what if my ob doesnt deliver my son.......?

Question

ok so my ob is a women and mainly because my husband is ONLY comforatble with a women delivering our son but i just found out that if she isnt on call that a man will deliver my son but my husband says no there has to be some way around it!! what other possiblities or advice can you give and i know my husband is being childish but he feels very strong about it so please no ignorant answers.....
thanks

Answer 1

you have a couple of options. consult with your dr about being induced close to your due date to insure she will be able to deliver. explain the situation about your husband. she may agree to it.

or when you check in the hospital, find out if there is someone who is a female that can deliver because both you and your husband would be more comfortable. more than likely they will TRY to accomodate you.

if a man has to deliver you, usually the nurses do most of the work anyhow..he's just there to catch. he's a professional and is only thinking about making sure you and your baby both have a healthy delivery. nothing sexual behind it.

Answer 2

Your two most obvious options are induction and c-section. But, both of those come with risks. Especially if baby isn't ready. And boys are more likely to have slower lung development. So even at the "full term" mark, baby boys could have underdeveloped lungs. (I don't know why, just medical fact that boys lungs develop slower)

The other thing to do is to talk to your husband. Maybe if you can figure out WHY he is uncomfortable with a male ob, then you can produce alternatives. Perhaps see if you and he can meet the other ob's in the practice. Also you can see if there is a nurse midwife or nurse practicioner in the practice that may be on call in the hospital.

For the record (for your hubby!) my husband is a 4th year medical student and we have had 3 babies with one on the way. OB's really can separate intimacy from their job. Just the way that family practice, surgeons, and other specialties do. I have only had male ob's and never has one been inappropriate. I was uncomfortable with one, but was easily able to switch to a different doctor in the practice with no difficulty. My husband has never seen an inappropriate ob in his training either.

I hope you two can figure out a compromise!

Answer 3

The paramount concern should be that you get the best care and not the gender of the doctor. If a man is there to deliver a baby (a very dangerous proposition in the first place) and nothing goes wrong, your husband should give that male doctor a big hug and by him a drink. Is it jealousy because, trust me, there's nothing less attractive than childbirth. Not a single thing that's less of a turn on. Maybe watching some of those child birth shows will help your husband?

Answer 4

I definitely don't recommend induction. Induction makes labor more painful and is not as safe for you and the baby. Other than that, though, there is no way to fix your problem except to switch to a practice with only women. Obviously the hospital cannot guarantee you the female doctor. I think the real focus should be working on your husband, though, not changing doctors. A normal doctor does not look at the bodies of his patients in any sexual manner... not to be crass or anything, but your v***** is just the same as any other woman's to a doctor, male or female. Your husband needs to deal with his feelings about this because as long as you are comfortable with a male doctor, there doesn't seem to be any reason for him to mind enough to cause a problem.

Answer 5

Tell your husband he can no longer be the child. He needs to grow up. Inlist the aid of his mother, your mother or any female he trusts. Chances are that any of those women whom have given birth were attended by a male GYN. Or you could just play ignorant and when the time comes if it is a male who delivers you then, oh well, too late.
What is he afraid of anyway? A male seeing you in a state of undress? Believeme they are not focused on sex during a delivery. He really does need to grow up!

Answer 6

Not trying to be offensive, but your husband needs to grow up. I could understand if you were more comfortable with a woman and your husband felt so strongly because he wants you to be ok. But if he has these feelings just because he doesn't want a man looking at your privates, he can get over it. They see so many vagina's, there is nothing special about yours. Don't worry as long as your baby is born healthy, it doesn't matter how he's delivered.

Answer 7

I am sure there is a way around this, certain religions will not allow a man to attend a birth. You should contact the hospital and see if it is possible that an OB or midwife that is not part of your OBs practice can attend the birth.

Your other option is to transfer to midwifery care, if available. There are male midwives but not very many.

Answer 8

unless you get a back up doc or midwife you don't have a lot of options. I'm sorry but your husband needs to deal with the fact that doctors are professionals and someone has to deliver the baby. Getting a back up or midwife if you are in the 3rd trimester may be hard to do.

Answer 9

The only guarantee you have is to get induced. i was very upset that my ob wasn't able to deliver my first born. he was a man but i was just upset by it because i had been going to him the whole 9 months but then he was on vacation when i went into labor so someone else had to do it. the nurses had everything ready to go and when he finally got there he literally just came in, had me push the baby out, handed everything over to the nurses and left! i still don't even know his name!

Answer 10

Talk to your dr about a referral to a nurse practioner/midwife. It may cost more than using the regular on-call, since you would need to see her beforehand whether or not you end up using her, but it could give your husband some peace of mind. Maybe the midwife could do the delivery with the on call dr there in case of complications.