Am I In A Controlling and Abusive Relationship?

Question

My boyfriend of a year is controlling. We live together and have a two month old son. Of course he is nice most times and I love him to death, but I think he might be controlling and verbally abusive. When he gets mad at something I said wrong on the phone, he hangs up. If he doesnt like something he leaves the house and turns off his phone and doesn't come back till hours later. when he does come back he yells at me. He pushes me against a wall if I try to walk away from him he gets in my face and yells at me calling me stupid and I'm a ****** idiot. He says shut the **** up to me, he grabs me by the arms, he says that I'm nothing and that I disgust him. He tells me I'm crazy and I need mental health. My family isn't allowed to visit me and neither are any of my friends, if I want to visit them I have to let him know where I'm going and when I'll be back. He doesn't want my family to see my baby and if I take the baby to see them, he gives me a hard time. this is a few things. help

Answer 1

GET OUT NOW!!!!!!

Answer 2

why is it as I read this, I think of all of the women that have come up missing, and eventually found murdered by their psycho boyfriends/husbands? It starts like this, then ends up you getting the s**t beat out of you, and then....I don't want to go there. but you can imagine.

The verbal abuse is to break you down, and to make you not feel good about yourself. You're easier to control then. He's not Maybe controlling and abusive- he IS.

Mama, do yourself and your baby a favor and run, no- flee to your parents house or somewhere else safe. They will take you in, get a restraining order because odds are he is going to come after you, angrier than ever, and STAY AWAY FROM HIM. you may love him, but what he is doing is not love. you are a person, a woman, a mother- you are not his possession or his slave.

You should never feel guilty about seeing the people you love, or letting them be involved in your son's life. What does your family think about all of this, odds are you make excuses for his behavior, and you are probably afraid of him coming home, and worry about him finding anything to get angry about.

You don't want to live in fear, you are worth far more than that. You deserve love, and security, and a home that you feel safe in. How can you feel safe in an enviornment where you get called names and pushed against the wall? Most importantly, do you want your son to grow up thinking that what his father does is ok? NO!!! Find help, as soon as you safely can! Hugs, and be strong! You will be on my mind, and heart

Answer 3

You need to leave that house running!! Take that baby and go home to your family. You do not deserve that type of treatment from anyone. The next time he leaves the house and you know he's going to be gone for a long time, pack and leave. What you should do is pre-pack your bags when he's not home so that the next time he's in a rage and leaves, you leave also. The minute he walks out that door, call a friend/family member to come get you and just leave. And don't go back no matter how much he promises to change. He will not change, he could get worse. Do it not only for yourself, but for your baby.

Answer 4

I am sorry to tell you that we cannot help you. Only you can help yourself.

You need to do whatever it takes to get out of this relationship.

Your child will either become an abuser if it's a boy, or an abusive recipient if it's a girl.

Do not let your child grow up seeing you being treated this way.

Next time he touches you, call the police. Better yet, move out as quick as you can.

I am not sure what you should do, but I do know that you just cannot do nothing.

Then, after you two have seperated, do not date or sleep with ANYONE until you have had several years of therapy and you get to the root of your emotional problems.

I will pray for you and your child.

Answer 5

I don't know how old you are, but i do want you to know this kind of abuse never stops only gets worse. I watched my sister be treated the same way. She ended up with 2 kids no help and lots of verbal abuse to this very day. I also had a friend who was treated the same way she would slowly move her things out every time she visited her family until one day she never went back. This is something you really need to think about your baby is only 2 months old you don't want him to learn this behavior growing up watching his dad beat and curse at you.

Answer 6

Let me ask you this: Does a bear poop in the woods? If you answer "Yes, of course" to my question, you've just answered yours.
If you've been together this long and he treats you like this, you obviously have no respect for yourself. Get yourself together and think about yourself and your son. Your boyfriend is setting a horrible example for your son. If you wouldn't want your son to act like this as an adult, you'd better take care of the situation quick! Nobody deserves to be treated that way.
A call to the police might be something else you can do. He does not have a right to put his hands on you unless you welcome it. It's called assault/battery. Take care of the situation soon because you never know if he might take it one step too far and either you or your son gets hurt or worse.

Answer 7

Yes , you are. It is very obvious even to you.I can not give you advice on what to do. Let your heart and soul lead you that way instead of Yahoo answers to validate the reasons of what you already should know. Look up Sociopath and that will describe to you what he is doing to you. Get help and do not alienate yourself from friends or family. You or your son! Get yourself some counseling even if he will not get joint counseling. Love always, do what is best for you and your son. You know he is being controlling and verbally abusive to you and do not get yourself stuck to where you defend his behavior for years and years. Do what is best for you and do not feel bad or resentful for doing so. I think you do need help from others and do not feel bad about seeking help, it is healthy to know you aware of the problems. IT shows intelligence and encourage. Good luck to you and many blessings.

Answer 8

You need to get away before he hurts or kills your or your child. You need to make plans with family secretly while he is out, pack for you and your child, and go to a private place surrounded by loved ones who will keep your location secret. I suggest you should have kept file of his transgressions during you, and call the cops if he pursues anything abusive again. You are NOT in a relationship. Stop playing with your life and your childs and LEAVE HIM!

Answer 9

First of all you are in volved in abrusive relationship you have a son together and when you argue he leaves comes back and pushes you around and your family is not allowed to visit, you are a fool and if you keep this up this man is gonna serious hurt you one day.

best of lluck

Answer 10

he is an abuser, who has to control u because he has no self esteem and feels like he isn't in control in his own life. he keeps u down emotionally so u will feel worthless so u won't ever leave him, but u know what your not worthless, why allow a man who can't even control his life to control yours. go home to your family girl, don't let him destroy your self respect. get away from him while your still young and your not completely emotionally destroyed. don't believe the mean things he is saying to u, your self worth does not depend on him, your self worth comes from the lord. good luck.

Answer 11

Short and sweet, get out or end up dead or worse. Your family and friends were there long before that loser and will be after so he has no right to deny you that kind of love and support. Your child will disrespect you too if that is what it sees growing up, and there is nothing worse than that feeling. Get out of the relationship and move on for you and your child's sake. Good luck!~