We are married 2 years; second marriage for us both, both previous marriages were over 20 years long. We are struggling financially, both have health problems, I am on anti-depressants, he is depressed, not on meds. 99% of the time we are very close, inseperable, with each other 24/7 and like it that way.
Now ... I woke up sick and irritatible, he got more irritable, two minor tiffs escalated, I went quiet to keep from saying things I would regret later, after a half hour, he says, well, I guess you want me to leave, so I will pack up and do so as soon as I figure out where to go. I said, if that is what you want, but I dont want you to. He then blew up and accused me of things I havent done or said, took a nap, got up and left to do laundry, saying not to worry he'd be gone soon.
I don't get it. This is out of the blue. Any advice would be appreciated ... I cant stop crying and anytime I say anything, he twists it then tells me I am "doing this to him". Help!
2007-09-14 12:42:08 · 12 answers · asked by bobo 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He doesnt want to go, he wants re-assurance. Stop crying and when he gets home tell him you love him and you would be devestated if he left. Give him the re-assurance he needs, especially if he is depressed. Now is the time to shower him with more love than ever before. Its all very well to have pride, but if it loses you the man of your dreams, is it worth it? I dont think so. Relationships are about honesty...tell him how much you love him....thats what he needs right now.
2007-09-14 12:51:11 · answer #1 · answered by rightio 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe this is new in a way you were both married for long time with previous marriage the first 3 years are to see if it is going to work or not .. Maybe it will be to talk about this or maybe get professional help if you can afford it.. You are both under medications & with problems that if you as couple don't solve like the adults you are then who will solve your problems .. I don't know the reasons or problems you had in previous marriage but DON'T make the same mistekes .. I will suggest to talk about it & if you love each other then figth for your marriage & good luck !! :)
2007-09-14 12:53:00 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's fed up sweety. Not necessarily with you, but with everything. Unfortunately when people get to this point they are willing to throw the baby out with the bathwater.
Don't compromise to keep him there......offer counseling. Offer talk....but if he's that torqued, then you should let him go. Maybe if he feels he has his own 'space' he can feel like he can think and feel without encroachment by 'other' circumstances. Then maybe he can get some of his 'self' back and maybe he will listen to reason then.
Relationships are difficult, so just try and keep a level head. When people get to this point *everything* seems twisted and confused. He's probably tired and exhausted....like you are I imagine.
Just do your best.....and I wish you the best in everything.
2007-09-14 12:53:32 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry he not going anywhere. I think he want to b reassured that u want him and still love him dearly. Tell him all of that. My late husband use to pull that on me whenever we have a argument. He was always moving out. Fix him a nice dinner put on some white diamonds look all sexy for him. He will not even remember the argument. and also maybe he should see a doctor about his depression. Good Luck.
2007-09-14 13:49:01 · answer #4 · answered by applehctud 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you may want to seek out a relationship counselor.
Are you sure that 99% of the time you are very close? It does not seem that all it would take would be one fight to end a marriage....
Good luck to you.
2007-09-14 12:49:20 · answer #5 · answered by saloon girl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My last relationship was similar. Most likely, he's saying those things because he wants your reassurance that you want him to stay. He was upset when he said it... I would suggest that you just stay as calm as you can and try to talk to him, honestly, about how you feel. I know it's hard to express your feeling without starting another argument, but if you do your best to stay calm, the argument is less likely. Just think about if you're really happy yourself, and ask him bluntly if he is...while he's in a better mood. Wishing you the best of luck, sweetheart.
2007-09-14 12:54:12 · answer #6 · answered by sskstru 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh Jeez, it seems like HE is the one with the problems here. Let him do what he wants. You obviously cant force him to do anything he doesnt wanna do. He will most likely regret it and come back and apologize to you for acting that way.
2007-09-14 12:49:17 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you see that big elephant in the corner of the room?
Why don't you quit ignoring it, and get to working on the real problems in your life!
2007-09-14 13:34:10 · answer #8 · answered by box of rain 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He just wants to blow off some steam. Apoligize and tell him you need him and then have make up sex(works for me) bless
2007-09-14 12:56:16 · answer #9 · answered by moeschk 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask him how soon will he be leaving as you have a life to live without all of this bullshit.
2007-09-14 13:40:08 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋