I asked a question once in this Yahoo Q and A about a year ago.
Perhaps due to the invaluable advice given by the Yahoo community and perhaps because of some things I had observed subsequently, I decided to slow down our relationship. This is to say, she is still my girl friend, but not as close.
I had subsequently found out she was actually quite casual and wild. She had told me she used to go clubbing with her girl friends, but she just drinks there. Subsequently, her friends said she was the wild one and would drink the night away. And the MEN that would come and surround her! Yet, in spite of this, she continued to date me, never mentioning what she had done. She still seemed sincere and benign as before.
However, I did not reveal what I found out and I just kept on with our relationship. She also didn't know what I knew.
About a year ago, I was sent to another city to work. Before I went, she had promised to wait. Over the months, we kept in contact over the phone. She still seemed sincere and benign, never telling me her habits that I already knew.
About a month ago, I came back from the other city. I didn't tell her I came. When I enquired about her, I learnt she had given birth to a child a few months back and she is now a single parent. Her lover had dumped her.
My question is this. What do you think I should do? Should I now go after her? Please don't tell me if I love her, I should still go after her. I really feel it is very different this time. Anyway, she had not been honest. She didn't wait for me.
Did I do the right thing being cautious earlier?
She was not sexually abused. She had a relationship after I left.
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...
2007-09-14 12:41:12 · 12 answers · asked by Street Smart 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Au0fUNLX5TMZxT3sdghys3bty6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20060612023412AABWcAE
2007-09-14 12:58:06 · update #1
Do you think I should just call her up?
2007-09-15 16:07:26 · update #2
????? What do I do now? Every day is a different day. Yesterday one problem. Today another.......I can't believe things changed so dramatically. I now feel so cheated, so left out.............
And to think I have a major project at hand with my company................
2007-09-15 16:15:58 · update #3
No the baby isn't mine.
I slowed down our friendship because of what I found out. I also never lay my hands on her. I am not into this.
The most intimate act I have ever done was to put my arm around her shoulder. And that was before I found out about her other life.
Since then, we went out, perhaps playing in the beach.... that is about all.
2007-09-16 08:18:52 · update #4
If she isn't honest, then there might be a good chance that she might do it again. She might run away from your family and leave her children with you. It's a good thing that you don't have anything to do with her.
2007-09-14 12:47:40 · answer #1 · answered by cat_heros@sbcglobal.net 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Hate to break this to you, but she isn't your girlfriend and never was. You did the right thing by moving slow, she obviously has another life she didn't feel the need to share with you.
So leave her alone. She's a mom now, and she doesn't need the headache.
And by the way, quit listening to gossip. If you want to know something, ask. You could have saved yourself a lot of wasted time.
She didn't lie. I think you just misunderstood the relationship. You didn't know she had a child for goodness sake. How close could you have been?
2007-09-22 11:47:50 · answer #2 · answered by Mystic 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
The answer is obvious. Leave her. She is NOT for you.
On one hand, she can promised to wait. And the next, she can do the unspeakable.
Seems like a loose girl to me. Perhaps you should have not even be with her in the first place.
No. She is not for you. It is better you move on. Living with her is living a life of uncertainty.
You are lucky you did the right thing being cautious earlier. Just treat this as a baptism of fire.
2007-09-17 15:21:23 · answer #3 · answered by JustAsking 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I think you should leave her alone,she has lied,cheated and deiceived you every chance that she could.You dont HAVE to be her fool anymore.She concieved that baby while you to were still a couple.She AGREED to wait and didnt.Your hands are clean.YOu are not responsible for her or that baby in NO WAY.If you continue to mess around with this girl in ANY way,she is going to CONTINUE to mess you up,emotionally and mentally.She is TOO loose.
2007-09-22 00:10:52 · answer #4 · answered by luv11syng 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Do Not pursue her - she is trouble. She gives you her word, and as soon as your back is turned, she goes with other men so she cannot be trusted. I urge you to forget her completely and move on and find someone who will remain true to you.
If you continue to pursue her, she will merely walk all over you and have no respect for you. She will never be able to be completely true to you and when she does have another child, then you may wonder if that child is truly yours. You don't need her and her drama and all the problems that she brings with her. Move on, please.
2007-09-15 05:22:42 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
HELLO,
WELL 1ST OFF I WOULD HAVE LIKED TO SEE THE QUESTION U ASKED LAST YEAR; BUT ALAS, THAT IS NOT POSSIBLE. SO................ FROM WHAT I GATHER THIS TIME AROUND (AND U DID LEAVE OUT QUITE A BIT OF DETAIL) MY OPINION IS...................NO WAY IN HELL SHOULD U GO AFTER HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IN MY MIND (AND THIS IS JUST ME; CALL ME TWISTED I DON'T CARE) I COULDN'T FATHOM GOING AFTER HER, KNOWING WHAT I KNOW!) IT WOULDN'T EVEN BE AN OPTION!
HELL NO!!!!!!!!!! U DON'T BETRAY ME, LIE TO ME, CHEAT ON ME AND REALLY EXPECT ME TO EVEN CONTEMPLATE RETURNING TO U!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I SAY AGAIN, NOT EVEN AN OPTION!!!!!!! OF COURSE, OTHERS WOULD SAY: IF U REALLY LOVE HER......... I SAY BULLSH*T!!!!!!!!!!
EVEN IF U DO REALLY LOVE HER, U CAN'T GO BACK, UNLESS OF COURSE, YOU'RE UP 2 LEADING A MISERABLE EXISTENCE 4 THE REST OF UR LIFE!!!!!!!! SO GOOD 4 U THAT SO FAR U HAVE BEEN STRONG AND NOT GONE BACK!!!!!! I MEAN COME ON, SO MANY DAMN WOMEN OUT THERE!!!!!!!!! GOOD WOMEN, U GET YOURSELF A GOOD ONE, TRUST ME, THEY DO EXIST. U JUST TAKE UR TIME AND CHOOSE WISELY.
WELL, I WISH U LUCK AND LOVE SWEETIE; U TAKE CARE AND DON'T LOSE FAITH. SHE'S OUT THERE, WAITING 4 U 2 FIND HER.
2007-09-15 05:09:25 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
If you found out through someone else that she had a child, she's obviously not very interested in you. Is there any chance that the baby is yours? If there is, you might want to find out for sure. Otherwise, you're better off having nothing to do with her.
2007-09-16 00:56:29 · answer #7 · answered by Gabby_Gabby_Purrsalot 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You did the right thing being cautious earlier.
Leave her now to protect yourself.
2007-09-20 01:38:12 · answer #8 · answered by seal77 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
sorry, but from experience. if they lie to you and keep things from you. they will always tend to do that. if not, she should have told you about it, even later. but it sounds as if she did not. I would not trust her, ever.
for if you stay with her, she will only hurt you again.
2007-09-22 11:19:57 · answer #9 · answered by ? 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
yes u did do the rite thing cause if i had a boyfriend who cheated on me i would whoop his ***
2007-09-22 02:04:49 · answer #10 · answered by xXxDa.Lady.GxXx 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋