What should I do?????*****?

Question

My boyfriend suffers from depression and he's a recovering drug addict. He has a poor job history where he 2/3 of the time he quits and just gets sick of it. And once he got fired because he got sick on the job and he was temp. Anyways, he helps out with our son in the morning a little (he feeds him and lets me sleep for an extra hour), but then the rest of the day I am taking care of our son by myself. He doesn't help clean the room unless I nag on him. mostly it's me. i take out the garbage, do the laundry, and I do the cleaning on top of taking care of our son. Anyways, I'm sick of doing everything by myself whle he complains tha he needs to fix the comp. or w/e. Which him fixing the comp. is basically a bunch of downloading and things you do with the internet. Not really technical stuff. Well, I want him to work, but I don't know how to get him motivated. I'd go work instead, but then he'll complain cuz he has to take care of our son all day and he says he can make more money.....

so he says I can be a SAHM, but he's not working.

I meant recovered addict. He recieved a certificate of completion from rehab in february the day after ( I think) our son was born. And, he is extremely picky about his job. he thinks too much of himself sometimes. he tells me he won't get ou of bed for less than $8.00/hr.!!!!! I think he should take what he can get and get over himself or watch our son while I work. By the way, the whole day care thing is expensive and I'm overprotective, i guess, of my son. He is my only son and with everything in the news about abusive/neglective babysitters and daycare workers, it is hard to let my son be cared for by someone I don't know well. Plus, I can't afford background checks. I live with my mom and my mother and his father help us with diapers and stuff, and I got WIC for his formula and cereal(he's 7 mths. old) and medicaid for his insurance. By the way, he tells me he'd find a job b4 me cuz I have a very small job history. My first job I got fired because I took a day off to go to a ....

I meant recovered addict. He recieved a certificate of completion from rehab in february the day after ( I think) our son was born. And, he is extremely picky about his job. he thinks too much of himself sometimes. he tells me he won't get ou of bed for less than $8.00/hr.!!!!! I think he should take what he can get and get over himself or watch our son while I work. By the way, the whole day care thing is expensive and I'm overprotective, i guess, of my son. He is my only son and with everything in the news about abusive/neglective babysitters and daycare workers, it is hard to let my son be cared for by someone I don't know well. Plus, I can't afford background checks. I live with my mom and my mother and his father help us with diapers and stuff, and I got WIC for his formula and cereal(he's 7 mths. old) and medicaid for his insurance. By the way, he tells me he'd find a job b4 me cuz I have a very small job history. My first job I got fired because I took a day off to go to a ....

funeral for my cuzins husband ( I was a hostess at a small restaurant). She told me (my boss) that I couldn't take off unless I had someone to cover my shift, but I was new and barely new anyone and the other hostesses were either working or couldn't come in. So I had to choose, and i went to the funeral bcuz it was 4 mths. after my cuzin lost her mother(my godmother and great-aunt) and now she lost her husband so I wanted to be there for her. The second job i took because I wanted to move forward and live on my own, so me and my bf moved in with a couple he was friends with whe I was preganant, and well, we bumped heads. I worked, fed her cat, helped with laundry, and cleaned around the house. Well, she didn't think it was enough. She was a drunk and a druggy by the way. She wanted me to get on my hands and knees and clean the toilet with bleach while i was pregnant. anyways, she kicked me out and I had to move back to my moms and I had to quit because my moms was an 1 1/2 hr. away.

Answer 1

Well baby girl Let`s see first he is a recovering drug addict. He don't want to work he don't and wont help with the baby (his baby)
He don't clean up even behind himself. This dude wont even take out the garbage. He wont care for the baby while you work. I don't think you can see you don't need him. What is he doing for you? NOTHING, Let this guy go. You are more woman than he is man. You are worth so much more and you know what You will get someone who adore you. Drop this BUM....Honey you will never get him motivated because he don't want nothing out of life he is full of excuses. And it`s always some one else fault!!

Answer 2

First of all he needs to work in order to feel good about himself. It sounds like you need to work as well, but that may be another story. Right now, he needs to realize that if he doesn't get motivated and past all of his fears then he will be more depressed and eventually more strung out and then ultimately homeless. Without being a nagging, raging b itch get him to open up and tell you what he really loves. Then help him find a job that is in line with that passion. Then you can become a nagging, raging b itch if he doesn't act upon it. Being a man myself I know for a fact that if you are not the breadwinner then you feel like a serious loser. Maybe you both can get a job, at least once the kid is old enough to go to daycare. It will drastically help your depression levels as well. I know it's not easy, but you can change everything by thinking positive. It sounds cliche, but view "the secret" www.secret.tv and read "the master key system" (just type it in to the yahoo search. It honestly changes your views on many things... for the better... Good Luck, I know life is tough, but only when you are looking through fogged up goggles... trust me this will help...

Answer 3

He wants a get rich quick plan..which means he won't do anything unless he could make $1000's.

Nowadays, responsibilty means nothing.

Sit down and talk over a plan for a normal life.

Answer 4

You need to get your boyfriend help. If he is not already, you should get him to a therapist and a support group. For jobs, you need to encourage him. Any negativity will not help him. For helping with your son, you need to take it one step at a time. Ask him to do one extra thing, and if that gets done, go from there. Good luck.

Answer 5

By your description of him, It's clear that your man is one of those people who refused to grow and do not know how to take responsibility of their life and family. Do not depend on him and wait for him to change because it would take time and eternity. If you cannot be by yourself, find another man who has more desirable job history, and knows what responsibility is all about..

Answer 6

Well maybe you should try and tell him to try and get over his drug addiction. It would be best for your family. maybe you shoudl do that now before bad things happen. Use a bigger approch. Like tell him something he might want to hear. Don't Nag him just tell him "honey you need to get yourself together." I don't want anything to happen to you." Tell him something he will actually listen. to

Answer 7

Seek professional help if you can afford it. Then again the way you are descibing the situation can you not afford to?

Marriage counscelers will see couples. They don't require you to be married.

Good Luck

Answer 8

so neither of you are working? how do you live? honestly, he won't change for you or anyone. the more you plead and nag, the more he'll sit. get out of there and get a real life. it has so much more to offer you than you have.

Answer 9

Why did you have a baby with him if he's an addict and suffers from depression? Sorry, but you're not real bright and now you're complaining? Leave him then

Answer 10

sounds like you need to spend some time with Jesus. get out your bibles, talk to him, go to church. - good luck!!!

Jeremiah 29:11: For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.