Should I say something?

Question

I have a friend whom I used to be close with until the last year or so when she started dating a drug dealer. She is now 7 months pregnant, as well as a mother to a 4 year old boy, and lives in a 1 bedroom house with this man and his 'business'. She smokes pot all the time, around her child, as well as being pregnant. I don't know what to do. I would like to say something to put her in a situation to stop, being a mother myself, but I have seen so many other women just get a 'slap on the wrist' when caught in the act. Would it even do any good to mention something to authorities? Who should I tell? Her doctor? Child protective services? No one? Is it even my business? I feel like being a mother myself, SOMEONE should step in for her kids' sake. I feel like my hands are tied. She got caught with pot in her house two years ago also and child protective services drug tested her for about 6 months. She stayed clean for that long, and they left her alone. What should I do?

I cannot talk to her about her actions because she doesn't see anything wrong with it. Also, she doesn't know how much I know about her situation.

Answer 1

Call Child Protective Services immediately. Your "friend" is neglecting her children by using drugs and keeping them in such an environment. Your primary concern should be for the safety and welfare of the children. They cannot stay with her if she continues to act so irresponsibly and neglectful.

Answer 2

Child Protective Services, if they don't do anything the first time, keep an eye on the situation, say you want to remain anonymous, and if she continues, turn her in again, this time to both CPS and The Cops, it isn't safe for these children and her unborn child to be in this environment especially with the drug dealing and stuff, it gets violent and the drug dealers aren't very trust worthy to be around a 4 year old. I've been around drug dealers, I've witnessed how bad the business can get, her kids need to get out of there, if she isn't willing to get rid of this guy, you should step up and turn her *** in.

If she stays clean the second time they test her, just keep waiting til you catch her again, it's really the only way, or get solid proof, pictures and stuff. Just try and remain low, let the law do it, remain anonymous. Help the law without letting her know you are, these drug dealers and users can get very violent when tested.

Answer 3

An addict cannot hear you !!! The drug(s) have TOTAL CONTROL of her mind & emotions !!! You said she is your friend, then be her REAL FRIEND and report her (annonymously ) to child services!!! Tell them she is 7mo preg & has a 4yr old who does drugs with (he's breathing it in -- he's "using") !!! They will see by her records that she's isnt a 1st-timer & they will move fast!!! And if possible -- you MUST TRY TO SAVE THIS BABY -- they can treat him/her invetro so he wont come out & suffer WITHDRAWL !!!!!! You HAVE TO DO THIS, there is NO choice -- these are innocent babies you're talking about !!!!
She'll get good prenatal care which she isnt getting now (as if she was going to a doctor he would've caught her drug use & reported it by now) !!! If she says she's seeing an OB she is LYING to you to PROTECT her habit (the PLEASURE PART OF THE BRAIN WILL FORCE HER TO LIE OR DO ANYTHING TO KEEP GETTING THE HIGH) !!!!
So turn her in and do it annonymously, she'll get an in-patient bed and be weened gently off her drugs so as not to harm the baby and her baby will stop being DAMAGED AND SHE MAY COME OUT & GET TO BE A REAL MOM IF SHE STAYS STRAIGHT, BUT NO KID, NO BABY NEEDS THIS AS A mom !!!! yOU ARE your sister's keeper !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Also, turn him in as he's a DRUG DEALER & YOU are sponsoring it in your neighborhood !!! You're either part of the solution or you are part of the problem!!!
What does your heart & mind say is the RIGHT THING TO DO ????????????????????????????????????
NOW, WASTE NO MORE TIME, DO WHAT IS RIGHT !!!!
THESE CHILDREN'S LIVES DEPEND ON YOU !!!! Do you want to be partly responsible for retardation??? Lifelong health problems, diseases ????? Does this baby & his brother deserve this kind of "life" ????? NO, OF COURSE NOT !!!!! I'd do it right now if I could !!!!! Police & child services are available 24/7/365 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! do it NOW. PLEASE, I BEG YOU 4 THE BABIES !!!!!!!!!
And if she takes the right road after getting clean & having her baby, then at least he'll be locked up & out of her life!!! Talk her into moving far away where he can never find them !!!! Drug users are usually abusers !!! How long b4 he beats one of the babies to Death ??????? DO IT NOW, and then for your own sake use your acting skills to prove you dont know how this coulda happened !!!
GOD & JESUS, who loved the little children, WILL REWARD YOU !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Or punish you 4 turning a blind eye !!!!!! " I am my (sister's) keeper !!!"

Answer 4

If she's smoking pot, her brain is affected and she's probably completely incapable of hearing anything you say. However, both the 4 yr old she has and her unborn child are at risk in that environment. For their sake, call child protective services and report what you know. Sometimes it takes repeat visits for something to get done. The fact that she was reported before will make this report weigh more heavily.

Answer 5

wow, that is a tough one. i have felt the same in a dissimilar situation, where somebody was put others at risk with their lack of responsibility. i did nothing in the end, and still dont, even though this persons actions are invisible to me, i know they exist. we console ourselves with the fact that some day somebody else will do something, that leaves us a clear conscience, as not telling tales, but in reality, we are just not putting ourselves out there and doing the right thing. i am ashamed to write that i too, am not going to be the one that stops the actions of that person i am aware of, and i feel the shame you feel when i read your question. i know, we dont need the extra grief in our daily lives if that person finds out you told the authorities, but i sometimes question if the peace of mind that i did the right thing would be better, but dont want also to risk the feeling of being self rightious too. maybe i am not a world changer, and maybe i am, perhaps i will write an anonymous letter as a result of this answer, and take a tiny step towards a better world. if everybody in the world took a step to fix one problem, thats 5 billion problems on the way to being fixed. Time to act ? or time to change tv channel ? not sure. good luck

Answer 6

at least try, call CPS, shes already on file with them. Doing nothing will do no good. Also check with your local police department and see if there some sort of drug task force or tip line. Theres always a chance the boyfriend has a warrant for drug charges. Getting him out of the picture would help. It is our business as law abiding citizens to protect the young and innocent. So try both CPS and the local police. Have as much information on hand as possible including names and such.

Answer 7

You can call CPS on her, especially if they already have a case on her, they'll be likely(well, assuming anyway)to check up on her. And, they keep everything anonymous. You could also file a report with the police, which they'll most likely turn over to CPS anyway, but I don't think they'll keep you out of it then. Call CPS and see what they say and take it from there.

Yes, you're right, somebody does need to step in and speak for the kids. And it is your business, because in the long run, who's going to be footing the bill for those kids? Our tax dollars. She shouldn't be having kids if her goal in life is to get stoned. She doesn't deserve those kids, and they should go somewhere where someone will properly care for them and love them. Not to mention, wouldn't you feel guilty if something happened to those kids, if it was something that could've been prevented? Granted, the system is kind of a joke, but who knows, maybe it'll be enough for her to pull her head out of her a**....Good luck!

Answer 8

You must act on behalf of her children.

Call Child Protective Services. Keep a log of illegal activity - including who was there, what was said, etc.... It's called gathering evidence. Offer to assist mom in finding a suitable rehab or drug care center. But - stick to your guns and remember - you are probably those kids only advocate.

Answer 9

Call the child protective services. She will get into more trouble because she is pregnant. It is always your business when there are children in danger. Call today.

Answer 10

Call Child Protective Services. Keep a log of illegal activity - including who was there, what was said, etc.... It's called gathering evidence Do what you think is the best for your friend and her unborn baby