Has your partner ever asked you to look at porn with them. How did you react? Did you like it?
My husband has asked me a couple of times over the 12 years we've been married, but i'd find it embarrasing and uncomfortable with him looking at other women. Experiences/advice would be welcome. Thanks.
2007-09-14 09:25:37 · 75 answers · asked by Catherine1 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Go for it!!! You'd be surprised at how it will turn BOTH of you on. Yes, it's weird at first looking at other women, but you have to focus on the men - then when you and your husband try something new in bed, you have something to think about!! LOL Have fun with it.....it really works!
2007-09-14 09:29:08 · answer #1 · answered by angel 2 · 4⤊ 2⤋
You should never do anything you are uncomfortable doing, whether it's with your husband or not. That being said, maybe you could try a soft core movie, like 9 1/2 weeks or something, watch it and see how you feel. Work your way up. If you find you just can't deal with it tell him no. Wouldn't hurt to try though. Sometimes people just look at porn out of curiousity and because men are more visually sexually stimulated then women most of the time. It's nothing against you.
2007-09-14 09:35:15 · answer #2 · answered by Phoebe Finch 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My wife and I do look at it together occasionally. We definitely enjoy it. However, sex with a real person is so good that, after adequate visual stimulation, we start having sex with each other and pretty much forget that the movie is playing, lol. What you are failing to consider regarding your discomfort with your husband looking at other women is this: a porn movie also contains fit, attractive, and well-endowed men that will most definitely take your mind off of the women he's looking at! I think every married couple, barring those who have religious beliefs that prevent it, should try watching some porn together at least a few times.
2007-09-14 09:42:43 · answer #3 · answered by Happy-2 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you find something that you enjoy (ever read a steamy novel? Some of the stuff on romance shelves is borderline porn, IMHO), try sharing it with your partner to see if it can mutually excite both of you. Maybe then you can try other things and focus more on the "enjoyment factor" instead of the "embarassment factor"?
What I've discovered is that men tend to be more oriented on the visual. They don't care what's really happening, as long as it looks good. I prefer something resembling an actual storyline (beyond "the pizza boy shows up and gets jumped by the bored housewife and after he leaves the plumber shows up and gets jumped by the bored housewife..."), and I think a lot of women are that way, as well. I think there are more movies being made that shade towards the women's modes of attraction (while still having plenty of action for the guys) so that wives can enjoy a dirty movie with their husbands.
2007-09-14 09:31:54 · answer #4 · answered by Nandina (Bunny Slipper Goddess) 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I enjoy it, but it's not for everyone. My advice is to try it once. The old expression, 'Don't knock it until you try it' can come into play here. And since he's asked you, but not hounded you, I'd be more willing to try. Do it with an open mind, he's not looking at other women, but getting off on watching something sexual. It's a turn on. So I say do a shot of Vodka (or whatever your vice is) and have a fun night. ;) This could possibly open a whole new door for you two. Or you could hate it and in that case, just don't do it again. :) Good luck.
2007-09-14 09:32:53 · answer #5 · answered by Quizzical 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a woman who is pretty open and comfortable with my sexuality. I don't have issues watching porn, but I know there are many women who do. My suggestion to you is to open yourself up to the experience if that is something that will please your husband. Talk about it beforehand and let him know any concerns you may be having so he can make the experience a good one for you. As with anything sexual, a willingness to try new things may lead you to discover something you may have never thought you would enjoy. If you do this, and honestly do not enjoy it, let your husband know. If he's a good man, he won't be satisfied doing something that you gain no enjoyment from. But, if he does enjoy watching porn, and you don't, the compromise might be to ask him to watch it when he's alone.
Happy exploring.
2007-09-14 09:35:28 · answer #6 · answered by Doriayn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your husband is trying to share this with you, I think you should do it. You see there should be nothing embarrassing about this since this is your partner of 12 years. It's always good to know why your husbands sees it. Maybe it's to learn new things besides remember that men always look even at women even on the street, the only difference is that in the porn they are naked. But if your husband is still going to see this, it's better if you join him.
I felt the same way as you did when my husband asked me to see a porn together. Now I like it when we watch together. I feel like this is not about the girls on the film it's about my husband and I sharing this together.
good luck
2007-09-14 09:36:57 · answer #7 · answered by sweetsarah 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
If you haven't done it before, then I would go ahead and try it.
I watched it a lot when I was single, and now it disgusts me, but if this is your first time, I'd go for it. It isn't just that he would be looking at other women..You'd be looking too...at the women or men or both.
But don't let HIM pick out the movies by himself. You should have a say in what you'd like to see. There is a huge variety out there. Watching a movie, just because that is what HE wants, will never leave you feeling happy in the end.
I really don't believe in using porn to boost a relationship, but it is something fun to do once...(or more, if it ends up working for you.)
2007-09-14 09:32:51 · answer #8 · answered by gg 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It all depends on whether you are comfortable enough with yourself and your body and sex life, to use porn as an added "extra". I watch porn, used to watch with my ex's, now on my own but i still watch it. I think it adds to the sex life, the people arent "real" in the sense that you arent taking part in a threesome, it is fantasy. I also used to look at my ex's "lad mags", not for the women as such (i am not bi), but i used to love reading the stories and the letters page. You have to get into the mindset of "he isnt looking at other "real" women, who live down the road or whatever" - its just like watching a tv programme or film, and you spot an actor you fancy, well, thats the same with porn, its pure fantasy. Why dont you try watching a bit of one on your own (when hubby is out), and see how you feel. Dont think of it as "another woman", think of it as fantasy, and you may start to feel more comfortable with it. I used to get brilliant ideas for spicing up the sex life just by watching porn films. We didnt watch porn every time we had sex, it was kept for every now and then, when we wanted something different.
2007-09-14 21:47:57 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with some of the other responses - try it and see if it really does make you uncomfortable. Make sure you and your husband are touching and engaging in behaviors of your own at the same time. It's okay to be nervous - you can laugh about it or make comments about how fake it is. But give it 10 minutes or so - if you really don't want to continue, then tell your husband you'd like to stop. You might be surprised!
2007-09-14 09:34:40 · answer #10 · answered by Sarah 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, I've never been asked. I think I would have been uncomfortable looking at porn with someone else, although I do look at it on my own sometimes. But it's hard to say, perhaps it could be fun. My husband would never do it, tho - I think he would be WAY more uncomfortable about it than I am.
2007-09-14 09:43:36 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋