she used to text him all the time and delete it or tell me that she didn't do it until i get the bill and see that she did and created a new hotmail account that she never said anything about. she cuts hair and he is her client and so is his wife but she says because of the problems that were having that she needs someone to talk to and he is nothing more than a friend. they actually went to the movies together after she got off of work and she said she was going to the park to "think". i love her but im torn on what to do because we have 2 kids together. can someone please help
2007-09-14 07:19:34 · 22 answers · asked by ray a 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This sounds all too familiar to me. I had cell phone bills every month with some other girls name on two pages, front and back. My husband said they were just friends, but when it got to the point that her son thought my son was his brother, it bothered me quite a bit. When I confronted him about it he explained to me that he was having a lot of inappropriate feelings for her and he thought he loved her. There was no physical contact (at least that's what he's stuck to all these years) and after entering into marriage counseling I learned that this is called an emotional affair. They are really dangerous for marriages because they can lead to physical affairs and may be more hurtful then a physical affair alone. It is really hard to know that your spouse has given their heart and soul to someone else. I feel for you. I really do. It would be wise to truly confront her, or even to get ahold of her phone before she deleted her accounts to see what he was really saying. Let her know its him or you. Standing by your husband should be more important then having to change your job. Good luck.
2007-09-14 07:37:00 · answer #1 · answered by misty h 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Look you need to sit down and have a serious talk to her you need to let her know that you are hurt and suspicious and not , trusting her any longer your love is based on trust and that she has not been honest first she your best friend and that there no need to lied or hide any thing 2 is there a problem in the marriage and do we need to seek counseling of some kind to work this out and could she agree to stop seeing this individual until you both come to the conclusion in what you need to do in his relationship is extremely important that you seek out counseling for the situation as soon as possible if she not willing to talk to get help then I think you got your answer there no need to figth about it its pretty cut and dry to me then all you have to do after that is work out a reasonable agreement between the two of you about your children placed on paper presented to an attorney or a child support court separate workout reasonable child support and visitation program and move on there is no need to figth yell make threats become frustrated because the bottom line is she is done with you at that point and you will find someone else that is why i'm encouraging you to immediately seek counseling before the situation gets way out of hand DONT WAIT you also have to remember she mother of your children she your best friend and your not going to get anyhere trying to hurt her or get back at her talk at her like she your friend and see here that gets you and for the love of God man listen to her no matter how much you like to yell stay calm and listen you cant fix it if you get mad and yell and dont listen Good luck to you
2007-09-14 08:09:21 · answer #2 · answered by George M G 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no reason to hide anything from your spouse unless it's a surprise party.
Anything she tells her friend, she should have already told you. Anything her friend says should be just fine for you to hear.
If the two of you are having problems, then she should be talking to YOU. Then perhaps get a reality check from a friend. If friends are true friends, then they will want to see your marriage blossom and be healthy for your two children. Why would anyone delete that?
I'm not going to say that she's cheating but if you're feelings are saying something is wrong, SOMETHING is WRONG.
Determine what it is that you want. Consult with your wife. Negotiate. Come up with something that works. Build on it.
Good luck.
2007-09-14 07:43:09 · answer #3 · answered by Vitiran 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your wife is doing some emotional cheating if she hasn't already done it physically with this man. What she is doing is not ok and is not acceptable. I suggest you take control of your family or some other man will do it for you. I would put my foot down about going out and talking with this man. He is married too and is so wrong on so many levels it isn't funny. You then need to do whatever it is to make your wife happier. Ask her what it is that your relationship is lacking and start working on it. It takes two in this relationship so she needs to do her part too. Marriage is hard work and you can never let up on it. The moment you do is when it can all come crashing down.
People get divorced because they let problems fester and lay there without dealing with them. You need to catch these things before they get out of control. If you are not meeting your sifes emotional needs she will be sure not to meet your physical needs and will go and find her someone that can fullfill these for her and she will in turn fullfill another mans physical needs.
Be a man and take control. Forbid her to do this anymore and that you will work on making your marriage stronger. No one said it would be easy. Don't give up.
2007-09-14 07:46:00 · answer #4 · answered by hsmommy06 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would be very suspicious, to why she would earse the texts and call log and even go to the movies with another man. You may have a lot of trust in yall's relationship but my GOD your husband is your best friend what more friends do you need. Every relationship is different but ill be damned if my husband asked me if he can go to the movies with a girl-friend but that's just me, and vice verse. In my opinion, there are no friends, not that I've been betrayed by friends but i ve heard many stories. So go with whatever gut feeling you have usually its always right. GOOD LUCK
2007-09-14 07:40:22 · answer #5 · answered by love 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Where there is smoke there is fire. She may not have done anything with him physically yet but she is playing a dangerous game. If she is doing wrong then she would not be opposed to letting you see her emails or phone texts. You should ask for a couple date night with you and your wife and he and his wife. Then see how they act around each other, if they are very nervous or both disappear at the same time. Could be an indicator.
2007-09-14 07:27:35 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
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2016-12-26 10:38:00 · answer #7 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nothing good could come of that.
You must assume that he wants to sleep with her. Why? Because the vast majority of straight guys want to sleep with attractive women who give them the opportunity. An opportunity is a woman who spends time with them.
It starts out with "talking" and then he starts filling the gaps that she feels you are not filling. If she thinks you are not being affectionate enough, then his affection will seem like something welcome - something she's always wanted. Feelings will develop, and it will progress.
Bottom line, tell her you are uncomfortable with her seeing another man socially, and that if she needs someone to talk to you would pay for a therapist, or she can talk to a girlfriend.
If she refuses to stop seeing another man, even platonically, then that is a huge problem.
2007-09-14 07:28:51 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think there is something more going on. She has deleted text messages and she got a hotmail account and conveniently forgot to mention that to you. She is hiding something...there would be no reason to hide his calls from you if they are just "friends". She should find a woman friend to talk to....these opposite sex friends can often times cause marital problems.
2007-09-14 07:27:17 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Friend,
my "wife" has a male "friend" that she told me were just friends. Just recently I found out her and the "friend" have been sleeping together and that he loves her. I am guilty of not giving her the attention she requires and co-responsible for a lack of communication, so i guess she found that elsewhere. The funny thing is our 12th wedding anniversary is Saturday and I think she is having a date with her "Friend" . I also have 2 children. Ask yourself how is your communication with your wife? and don't just try to stay together for the kids - they will see the difference. try to communicate as much as possible to find out what you both want.
good luck my friend.
2007-09-14 09:10:54 · answer #10 · answered by effin ken 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋