i am 40 weeks pregnant (my baby is due TODAY, though she doesn't seem ready to make her appearance!) and i have been agonizing over who will accompany me in the birth room when i have her. of course, her daddy will be there 100%, but my mother and sister-in-law are insistant on being there too. i am a pretty private person and even having my hubby in there is freaking me out- let alone my nosy, loud and obnoxious mother (love her to death, but she is loud and a crybaby- don't know how i will handle that on my nerves!) i really wanted this to be an intimate personal experience with my hubby- didn't picture my mom staring at my crotch the whole time! i feel so bad, though- i know if i tell her it would break her heart! what should i do?????
2007-09-14 06:43:12 · 20 answers · asked by lilidepot 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
HELL NO!!
You have the person you want there and NOT ANOTHER SOUL!!
Too many people in a labor ward/room isn't a good idea anyway, not from anyone's point of view! Ask your Doc to tell them so if you want.
This is one time you have to be cruel to be kind - you and your baby and her daddy are the people involved. I think that if parents or friends want to wait in the waiting area, they are welcome to do that! My mother did, and occupied herself by writing a birthday card (with the wrong date in!!) for the baby, and phoning everyone she knew to boast. Your family will get over it as soon as they see the baby too!
Were the people who are buggin' you to be there present at the baby's conception? In my view, those who were there when she went in should be the only ones there when she comes out!!
2007-09-14 06:59:31 · answer #1 · answered by Lyric 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I'm going through the exact same thing...although I'm not quite as close to delivery (I'm 35 weeks). My mom is SO insistent on being in the room with me. I don't think I could tell her no though...it would break her heart! I also had dreams of just having my husband in the room with me, because I felt (and still do feel) that it's almost just a private moment that the two people who created the life should share together. BUT, on the other hand, I've had a lot of time to think about this, and I don't think it would hurt to have her in the room with me. She's SO excited about me having this baby and she has never gotten to see any of her grandchildren born. I know it would be a special moment for her. So I've decided to let her in...but no one else! But, if you decide you only want your husband in the room with you, just tell the staff at the hospital. They can always make up a story about not wanting any extra people in the room...it takes the blame off of you AND takes care of your problem. Good luck!
2007-09-14 13:03:48 · answer #2 · answered by Jamester 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just let her know you are a very private person and you only want your husband in there so you can both experience it alone as a couple. That is exactly what I did. I didn't want anyone but my husband in there.
If it hurts their feelings you can go behind their back and tell your doctor a head of time that you don't want them in there for the actual delivery and ask if he/she (your doctor) could ask them to leave before you begin delivering. I am sure your doctor would be happy to do this, many doctors prefer less people in the room.
It shouldn't break her heart. I definately agree with you. She'll get over it, just make sure she can come in right after the baby is cleaned up!!! She will be fine with this and after that beautiful baby is out she won't even be thinking that she wasn't in there for the delivery.
2007-09-14 06:51:58 · answer #3 · answered by Michelle S 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let her know exactly what you said about it being an intimate personal experience for you and your hubby. You might change your mind about her not being in the room, and regret that she's not at the hospital. Well you could let her come into the room until you're about to push. It could be a long time, your husband might want a few breaks to go get something to eat, or if he needs to run home or something. Good luck!
2007-09-14 06:53:08 · answer #4 · answered by Stephanie W 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try telling her nicely that you want no one there but your husband. Tell her you love her, and that it's nothing personal, but you really can't have more than one person around you at that time (and trust me you don't want too many ppl around you, it's crowded enough as it is!). Tell her she's welcome to come meet the baby right after she's born. She may be upset, but she'll forget all about it once she sees the baby.
Or if you want to spare her feelings, do what I did with my mother in law and lie. Tell her the hospital has a policy that you're only allowed one support person in the delivery room. Or just don't phone her when you go into labour, and let her know after the baby's born!
Good luck and congrats she'll be here soon!
2007-09-14 06:56:01 · answer #5 · answered by elainevdb 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When I was having my 1st baby my mother came in to see me and I was in active labor practicing my breathing from I had learn from lamaze, her first words out her mouth where "What are you doing" she said "blowing air...just push take advantage of the contractions" I was like uhhh. Then #2-4 was me and my dh. I suggest you make and have a birthing plan. You want to plan ahead. Be ready by now have your home clean, clothes washed, babies clothes washed in drawers. Go grocery shopping to last a week or two. I suggest to buy Depends they are more absorbent than maxi pads,, have diapers I mean plenty. Set your diaper bag and your clothes(gown, underwear, brush, make up, and slippers) in your car (to go to the hospital), your admitance papers-insurance information, have you tour the hospital?. You do have the right to choice 2 people after give birth then any family members can see you and the new baby after the birth. Oh, I suggest that you eat before you go to the hospital and I mean eat good because you will not be able to eat only thing the hospital can provide for you during labor is ice chips. Drink up...plenty of water and walk more. Good luck.
2007-09-14 07:22:56 · answer #6 · answered by girls1boy4_me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know I feel the same way and I think my mom plans on being in the room. She didnt get to when my sister had her baby 6 months ago because she had a c-section. I know if I tell my mom no, it'll make her feel bad, but I would just feel weird! I guess I'll just wait till Im in the hospital about to give birth before I tell her cause that's the only way I know!
2007-09-14 07:00:42 · answer #7 · answered by Shanna's Mommy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well ultimately its up to you and don't let anyone persuade you otherwise. Your the one going to be doing all the work and you need to be comfortable. I don't think it will good for you and your baby if your worried about your mom and sister-in-law being in the room. I had my baby 2 weeks ago and just had my husband in the room and I couldn't imagine anything else. After the baby was born we got to just spend some alone time as a family before everyone else came in. It was wonderful!
2007-09-14 06:53:31 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
kindly tell them that you have thought about it and you only want your husband to be in the labor room. But tell them that you would like them at the hospital so that they can be some of th first people to meet your daughter. Do NOT let them talk you into something you don't want. If all else fails, tell the nurses that you only want your husband in the room. Labor and Delivery nurses are very good at keeping those in the room in check and making sure the mother's needs supersede anyone else's
2007-09-14 06:53:08 · answer #9 · answered by Lov'n IT! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mom will get over it. You will be going through enough as it is. If you do not feel that you can deal with your mom in the room, then don't put yourself through that. My mom lives out of state but if she were here I wouldn't want her in the room either. This is your day and your experience and your mom should understand.
I know how you feel... My baby was due on Wed. Aren't you just dying to meet her?!? :) Waiting is so hard!
Good luck!
2007-09-14 07:30:35 · answer #10 · answered by Maid of Constant Sorrow 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋