How can I get up the confidence to get up and get out??

Question

I have about 70% of social anxiety, so this is hard. I really want the confidence to get up and get out. I want to be able to open up and not be so afraid that I put thoughts of embarrassment and rejection into my imagination.

We're having a party soon with a group of about 100-200 people and I'm being too shy to get up on the dance floor! I really want to get up so I can finally have some fun. Can anyone help me?

Answer 1

Try to be more confident and find YOU ARE HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT YOURSELF! Loving and accepting ourselves is THE MOST CRITICAL FACTOR in experiencing joy,happiness, and success in life. When you really love yourself and you really love other people, you find that life is really an incredible journey where things flow, and no matter what happens you always find a way to enjoy yourself and you feel fulfilled. You MUST love yourself completely.
This determines your STANDARDS for what you are willing to accept or settle for. It determines how well you treat your body and your health, how much money you feel you deserve to earn or feel you can make, your belief in whether you can achieve your goals, how much others RESPECT you and how they treat you, and even whether people like you and want to be around you. People love being around confident people. You see, confident people do not feel the need to judge you or tear you down in order to elevate their own self-worth. They radiate a positive energy. You feel safe around them. You need to consistently and confidently take action to move towards your goals, and towards your ultimate destiny. People who lack in confidence often get ‘stuck’. So you see, your entire DESTINY is shaped by your degree of confidence. True self-confidence comes from an absolute sense of certainty deep within, that you are able to handle anything life throws your way. Truly confident people exude calm, control, power, certainty. They care about people, and they make people feel good when they are around them.They never brag – after all, actions speak louder than words. People who brag are just masking their insecurities. People have varying degrees of confidence depending on what activity they are performing. For example, someone might be totally confident in performing a piano concert, or driving a car, but feel totally inadequate at a new job they’ve started, or at flirting with members of the opposite sex. People with Total Self-Confidence, though, have complete belief in themselves. They never ask themselves “Can I really do this? What if this doesn’t work out? Am I good enough to pull it off?” They know that if they really want something, and they are committed to getting it, it will happen. They know that it’s just a question of time until they’ve mastered the skills and knowledge to make whatever they want a reality

Answer 2

I think that you truly realize that these thoughts are your own and noone elses. That is the first step. The next step is knowing that your right. Just get out there and do it. Why dont you go to a couple nightclubs before this party and practice. It might help with the anxiety level decreasing a bit. I would also suggest a few drinks. Don't get stupid drunk, but alcohol definetly helps in this situation. If your not a drinker than maybe go get a full body massage earlier that day. It will relax you and if you can handle being naked in front of a stranger the dancing should be no problem.

I think the most important thing is practice, the more you cut loose, the more your realize that peple really don't care. And even if they do, you shouldn't. Just have fun man.

Good luck.

Answer 3

Remember at a dance, no one is looking at you! everyone is too busy having a good time. The only one that knows you are embarrassed is yourself so try not to give that away. Take a couple of shots or have a cocktail and make your way to the middle of the dance circle. Everyone around you for sure will be dancing and you can start building your confidence there!! People that are standing around watching others dance have the same type of insecurities you do and wish they had the guts to get up and have a good time. Don't be silly,,grab some friends and have fun!

Answer 4

Doom, I have had social anxiety all my life and constantly worry about what other people think of me and that they are judging me negatively. I fear rejection the most. I have seen numerous pyschologists and psychiatrists for at 12 out of the 30 years of my life. That's 18 years! So far, absolutely no luck with anything. You suggested hypnotic or neuro-linguistic therapy. I have always been skeptical about hypnosis and plus I can't relax enough to fall under. Never heard of the neuro-therapy. What's that? I want to get rid of a lot of my irrational thoughts like you did. Please help!

Answer 5

Sorry kid, Confidence won't get you out the door.

Confidence comes from experience, and experience comes from the willingness to look like a BIG GIANT FOOL while you are learning.

The thing that will get you out the door, is the same thing keeping you in, and that is FEAR.

You have to decide which you are more afraid of:

Spending a LITTLE TIME looking stupid, like a bird learning to fly?
OR
Spending your WHOLE LIFE looking stupid because you were too afraid to learn?

Ever notice the names of flightless birds like "Chicken, Turkey, Ostrich & Dodo, do not tend to be compliments.

"Social Anxiety" is a BS term thought up by psycologists to justify outragous fees. Fear is very helpful if you point it in the right direction.

So what are you more afraid of? That some insecure inconsiderate jerk is going to make fun of your newbie dancing skill? OR Spending you WHOLE LIFE avoiding anything fun because you aren't smart enough to ignore insecure inconsiderate jerks?

Strange as it may seem, an insult isn't really an insult until you accept it. Next time some moron says something needlessly cruel, don't agree with them! Agreeing with morons is WAY TOO SCAREY!!!!

Smile and sweetly say something like. "You don't need to HELP me feel insecure, I've got that covered. Hey, but thanks for TRYING to help."

Now let's say they respond by calling you an idiot.

Don't agree. Say. "See, I don't need help, but you keep trying. You are such a giver."

Don't accept the smallest bit of hate. Just thank God you don't have the sick desire to keep little birds from flying.

Here's a song for you. I hope you dance.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xIAWY4LLsEw

Answer 6

I know how you feel. I suck at dancing which really really makes me not want to dance.

Think of this, whatever happens, happens. Don't try and worry what other people are thinking of you, everyone is probably thinking the same thing you are. You can apply this to any situation, not just dancing.

Answer 7

Get some (proper) hypnotic or neuro-linguistic therapy. You're half way their by acknowledging the issues, now you just need to deal with them in a practical way. Don't bother with all that 'understanding yourself' rubbish, it could take years, and get yourself sorted out. ou could spend time finding out why you feel like you do, or you could change yourself and lead a fulfilling, unafraid life.