am I being a *****?

Question

my friend asked me to lend her £100 last thurs until monday. As I only had £100 I said no but I can lend you £60, as long as it's just until monday because I have no money. On monday I reminded her of it and she said she was at the doctors and really sick. Then she got sent to hospital with a kidney infection. I told her I had no money and really needed that money asap but as she was in hospital I would sub myself until friday until she got out (risking my job doing that byt he way but had no choice) on thurs(yesterday) said I don 't wanna be a ***** and I know you are in hospital (went up to see her twice,took her clothes from my wardrobe, soap etc would have gone more but had no flippin money) but I have NO money, not a penny, please as soon as you are able can you pay me back. she said yeah I will. Today text her this morning asking her how she was etc. No reply. Text her again asking when she was out, no reply. Text her again and she finally replied that she would put it in my bank

if I sent her my bank details, this was after six so I said how you guna do that the banks are shut, and she went well I have just got outta hospital I am not bringing it to you now. She lives ten miles away, and was picked up by her father fromm a hospital not five mintues from my home and work and yes, several banks.Not only that but she got picked up at 11am, knew I had no money, and I have a four year old daughter. I got mad and said if you are a selfish cow. Am I being wrong?

it's a kidney infection! not a heart transplant, she was fine, I saw her! She was only being kept in because her white blood cell count was really high or something.

Answer 1

No , she should have paid up when she said she would.

She didn't keep her word.

Take this as a lesson to:

1- Never lend money that you need yourself.
2- Never lend her money EVER again!

Next time she asks, tell her : I'm broke too, that's it.

Answer 2

Well.....I don't think u might be a *****. You're just annoyed.
But before passing any judgement on yr friend or yourself, I'd recommend talking openly about the situation.

I mean.....

1. Did you talk to the doctor about what she has? Some problems are way more serious than we what let people see.

2. Maybe she's also going through some hard time, not being able to pay you back. I'd say, instead of asking WHEN?? I would ask "hey.....are things OK? so you can find out a bit more.

3. If after all, she's OK, but has no means to pay you back right away, try to find out why....and decide whether to understand and be supportive (despite yr need) or stand yr ground and insist on getting yr money back.

4. But above all, analyse what u know about her. Is she a good friend? Have u lent her money before, or has you borrowed from her or anyone? Is the money worth risking losing her friendship, if it is a good one? Circumstances can be tough sometimes, but through them we can see who our friends are......maybe she's testing your friendship.....(?)

I'd say, think about these things and put it all in perspective. And above all....think how things would be if tables were turned.....and then decide. But always staying calm and cool.

Hope my babbling helps a bit.....Good luck!

Answer 3

No you are defo not being wrong! She owes you the money so she should give it you back! You were kind enough to lend it her so she should have the decency to give it you back. I was in the same position not so long back, it took me weeks to get it back, i would call/text her everyday and she would just ignore me. I felt like i had to keep chasing her and finally she made up some lame excuse and I've now got it back.
Our friendship is not the same now as i trusted her and she obviously didn't give a sh**. You need to keep pressing her for it back and you will know next time to never lend money out again. xxx

Answer 4

The surest way to get rid of someone is to lend them money.
Don't lend money unless you really want to get rid of it.
I'd also say it is a small price to get rid of that mooch.
Quit giving her things from your wardrobe.

You had no business lending money when you are living that close to a paycheck with a second mouth to feed.

Don't plan on getting the money back.
This girl is a user and probably never had any intention of giving you your money back. Maybe go back some time and ask her for a loan just to get your money back.

Answer 5

No you are not being selfish- it`s a pity your friend was in hospital, but she ought to think herself lucky to have a friend like you--who is prepared to lend money, even when you can`t really spare it yourself. It should have been her first priority to repay you--borrowing the money from someone else if needs be. She is abusing your friendship, and in my opinion i think you would be better off without her (once you get your money back) good luck!

Answer 6

Lending money to friends can often be difficult.You are not wrong to be a bit mad about this,but perhaps there is fault on both sides, she shouldn't have put you in this position-but if you couldn't afford it easily,maybe you should have just said no I'm sorry.

Answer 7

you are not being a ***** you are right if she was that much of a friend she would have arranged someone to sort out the money for you.
just because she was in hospital doesn't mean she can take the mick.

don't beat yourself up about it Hun she is being childish now by ignoring you

in future you no not lend her any money any more .

Answer 8

Not happy with the terminlogy you used towards her but you have been unfairly used. It is wise never to lend money unless you can afford to lose it....often you lose friends as well as cash.

I hope you get it back sooon (and can rebuild the friendship)

Answer 9

i would say that its a rasonable excuse beig in hospital, and asking for it when she is in there and has no way of getting it is harsh, however, she borrowed the money when you had none and promisd it to you, i'm sure she could have arranged something.

i would say your in the right but maybe being a little harsh

Answer 10

ur not a ***** at all if u hadnt gave her the money she would be treatin u the same way i would get the money back off her then tell 2 go 2 f**k