HELP ME...... my mate might be pregnant!!at 14.. =|?

Question

HELP!!!!!!!!! my mate and i are mega worried about our other mate she has had 4 -7 unpretected $ex times with her 17 nearly 18 yr old boyfriend and we are really worried about her...
Every one is school is all sayin o congrats for loosing ya virginaty but i am just there like....
hello??? UNPROTECTED $EX!!! not funny ... she could have a disease or summit too! =s HELP ME!!
you will see a very simalar question asked by my mate too.....
i really really need help ...
she is driving me up the wall
and since she met her boyfrind thats all she can ever talk about ..... and i cant stand it!!
i mean i love her to bits but she has got to realise how stupid she is being

Sensible comments please ...
hopefully you can see how woried we all are about her
=] THANX =]

B.T.W = i cant go to the police either coz she is so in love with him and i dont want to make her upset and i dont think i can face being there for someone who can change for a boy and forget everything else!

Answer 1

Thanks for that information. I'll try to earn a few extra quid so that I can pay some more tax to help look after a young girl during her pregnancy with all the medical requirements, and then to help pay for her single mother's allowances, child benefit and probably a council flat too - and all because she couldn't be bothered to keep her legs together.
Why DO these children think it's so clever - and what's this about everyone congratulating her on her loss of virginity - what sort of a school brings girls up to offer THAT sort of praise - and finally, WHY ARE YOU SO BOTHERED ABOUT IT ALL ! ! !

Answer 2

Firstly do her parents know that she has an 18 year old boyfriend?!
This so called friend of yours is going to look back and say how stupid could i have been! From having unprotected sex and losing her virginity so young! It's nothing to be proud of! and her 18 year old boyfriend should know better as well!
Get her alone and tell her that she is not big and she's not clever. Tell her that she could have some sort of sexually transmitted disease, and a STD can lead to serious problems such as infertility, aids and many more horrible fatalities!
If she doesn't listen threaten to tell her mother or father! Or even threaten to turn her boyfriend into the police! IT'S ILLEGAL FOR HER TO HAVE SEX! SHE IS A MINOR!
Even if you lose her as a friend in a few years time she will come back to you and realise you were being a good mate and had a her best interest at heart!
This guy is taking advantage of your friend and she is only 14 she has he rest of her life ahead of her!

Good Luck and a i hope your friend sees sense!!!

Answer 3

Being sensible means I must ignore the fact she is underage and he is a criminal (in the UK) and since he is little over 16 the police wouldn't take this crime very seriously anyway, since she chooses to be with him, and no matter what anyone says to her she will continue to do so.

Your friend should ask this boy about his sexual history and at her own discretion get tested for STIs, and have a pregnancy test if she needs one.

The next step, if she is pregnant is to have her baby,. lean on her family for the support they will give while she finishes school.

She also needs to think about going to the family planning clinic regularly for a supply of condoms. They just give them away so it is a good idea. And then she should USE them.

EDIT - some people are being unreasonable re this boy. Suppose she is pregnant. What good is it to the unborn child to criminalise the father? None whatsoever. And what good is it to criminalise him for her to willingly choose to be with him anyway? None. I could understand if she was under 13 then a statutory rape charge could stick, but under English law, age is a factor over 13, since that girl can (unlawfully) "consent". The police would not even get involved in this matter. He would have to be much older before they even think about it. If she leaves home things are different. THEN he can be charged with abduction, and more than likely any sex offences. But as things stand, English law won't be enforced, as usual.

Answer 4

She is not disgusting nor stupid... just misinformed. Other people in school, social culture and tv have convinced her that what she is doing is cool. Congrats to you for realizing that that's not true.

Some people will just NOT listen, so trying to give her advice will just annoy her and she will stop sharing with you (like if you were her mom). That will put you in a situation were you can't help her anymore.

If she gets preagnant, she won't die so don't worry too much. I got a kid when I was young and I thought my world was coming to an end... years passed by and now I think is the best thing that ever happened to me.

If you truly love her, let her make her own mistakes and when she's suffering help her out lovingly and non judgmentally.

I'm sorry I can't give you a way to avoid her suffering... but understand that it's the only way to mature, you can't grow up for her.

Answer 5

Well if she is pregnant she wont be able to keep it hidden for long and she may aswell kiss her bf goodbye as he will be going to prison for having sex with a child.She needs to do a home test and if she is pregnant she really needs to tell her parents or if she is too scared tell a teacher who will help her to tell them.If she is not pregnant she needs to stop having unprotected sex especially with paedophiles because she could end up with a disease that there is no cure for.I am glad that you seem to have more sense then she does I hope you can talk some sense into her but you probably have more chance of walking on the moon.

Answer 6

What you're witnessing is what's been going on since the beginning of time, ( Young girl & older guy). My advice to you is tell her she needs to be careful and then after that say absolutely nothing, because she'll begin to act defensive towards you. Your friend is severely SPRUNG right now, and you have to understand that there is no cure for experiencing great sex. Worst case scenario is that she just might get pregnant, that, however, is not going to be your problem. You also need to understand that most girls tend to spend more time with their boyfriends, when they start having sex with them. Then the friend is left to kick it either by themself or with another friend in the group. You eventually loose touch with that friend and then see each other later on somewhere else. However, it'll never be the same between you all.

Just live your life to the fullest and try to be the best friend you can be to her. Trust me when I tell you she will come back eventually.

Answer 7

Hi the best thing for you to do is to take her to the family planning clinic and get her checked on and on some for of contraceptives. This way your helping her and your self, You sound like a really good friend, as if shes claming to love this bloke then she wont listen to anyone, and telling the police or her parents could just destroy her.just tell her you want to take her to he fpc and then she probaly will be more than happy to go knowing she has your suppost, you can even go in the room with her and explain what goingon,They will always be willing to help her.

Answer 8

First of you are a true friend for being so worried. On the other hand your friend might not c it that way, she might think you're jealous. So be carefull of being to pushy.

Get some brochures form a clinic or tell her that you would like to find out more about sex etc. and that you want to go see a counsellor but you don't want to go alone. Go talk to the counsellor before you and your friend goes and explain the situation to him. Maybe he can help without your friend knowing you are doing it for her.

If that doesn't work try talking to her bf.

You have to be strong. Good Luck

Answer 9

Well, yeah, she's acting dumb, but boys aren't the only ones that get hormone-addled and stupid at puberty. You're not going to be able to talk sense into her while she's in this state, although you can try. If you think it might help, you could ask your parents (although of course there's always the risk they would think you're talking about yourself..) You might try talking to her boyfriend, but he sounds pretty darned foolish as well. Sometimes you can't stop the train-wreck, you can only help pick up the pieces afterward. You're a good friend - hang in there with her, and good luck!

Answer 10

This is far too serious to be on here. Take her to your local family planning clinic (if you don't know where it is look on the net or in the phonebook). If she won't go then you and your other mate go without her. The people there will be able to offer you free, professional and confidential advice on what can be done. She might not like you going behind her back like that, but trust me, you're doing the right thing.

Answer 11

If only all 14 year olds were as sensible and as caring as you are. Your friend certainly needs a reality check but the best you can do is get her a test and then if it's positive make sure she gets to your local family planning clinic as they will be able to offer her options and it will be totally confidential. You sound like a good friend!