I am at the beginning of a divorce and have no intentions of dating anytime soon. However, my grandmother (who divorced at 25 with two kids and never re-married) keeps telling me to get used to the idea of being a single mom forever. She insists that "no one will want a divorced mother of three". I will be 24 in December and my children are 4, 2, and I am due in a few weeks with my third. I am a strong Christian woman and I am dedicated to my family. Howvever, my soon to be ex has had 5 affairs and says he doesn't love me and doesn't want me. Being completely honest.... are there men out there who are willing to accept an amazing woman who comes with three wonderful children?
My soon to be ex will pick up another chick ASAP without a problem. That's what is really screwed up about this whole thing. He'll move on with single life and the kids and I will be left to suffer the consequences.
2007-09-14 08:16:59 · 35 answers · asked by mrs michelle 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Why not...Some men like me are in the same boat as you, but with two kids...I feel the same way sometimes.
2007-09-14 08:25:26 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 6⤊ 0⤋
There could be that man for you but it will be
difficult to find as although you are young , you
already have two and the third pretty soon. It will
take a real man to accept you and your other
parts and since you started making so many kids
at a young age a man will probably look some-
where else before he gets involved in a relation-
ship with you. So many women at a young age
start making a big family, then starts wondering
if she can find a man afterwards, it should be the
other way around.
2007-09-14 16:01:25 · answer #2 · answered by RudiA 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're not even divorced yet and have a little one on the way, I think you are worrying way to far ahead about finding someone else. If you're a christian that you know everything happens in God's time. And you may not be married by you are far from single with 3 little ones. And if he chooses not to see his kids that's his problem and you'll have to manage that, but with them so young the answers will be easy. With a new baby on the way, just stay focused on the kids. A divorce and new baby is about all they can handle right now.
2007-09-14 08:34:02 · answer #3 · answered by Shel 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do not worry by the time u are ready and have time to date you will find somebody. Do not forget that you are only 24 yrs old. Next few years will be consumed by you trying to raise and care for your children. So when you hit 30 the best years of you life are going to start and you will have kids in school and some time for your self.
So do not waste time now thinking if someone will want u, when u are ready and willing do not worry there are plenty of fish in this big ocean.
2007-09-14 08:36:23 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You just suddenty realized after the 5th affair what a loser he is and you haven't even popped out the 3rd kid yet?
Your ability to judge character is ridiculously poor.
Stop hanging around losers and picking rebuilding projects to fall for.
So you let the loser have his way with you to the tune of 3 kids, suddenly realized what a jerk he is, and now you want someone else to come along and pay all the bills for the next 30 years, while Captain Asshole is still in your life with visitation and dodging child support and all that?
Yeah that is a mighty tall order.
this *has* to be a troll.
Stop focusing on being a "strong Christian" and start focusing on being a "sensible grownup."
2007-09-14 08:31:54 · answer #5 · answered by filthy_crumb 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl don't sweat it. My thing is, men should be the last on your mind right now. Focus on you and your kids. Make sure you and your kids are allright . Then you can worry about your love life. Your preganant and don't need to be stressed out. If you're a Christian then you should know that if you wait then GOD will send someone right for you. With those kids and being young you want to meet someone who looks at you like she has it going on and can take care of hers. Now if you one of those momma's that club all the time and don't care then you get what you ask for. If you go out there searching, you might end up with a deadbeat. It's never to late to find someone right for you. But right now your #1 priority is your kids. Get it together!!!!
As for your ex, oh well, he may find someone else but:
There not like you
Can't do the things you do
An he probably ends up with some disease
So move on.
2007-09-14 08:30:18 · answer #6 · answered by sweetcheeks 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont punish yourself by being so hard on yourself because your husband made some very stupid choices.
The right man will have no problem accepting you for who you are. And dont take me saying the right man the wrong way, But you want to find a man who will except you and your children.
Live life for you and your children. Enjoy it, live it to the fulliest, and give your children every opportunity possible. Live your life to make you and your children happy. Show your children all the love possible. I know this is hard on them too, or will be when they get older. He will be the one that has to live with the guilt and regret for the rest of his life that he broke his marriage and family apart not you. I wish you a life time of happiness
2007-09-14 08:57:25 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are plenty of guys who (like me) don't care about meeting a woman with kids from a previous relationship. The only thing that would be a "dealbreaker" would be to still have feelings and more for the ex after I showed up on the scene. Other than that, kids are pretty much awesome whether they are mine or from someone else.
I'm sure I'm not in the minority.
2007-09-14 08:52:28 · answer #8 · answered by Avatar 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You bet there are men out there that will accept and love a single mother with 3 children. I was a single mother of 2 children and had given up on finding someone who was really going to want to settle down with me and create a family. I had my fair share of a**holes, but I finally met someone who loved me and my children. We are now married and have a third child in common. He has adopted my daughter, and is trying to adopt my son. There really are men out there who are wonderful enough to accept and love someone with children. Just take some time for yourself and your children to adjust to your new lives, and when you least expect it the right man for you will come along. Best of luck.
2007-09-14 08:51:38 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all mmy heart goes out to you are 23 years old with three children and your husband wants no part of you, just because you have three kids doesnt meant that you will spend the rest of your life alone, although you are christian woman has nothing to do with being strong dont confuse the two, your husband will move on free with out the worrie of rasing these kids but he will have to support them thats why it is so important before you get married to make sure this is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with.
best of luck
2007-09-14 13:34:43 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
To be honest - it is probably better for your kid to see that bad behavior to your spouse means losing your family.
I would really spend your time focusing on the needs of your children until they are out of the house. Not that no one will take you - but crappy men (like your soon to be ex) look for weak women - and a single woman with three kids worried about whether anyone will ever want her doesn't scream strength.
Your kids really need you now - worry about dating when your kids don't need a mommy who is focused on raising them.
2007-09-14 08:34:05 · answer #11 · answered by Professional in FL 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋