what is the best and simple way? what do you do?
2007-09-14 16:45:30 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
hi sg,
In my opinion there are two types of hurtful comment, the intentional one & the incidental one. Sometimes people say things that hurt your feelings but they do not meant it to be hurtful, probably just joking around. Guys do this all the time, using insulting names & so forth when you know they would really be there for you if you needed them. For the incidental ones you just try to let it flow past without noticing too much. Realize that they are not being purposely mean, and move on.
For the purposeful comment, then you smile weakly and walk away, or if you can't walk away just turn away. It's possible to come back with a witty remark sometimes, but if you are a sg then those are really hard to say, right? Or if you think of them five minutes later they don't do much good. Then avoid those people. Choose a different friend group, sit somewhere else, etc.
If you're young enough to be in high school, please realize that there is never any situation ever in your later life that even comes close to the pressure and hostility that high school kids can generate for each other. Even a tough workplace leaves you the option of finding another job. But in high school you just feel trapped into the social network that is there. If you can survive that you will never experience it again anywhere in your life. (However I do not recommend joining the military.)
Try memorizing a key phrase (or mantra) that you can repeat to yourself. (I'm wonderful to people and I get straight As!) Then when you turn away you just say that inside your head and stare into the distance.
If someone really is being an "emotional bully" and purposely badgering you try talking to someone in authority, a supervisor at work, a dean at school etc.
2007-09-15 02:13:11 · answer #1 · answered by yyyyyy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it all depends on the type of person you are dealing with... If the person is a bit ignorant or is ignorant you can use words the persons don't know- big words, you can call it that/ intellectual invectives. If he/she is confused there is a chance that there would be no retorting. On the other hand you can always act impervious to their comments. Sarcasm is always good in these situations. For me personally I say, "that was so hurtful (placing my hand on my chest) Sarcastically of course." My class always laughs when I do this... You can always saying, :okay, thank you," They thrive off your distress and if you contradict this then you will have the upper hand... Hope you find this useful. Let me know what happens...:-)
2007-09-15 01:36:54 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When someone says something to you that hurts you, they often are trying to get a rise out of you. Doing it because they know it will upset you. I find agreeing with them usually cuts the conversation real short. It's not fun for them if you act like it doesn't bother you. For example, if weight is an issue for me and someone says to me 'You're fat!' I would say, 'Sure, so what?' and walk away. That's not what they want, so they will drop it a lot of the time.
2007-09-14 23:56:56 · answer #3 · answered by IcyHippo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends whether you're a passive or aggressive type. If someone were to say that to me, I'd comment something back too (smiling) - even if it's false I'll admit (hey, one can never tell if a rude comment was made up to piss you off or not).
But other than that, I like to punch n' kick the air, imagining they were the ones I'm hitting. If not, I'd hit something like pillows..... Yes, I'm rather aggressive, but quite passive.
2007-09-15 00:00:41 · answer #4 · answered by cyberfiendkil 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
They are probably trying to get a rise out of you, for their own sick selves. Once certain people know they can get a rise out of you, they will try and do it. I'm just a normal person that minds their own business. The best thing to do is to ignore it. You can get angry and pray that that they will realize their mistakes, or pray that they will realize their wrongs and ask to be forgiven. The best thing to do is to be yourself, go on like nothing happened, and watch and see how it comes around to bite them right back in the ***.
2007-09-15 00:21:48 · answer #5 · answered by Kate J 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Smile at them and keep walking. Don't dwell on it, don't strike back and just remain occupied with your own dealings. To react would only give the rude person more fuel to spit fire. Just be the bigger of the two and you'll be amazed at how good you feel about yourself and how attractive and strong you appear to all others!
2007-09-14 23:59:47 · answer #6 · answered by enjoyrselves 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Say "Thank You" and walk away.
Thank you will cut the ties in an energetic way and leave you with no "sticky residue". By this I mean... if you say something back, then they reply and then you....tennis game of words. "Thank you" is short sweet and does not impair your integrity!! It tells them you heard it but there is not comeback to embattle! They are left empty handed, or empty mouthed!
2007-09-14 23:51:55 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Either give them back with ruder comments or just ignore them .
2007-09-15 00:02:09 · answer #8 · answered by Tgo 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ignore them! It's no use arguing and wasting time with them. you're beautiful and they're way too ugly.
2007-09-15 00:03:06 · answer #9 · answered by Potatomasher 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Avoid this type of person as though he/she were infected with smallpox. You don't need this kind of crap in your life. Walk away from it.
2007-09-14 23:53:58 · answer #10 · answered by Richard B 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋