if you going to cheat, why with her?

Question

now if i am going to cheat on my husband, i am going to pick a person that is ten times better than him.

so, like many of you, just have to know who and what this other woman is about. i started asking him and damn near harassing him to give me information about this chick. i know he could say any thing to shut me up.

i asked how is her hair, he says she wears a weave. my "real" hair goes to the middle of my back. i asked was she fat or skinny, well in that department she got me beat by a few pounds, so i am like whatever. then i asked what does she do for a living, he says she is a dental hygenist (so now he's messing with a broke, bald headed hoe).

i am like dude, why would you get someone that doesn't even compare to me. you know what this fool says "because she listens to me and give me good conversation." wtf is that. i listen to his dumb @$$ all the time and his conversations about what, he ain't even talking about nothing.

why do i even bother?

look at all the men attacking me because i think i am better than her.
all i am saying, if you cheat on someone it is because you want better than what you have. you don't go down.

dripping sarcasm, then you should know when i called him a dumb @$$, i mean that he is dumb to lose someone that is goal oriented and have things going on for themselves.

he cheats because he is insecure and selfish

i sound trashy. okay who is not smart. where in this description makes me look like trash. no, who is trashy is the hooker that slepts with a man and know he is married. i blame her for not having respect for herself. she knows nothing not going to come from their hook up. he ain't going to leave me for her because i told him to get his stuff and leave. he won't go.

you are missing the point. the point of this is to say, if you are going to cheat, then why get someone that is beneath the person you are with. if you are going to cheat, aim for the best. then maybe i can understand the reason behind it.

Answer 1

I can feel your pain, but I really don't think her hair length, her career or any of that has anything to do with anything. He cheated, period point blank. Some men cheat with women who are unattractive, fat, sloppy and unemployed and they have a sharp, well-rounded and intelligent wife at home. To most men who cheat, it's all about what's between the woman's legs. It's not about how smart she is or what position she holds. When my husband cheated on me I wanted to know all the specifics about what happened, not so much about her. People cheat for different reasons so to say that he should at least cheat with somebody BETTER than you are doesn't make since. He shouldn't be cheating at all.

Answer 2

If I was to cheat it would be for the emotional and physical needs and satisfaction that is not being given to me by my wife. Although this has been the case since nearly the second I put the ring on her finger (and from what I can tell, in her mind, I was trapped), I have not yet cheated. Because of what making love means to me, there would have to be a friendship, and very strong feelings for the other woman before I could even consider it. As it stands, even though I have always been closer to women then men, and I currently have 2 very close friends (that live in the same city as I do) and a couple of very close friends that live in different states/countries for whom I can say I have feelings, there is really only one with whom I would consider expressing those feelings in a physical way. If I was going to cheat, it would be with her and with her only. It has nothing to do with physical differences between her and my wife, although there are some. Your defensiveness is understandable as you are, I am sure, hurt that he would do this, but the real question is not what physical attributes there are, but WHY did he consider it in the first place. From the tone of your question, it seems you don't hold a lot of respect for his opinions or thoughts in the first place, and I am sure he was able to feel that. You say you listened to his "dumb *** all the time" and he "ain't even talking about nothing" (very poor grammar for someone with such a high opinion of herself by the way). If you think he doesn't pick up on that, you need to re-evaluate yourself before blaming him or criticizing her. I know you are going to lump me in with "all the other men" that have been "bashing" you, but if you use the intelligence you claim to have and read what I have written, you will see that I have only answered your question and given you a different (possibly his) perspective on the situation. Maybe it is time to take a step back and look at things with new eyes. Perhaps the problem is not what he did, but the fact that you feel he is below you in the first place. I am not saying you are to blame, but perhaps you are at least part of the cause (being the intelligent woman you are, you will know there is a difference).

Answer 3

Girl, DROP HIS @SS!!! He's not sorry and will probably do it again. You know why he had to go below you to cheat? Because only a woman BELOW you will go there. They won't ask or care if the man is in a relationship, they are okay with borrowed time. For whatever reason, these woman have insecurities and aren't in touch with reality. The fact of the matter is...he WANTED TO CHEAT on you and he just needed to find a trampy chick that would feel blessed that he chose her. Cause a real woman...won't let it go down that like. He only wanted a fck! He already has the real woman. But obviously, he doesn't appreciate you and he doesn't respect you. he sounds like a sorry dude. Drop him and show him how much better you can do....(To the left, to the left....)

Answer 4

If this bothers you then leave him...obviously he claims you aren't there for him and so he cheated...

if cheated meaning had sex with then you really should go...cuz how does talking lead to f****king???

He was unhappy and your gonna be unhappy cuz he lost your trust...so unless you wanna try to work through this leave or seperate

...and what if he goes back and get her preggo??? or some other lady???

I don't have the right answer, you two are really gonna have to talk about make some improvements...

and one more thing...do you think he cared about looks??? all he wanted was some convo (and her crotch, lol). Did she even know he was married, by the way?

Answer 5

Don't dismiss what he said too quickly (especially if you two intend to continue being a couple). I know we men have a reputation for being "dogs", and I don't condone or excuse the behavior of any cheater, male or female, but I realize men cheat for a variety of reasons. A strict consideration of looks or features is somewhere near the bottom of the list. It's been suggested that moreso than men falling in love with a woman, they fall in love with how they feel about themselves when they're with a particular woman. That is essentially true. I'm not going to attack the hostility in your tone as being part of the problem because you've been cheated, and have every right to be hostile. But I think his revelation that he finds her appealling because she listens to him (apart from just hearing what he said) is probably true and understandable. Nevertheless, I'm sorry for your pain.

Answer 6

Honey if you have already got evidence he's dishonest ("So I suppose my bf is dishonest doing the net factor I do have evidence, however he hides his "cookies" temp records that may hint what you're doing on-line.. ") why might you desire to maintain torturing your self watching for extra proof? Just kick him to the lower noone merits to be cheated on. I recognise its less difficult mentioned than performed considering I'm definite you like him, however love your self extra. No man is ever valued at your tears.

Answer 7

It was opportunity. They flirted, they saw that each other was interested and the rest fell into place.
My ex went with a total looser. He's a coke addict, controlling, manipulative, and jealous of me like you can't believe. I smile to myself when I think about it. She has begged me to try things out again several times. Be patient and you'll get your satisfaction.

Edit:
I read the stuff you added. It sounds like you've decided to stick it out with him. I always think this course is a mistake because your trust is gone. You will punish him for this for a long time. You will have doubts about his faithfulness. I wish you the best of luck.

Answer 8

Why don't you marry me Madame? If you are going to cheat to get revenge, then I am the one. I make an excellent husband. Just try me for size! For 30 days! If not satisfied, you can get a refund. lol hahahahhahahahahahahahahaha

Answer 9

So what did you do?
If she's that good, what's the point in coming back for the bad treatment at home? Why not just stay with her and forget about you?
So, what's the situation?

Answer 10

Cheating is NEVER justified.

That being said, your attitude seems to be condescending to him:


"wtf is that. i listen to his dumb @$$ all the time and his conversations about what, he ain't even talking about nothing."

Now that is no way to build faith and tolerance in a marriage. IF you want to save the marriage, listen to him, he is telling you what he NEEDS.

I hope it all works out!

Peace!