How can I stop being so self-conscience?

Question

When I'm talking to someone, I'm always worried about what they are thinking about me. It makes me so self-conscience, and I usually turn very cold. Not mean, I just stop talking. I always tell myself that I don't really know what someone else is thinking and that I'm probably projecting how I really feel about myself. I know these things, but it doesn't help. Does anyone have any good tips that can help me?

Answer 1

Why do you feel self conscious? Is it the way you look or the way you think you look? Who is judging you and why do you care about their opinions?

Steps

1. Identify what you're terribly conscious about. A certain aspect of your appearance? The twitch in your eye? Your accent? Your intellectual abilities? Make a list of these things and next to each item, write something you can do to improve it.

2. Figure out who you're trying to please and why. What kind of expectations are making you so self conscious? Is everyone around you picture perfect, or are you comparing yourself to airbrushed models in magazines? Have you convinced yourself that no one else has twitches, or flaws, or trips? Stop for a second and turn that self-criticism outwards. No one is perfect, and you've never noticed their little quirks before, so why would they pay so much attention to yours? Just feel like there's no need to worry and always picture yourself like you know you look and feel good in front of others, but don't think about it too much because it will already be embedded.

3. Redirect your attention. When you start to feel self conscious, locate a target - it doesn't matter what it is, it may be the bug crawling across the floor - and concentrate on it. What color is it? How many legs? Anything that turns the attention away from yourself will do the trick.

4. Make fun of yourself. Yep, that's right--not in a self-depreciating sort of way, but in a humble and witty way to acknowledge that you're not perfect and you don't care. After you drop a jar of peanut butter in front of someone you fancy and watch in horror as it shatters into pieces and splatters peanut butter chunks on the floor, burst out laughing at your inherent clumsiness, cracking a joke that you should be required to wear double-sided tape on your hands--and then apologize and help clean it up!

5. Build your self confidence. Make an effort to gain a deeper understanding of your self-worth. Replace your worries about what other people think about you with a preoccupation over your own goals, achievements, and progress.

6. Work on changing the inner you. You have to believe that you are special and that no one is better or more important than you.

Answer 2

In order for other people to believe that you're confident, you have to believe it. Start in a foreign place, but where you're not really confident. For me, when I was trying to overcome my self-consciousness, it was a Hollister store in a mall I don't usually go to; there were some kids older than me there, and almost everyone there is hot. You just have to walk with your head up high and look people straight in the eye. Its not bad to be innocent; in fact, being innocent is better than being overconfident and a snob. A slight amount of self-consciousness is fine, but stopping a conversation because of it is definitely crossing the line. Don't overanalyze things. So what if they don't like you? Its their loss, because you're probably an amazing person. And if they do like you? You've made a new friend! A friend that you wouldn't have made if you didn't continue that conversation.

If you start to feel self-conscious, take a DEEP breath, inhale through your diaphram, close your eyes for a second or two, and hold your head up high. Good luck =]

Answer 3

you are very self conscience is it good or bad? its good as long it doesn't take over you re life.. its good if you want to better yourself to learn to explore than its a great ''gift'' more people can read or see or think what the other person feel think etc i do to.. its OK.. don't freak out its a gift i am not religious but i do think theres more between earth and the sky /heaven yes you do project and that again is very good to do so..you will meet people in the near future that share the same views ( you meet them now me..) just hold on a little longer you NOT alone you will see in the mean while focus on things you want to learn where you have a passion for go for it and than you re answer is nearby don't sit still if you do nothing will happen a mystery of life so sweet so fine!!! bless you X

Answer 4

You sound like a very nice person that deserves a nice answer.

So...

Understand that you're not unique in your thoughts. They are doing the same with you. If they turn cold, is it because of you? NOT!! They're doing the same thing as you.

Further...

We spend 70 percent of our lives trying to be someone else. Spend 100 percent of your life being you. Let the other poor person spend 70 percent of their life trying to be like you.

I have several friends that are not beauties, and they don't care what anyone thinks. That's why I'm attracted to them. I love their personality. Time can't take that away.

Good luck nice person!

G


.

Answer 5

Just think to yourself "this person is a real dumb dumb, wow they're lucky i'm giving them the time of day but ok i'll humor them. They're so beneath me."

Mean yes but you have a self conciousness problem. just do it. Don't let it go to your head and turn into a bizatch though.

Answer 6

Men focus on their ability, not apperance. if a man has a skill, in his mind it compenscates completely for his bad looks. take this attitude, most people dont care what you look like, but how you can contribute to them, and to society.

Answer 7

1) Change your avatar to not include a scowl.
2) Ask more questions and care about the person's answers. That will take care of it.

Answer 8

try turning the negative thoughts, into positive thoughts. You are showing you have a self esteem problem, work on it.

Answer 9

Learn to be more self-confident.
You will be liked in proportion to how well you know your-self!

Answer 10

just talk to them and try not to think about their thoughts.

if they start to talk to you more that means they like you and you know they do so you can start feeling better

if they dont like you you will know it because they wont talk to you