I currently have a 3 year old and an 18 month old. I am also 6 months pregnant. Last night I face-to-face caught my fiance cheating on me with a stripper. Any words of advice on how to deal with all this emotional pain of being a single mom of 3 by myself and dealing with what he did to me? I'm not getting back with the guy. I can't put up with this!!! Please help me!!!
2007-09-14 09:02:18 · 20 answers · asked by ekj6585 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Get a good support system and surround your self with positive people!
2007-09-14 09:14:30 · answer #1 · answered by RT 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Woooaaaahhhh woooaaah woooaaah......slow your horses....
Just take a few deep breaths and calm yourself.
You are pregnant and you have two young children, this is too much drama to deal with right now.
I am very sorry that your fiance made such a poor choice in behavior. I don't know exactly what you mean by "cheated" on you, if he was having sex or just getting a lap dance or whatever.....
But, no matter. If this is a pattern of behavior, then this should certainly give you reason to think about if you want to be done with him or not...but if he is remorseful for hurting you, I would consider allowing him to stay and try to make things better.
This might even be a good time for the two of you to go to counseling. You are going to need some major help over the next couple months and if you can work it out with him, then do it. Your body, your life cannot handle such a devastating experience...if you can't work things out then later, at a time when youa re less vulnerable...you can consider parting ways...
In the end, what I am trying to say is that relationships can survive infidelity...not always...but when it is clearly better to stay together, it is always a good idea to try.
2007-09-14 09:19:41 · answer #2 · answered by joellemoe 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Well, girlfriend, this is the beginning of a long rough road for you. First off, you have to find your own way of getting through the hurt you're feeling, it's the beginning of the healing stage. Once you can do that, you need to put all your focus on you and your children. They will need your love and comfort to get them through this. Hopefully you will have family to help you, but if you don't, there are still ways to do it. Put all your effort into finding help to support you while you are pregnant. There are goverment aid and organizations that can help. I was lucky and had family to help me and my 3 kids, and it's not going to be easy but you can do it. Just don't even think of taking the LOW LIFE you called a fiance back cause if he's willing to do this to you before you are married, just think what your future would have been like afterwards. Just thank God and your lucky stars that he showed his true colors before the I Do's. You will find someone who will love and appreciate you and your kids, before you know it. One other tip, document his behavoir for future squabbles cause he may demand to have joint custody of the kids and you might need to use it. Better safe than sorry!! The best to you and your new venture, and the birth of your child. May you all be happy and healthy in your life ahead. What else is there?
2007-09-14 09:34:25 · answer #3 · answered by Needtoknow 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand how you feel! When men lower themselves to gutter garbage you should never tollerate any excuse for it. They know that when they are doing things like this it is wrong and hurtfull to the women that love them. No woman wants someone they care for in a room full of naked women let alone grinding on their lap imitating a sexual act on them. These women have no class or respect for themselves and neither does a man that crosses the line being in there with them in the first place! I don't blame you for being mad as hell...I would feel that if a man I cared for could do that he has it in him to go pay for a whore in a whorehouse. Strippers are 1 step down from prostitution in that its an exchange of money for a sexual favor. When men believe and think that it is normal it tells you everything about their morals and respect for women! But most of all what he feels about you the woman carring his baby and dragging her self esteem through the dirt! This is not the way a man shows his love in his heart for the woman he is married to or about to be married to and thats the bottom line!!
2007-09-14 09:58:58 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Aw sweetie, I am sooo sorry, that is awful and I know right now you can't imagine it but I promise you that you WILL get through this. I was divorced with 3 kids for seven years (vowed never to marry again) and then I did and after 8wks he left because I was 6wks pregnant and I wouldn't have an abortion. Here I was alone with 3kids and one on the way and I thought I would never be able to do it all, but you know what? I did and I did it GREAT!! So can you, my baby is now 16months and yea I still have a lot of emmotional scars for sure but we are all healthy, happy and safe! Daddy is not in my son's life, but that's okay too. Just remember....what he did to you is what makes him trash...not you!
2007-09-14 09:14:56 · answer #5 · answered by LilSunbeam 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're query is not certain sufficient. We have to realize why you believe this manner, what elements give a contribution to this ect ect You would be behaving/considering irrationally otherwise you would be fully correct. No one is aware of until you put up a few extra element. One factor i can point out is that individuals on the whole venture onto others, you probably have cheated then you definately suspect your accomplice of it (no longer announcing you've, simply announcing on the whole) You're pregnant which on the whole way you're going to think extra insecure and emotional - attempt to maintain that during brain. Lastly if you happen to should not have prime self-worth and do not significance your self very a lot then its extra ordinary that you are going to suspect others of dishonest on you. (if you are no longer watching your high-quality now then its natural that you are going to begin to doubt your self ect ect)
2016-09-05 14:22:09 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I'm really sorry this happened to you, especially at a time like this. I'm also glad that you have decided to not stay with him. Try leaning on people you can trust (e.g. friends, family) for support. Also, you may want to consider counseling. I'm not saying that the pain will go away, but I think that having a good support system would help.
Best wishes!:)
2007-09-14 09:09:06 · answer #7 · answered by tangerine 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ew...yuck....quite a health hazard for you.
Wow...he should be home helping you take care of the kids. I am glad you found a way to catch him.
It sounds like you have had some problems before...you sound very decisive, and that happens only after you are SURE. Good for you.
There are men who don't have sexual addictions out there, who are happy marrying a woman with kids.
Sue the bleepity BLEEP out of him. I hope you got photos of the deed.
2007-09-14 09:16:41 · answer #8 · answered by gg 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to get through this....you have 2 children and one on the way that will need their mother.. At least you found out that your ex fiance is a cheater before you married him. You are strong...you can do this...think of your beautiful children that love you unconditionally and that will give you the strength to move on and get though the pain you are having now.
2007-09-14 09:13:20 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Glad you found out he was a loser before you married him.
Sorry, but I have nothing nice to say about him so I will say this to you....
There are lots of people in your situation, and there IS HELP... contact a local womens shelter and see if they have a list ... our area has FIRST CALL FOR HELP.... and can help you get emergency money to help pay rent, utilities and other things until you can get some other type of support.
GOOD LUCK TO YOU...
HUGS
2007-09-14 09:10:30 · answer #10 · answered by waywildcherri 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋