything that comes out of his mouth...sounds to me like he is hiding something....possibly his whereabouts when you made that call.
2007-09-15 00:40:46 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋