"Making money can be unfulfilling sometimes; however, it can equally be fulfilling with the right equilibrium."
2007-09-14 16:47:09 · 37 answers · asked by 128333 4 in Education & Reference ➔ Homework Help
sounds right to me.
2007-09-14 16:49:16 · answer #1 · answered by Amanda 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Trying not to change too much of this...I feel it should state: "Making money can be unfulfilling at times; however, with the right equilibrium, it can be rather quite fulfilling."
Hope that helps!
2007-09-14 16:53:26 · answer #2 · answered by Full of Questions 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Parallelism!
Equilibrium should be in parallel form with the words "making, unfulfilling, and fulfilling."
Better construction of the sentence:
Making money can be unfulfilling sometimes; however, it can equally be fulfilling with the proper budgeting.
2007-09-14 17:52:53 · answer #3 · answered by EleuteriaFox 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Two problems: equally fulfilling to what? the word equally doesn't make sense here. Also, equilibrium is the wrong word choice, and wrong word choice can be considered ungrammatical. So, try this:
"Making money can be unfulfilling; however, it need not be if one finds an appealing vocation."
2007-09-14 16:52:28 · answer #4 · answered by holacarinados 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it should be
Making money can be unfulfilling sometimes; however, it can be equally fulfilling with the right equilibrium."
2007-09-14 16:51:34 · answer #5 · answered by Aztec girl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
DELETE equally. It is redundant.
SUBSTITUTE at times for sometimes
Thus:
At times, making money can be unfulfilling. With the proper equilibrium, however, it can be enormously fulfilling.
2007-09-14 17:03:23 · answer #6 · answered by d_cider1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it were me, I would change it to the following....but it has been a while since my last English class.
"Making money can sometimes be unfulfilling; however, it can be quite satisfying when one finds the right balance."
Equally didn't seem to make sense in the sentence, I also kind of reworded the end.
2007-09-14 17:00:04 · answer #7 · answered by rikki_jo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
making $ can b unfulfilling sometimes, but it can equally b fulfilling w/ the right equilibrium
2007-09-14 16:53:28 · answer #8 · answered by knowledgeable1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
However is a word that is usually used to start a sentence, given that you are using a semi colon, it seems ok.
I'm not an expert and I've had a shot at rewriting your sentence (below). You may want to reduce the complexity of the sentence in order to avoid the issue.
"The pursuit of money is often thought to be unfulfilling. However it may be fulfilling as part of a balanced lifestyle."
2007-09-14 16:58:46 · answer #9 · answered by Noz 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
MS Word has no problem with it and the sentence makes sense to me, but I would use the word "balance" instead of "equilibrium" to keep the syllable count down and make the reading level easier.
Personally, though I would lose the semicolon (;). Since you have the word "however" which is a conjunctive clause the comma after it is sufficient.
2007-09-14 16:55:17 · answer #10 · answered by Dan S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think there is a split infinitive in the second part of the sentence. It should be, . . . it can be equally fulfilling . . . .
I don't like the way this sentence sounds or what's the point, but you asked about grammar, not composition. If you wrote this setence, then rewrite it so it expresses something that makes sense--equillibrium = balance, I don't know.
2007-09-14 16:54:22 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋