i got engaged to a guy last month. at that time we dint know about his general conduct as we couldnt find out. now we have come to know tht he is too bad guy. he is involved in all the types of wrong things, uses bad language, drinks excessively, chain smokers. our marriage date is also finallized....... i m very scared now.......... help me
2007-09-14 07:17:22 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Nothing's final until you've actually married him. So, you tell him the engagement's off, give back the ring or whatever presents he gave you for the engagement, and that's it.
2007-09-14 07:30:17 · answer #1 · answered by SLWrites 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, who is "we?" But in answer to your question, hand him his ring back. Tell him that after thinking it over and seeing what you are faced with, you have decided that you two are not right for each other. Then stay away from him. Problem solved. Just because you are engaged and have set a date, doesn't mean that you are legally obligated to follow through with the marriage. Get out while you can. Good luck.
2007-09-14 14:28:39 · answer #2 · answered by pappysgotitgoinon 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is an alcohol addict and he is spoiled. Marrying him won't change his addictions. Maybe he will never change. He is so messed up, it is sad. He uses bad language, drinks, smokes, etc. He is very negative. If you stay with him, you will end up getting sick, mentally, physically, and emotionally. Toxic relationship/stress= sickness and disease. This is what you will have to accept and expect being married to him. Call of the wedding or cancel the wedding date. Don't marry him and regret it later.
It's not too late to leave him! Other people will agree with me because it's common sense. I hope you make the right decision.
2007-09-14 14:32:17 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
OK I am assuming that this is an arranged marriage.
First, discuss this with your parents and explain that this man misrepresented himself and his character and that he does things that are totally against all your beliefs and upbringing - and that marrying him would be a slap in all they - your parents - believe in and have taught you to believe in.
Then, you and your family need to meet with your religious leader - (Priest, Minister, Imam, etc.) to discuss ending this engagement.
Finally, with you, your family, and your religious leader need to go to the matchmaker and demand your money back for making a bad match. The matchmaker should have known better than to match you with this awful man. You may also need a lawyer to recover your money.
The matchmaker may balk - but you can and should report him/her to the press at large and whatever organization matchmakers belong to as a disreputable matchmaker whose services shouldn't be used - by anyone - ever.
Will this be easy? No. Is it necessary - absolutely if you want to survive to your first anniversary.
Put it this way - by far better to be single and retain your virtue than to be married to an abusive spouse simply because you were too proud to see a mistake for what it is.
You deserve better!
2007-09-14 14:40:25 · answer #4 · answered by Barbara B 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
dump him... so what if the date is finalized... he's a loser... dump him and get a good man =) don't settle for less than you need/want/deserve! =) no reason to be scared, change your phone number if needed unless it's your parents house then just report him calling to the cops... and don't allow him at the house... get a restraining order if he insists on not staying away and if he keeps calling! =) no reason to be scared... if he gets ticked off for you dumping him, so be it! =) keep a friend/relative near you at all times for a month or 2 if you are afraid he will attack you =)
2007-09-14 15:18:05 · answer #5 · answered by elvlayarvvi fEisty wife and mom 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
did you just meet the guy or what? i wouldn't have said yes until i knew i was ready to spend the rest of my life with the man. You should call ever thing off... tell him you're not ready. but please next time be with someone for at least 1 1/2 years (at least)
good luck
2007-09-14 14:32:24 · answer #6 · answered by G~Bell 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him you made a mistake. Nothing is final until the I do's, cancel now.
2007-09-14 14:29:53 · answer #7 · answered by Choqs 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this why you don't get engaged fast! Just say NO and move on Quickly!
2007-09-14 14:30:52 · answer #8 · answered by ken j 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Say goodbye?
Change your number?
Move?
File a restraining order?
2007-09-14 14:24:59 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just kick him to the curb right away when its easier.
2007-09-14 14:27:17 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋