please please help tell me what would u do?

Question

I ask this before but my question was misunderstood so I am asking it again because I need to know what I can do to make him leave me alone
My ex is trying to control my life.. he has a new gf but he still acts like I am his gf too I have been very clear I would never want him back and it 100% over between us... but he knows I am single and maybe this is why he thinks I still want him back or trying to make fall for him again and still show off his gf to my face all the time... if he sees me talking to someone he gets all upset and acts like he is hurt... and I has done sooooooo much to hurt me while I gave him 100% love and care and never asked anything from him but thanx god I am too strong I can still stand on my own
and I don't talk to him but his gf, him and I work at the same place and whenever he gets the chance he comes around me with his gf and tells her gf to stand away and he ask me how I am? Is it true I have found another job? He acts like he want me to find another job but then next min he acts he is glad we work together and he tries to look at me whenever possible. I can see how it makes his gf upset she looks at me with anger and hate in her eyes I was the first one to work in this company and after I helped him to get a job there cause he was jobless for yrs and now he has brought his gf 2. I don’t see why I should leave a job that pays good salary and it has good potentials

I am also not ready for another relationship... or flirting with other guys to make him jealous I wouldn’t want anyone else feeling’s to get played like main

Answer 1

If you never want him back, then 100% stop ALL communications with him...

He knows about your love life, your job situation, your social life etc.

Continuing to communicate with him is like running back into the house after some stupid thing, when you know there is a Monster in there!!!

Don't go back!

Answer 2

I'm thinking, this is pretty much a control thing with your ex. It seems he may want his cake and eat it too. You are the ex, and he had another girlfriend, and that seems to be what you've chosen for the best. I know the feeling, and to be honest, I don't know what he is up to. If you don't want to leave your job, and you don't want him around you, and ignoring his girlfriend when he IS around you, here's the plan. If you can actually talk to this man, set up an appointment to meet you at a "very" public restaurant", WITH his girlfriend (make sure you make that very, very clear), and you take a non-biased friend with you as well. Then tell him and the girlfriend (so that she knows for certain), that you are not interested in him anymore, and you would appreciate if he would just get on with his life, and leave you to yours. This is a mature approach (and it has to be mature), and if he is at all mature, he will listen, and realize that there is just nothing between you at all. The girlfriend, will also know that, simply because you requested that she be there as well, and you have a non-biased friend with you. Hopefully this will do the trick. However, if it doesn't, then I would suggest that rather than put up with him you do several things. Firstly, start looking for another job (yes, I know this one pays well, but if you have to cut the ties, this is one of the ways you will have to do it.) Make sure that you have the job lined up, so that when you give notice, it will co-incide with the new job, and there shouldn't be any loss of income. Second: If he has a habit of phoning you, change your number and make sure it's unlisted. (If he's the type who shows up at your doorstep - a move might be one of the other options). Thirdly: If he is becoming obsessive, and tends to follow you wherever you go, then it's restraining order time. I know some of these seem to be drastic, and may not fit the profile, however, it is you only, who can make those decisions. My relationship went to the Third Stage, and that's when he finally stopped, because if he broke the restraint order, he was on his way to jail for breaking it. (If it gets to that, you will need his address, a photo, and information on places he goes to, so that he can be served with the order). If all works well at the restaurant meeting, that's great. If it doesn't, you will have had a witness with you who can testify for you if he causes any trouble.
I do feel for you, and I also feel for the Girlfriend who is being pushed aside because this guy wants to put you on. But, if you do the things you need to do step-by-step, everything will work the way it should. I know there are changes to come in your life, but, look at it this way, Guys don't do changing very well. Women are very strong and flexible, and they are able to jump back into change fairly easily. That's what makes us different.
I hope you can use some of this information to help your situation. Everyone deserves the life they want to live, and believe me, this is only a start for you.
Love and Blessings to you.

Answer 3

He obviosly has not taken you seriously in regard to it "being over" and is probably hoping to turn things around. If changing jobs is not an option then I would talk with my boss or supervisor and explain the situation. Tell them you want him to stay completely away from you and that you will do the same. Being in the same building means you'll see each other in passing but does not require verbal or physical contact outside of work related matters. The management should be able to handle it. Then, as another suggested, serve him with a restraining order. Use it if you need to and call police any time he bothers you, for any reason. You have to get the message to him where he understands it and a few run ins with police over defying the order should send that message loud and clear. The best defense is a good offense. Attack!

Answer 4

get a restraing order from the court,and tell the judge just what you me.take a copy to your supervisor at work.he will probly be fired.also get restraing orders from any women that you feal is a threat.
IF they violate the order,call the police and inforce
the order.You can ask for money fine for first time.and second time higher money fine.The women are being sturred up to get revenge.
Tell him that if anything happens to you no matter who causes it ,even accident.the letter your lawyer has,will be opend and a law suit started.
I DON'T understand men like him.he doesent
want anyone else to have you.because then he won't have a chance,
I DO WISH YOU WELL,AND THE VERY BEST.
I did answere your last cry for help.

Answer 5

Personally, I would get a different job, but since you don't want to do that (and I can understand that), then you have to convince him to stay away from you at work. If the work harassment continues, report him to a supervisor, ask to be transferred to another department, etc.

Also, everytime he asks you a personal question, say, "That's no longer any of your business." Everytime he tries to tell you about his new life, say, "I don't care anymore." Make sure you don't give him any reason to think you DO care anymore!

Answer 6

BREATHE DARN IT, BREATHE!!!

That's what...a five minute oration built on four sentences and almost no punctuation! (ie: no pauses to breathe in.)

If he's trying to keep the workplace civil... Say, "Fine, thanks for asking," and leave. If he asks you personal questions, POLITELY tell him that that is none of his business, and that he is coming close to Sexual Harrassment. If he wishes to speak to you on WORK related subjects, speak with him, provide the information needed and end the conversation.
Talk to his new lady, and flatly tell her you'd rather eat broken glass than take him back, and this *may* ease tensions between you.
If he becomes openly beligerant about you speaking with other people - especially men, it may be time to think about a restraining order.
In any case, the next time you and his girlfriend are near each other, and he asks his lady to give you some privacy, tell him...while she is still there...since I have nothing to say to you outside of work related subjects, why does she have to leave?

Best of luck!

Answer 7

I agree with "Fireball226" but you also have to realize there is no reason for the 2 of you to communicate at all. I do understand how it could be incomfortable at work and the choice of leaving is up to you. You should just honestly not even talk to him (or his new girlfriend) even if he talks to you. If you happen to pass each other, just act like he's not even there...

I wish you the best of luck...I know this can be difficult.

Answer 8

This guy sounds like trouble. Talk to the boss about it and see if the two of you can come up with a solution. You may need to take out a peace warrent on him.

Answer 9

If u feel he dont care abt u or love u then y dont u just leave him,n give a new start to ur life, or else u will go into depression.

Answer 10

if he hasn't threatened physical harm to you it'll be hard to get a restraining order, at least in PA it would be. BUT, since you work with him it can be construed as harassment and you should bring up with with your superiors. I've seen people loose their jobs for less intrusive behaviors.