do i have to ask her mums permission too??

Question

looking to ask my girlfriend for her hand in marriage.

planning on asking her dad for permission/blessing but should her mum be there????

worry worry worry

Answer 1

If it makes you feel better wait until they are together and ask them both.

Answer 2

I think it shows disrespect to your girlfriend to ask anyone except her.

It is a sad reminder how patriarchal our society still is when people think it's sweet that a father be asked for his daughter's hand, like it's his to give away.

I thought we had got over women being men's property, but evidently not, even if we just do it because it's traditional it's still acknowledging that there may be something in it.

There are many things which are traditional that we no longer do because they are now seen to be unfair, morally wrong, etc.

Ask your girlfriend to marry you, then go both together to see both her parents at the same time and tell them that the pair of you intend to marry.

If my boyfriend thought he should go and ask my dad for my hand in marriage, even if to only get his blessing, he would not be my boyfriend anymore let alone my fiance.

Answer 3

Well im assuming you have known this girl and her parents for a while so you know what kind of people they are and whether the mother would be offended if she wasnt there when you asked the Dad.
The best thing to do is to get them both together and ask then, that way you can do it without worrying about whether or not she should of been there.

Answer 4

Its very old fashioned - it rather assumes your gf is the property of her father - a much outdated idea. Go request to consult your gf's parents at the same time. If they're old fashioned they'll subject you to loads of questions about your current income, how you plan to provide for their daughter in the future etc. If not, they will be real pleased that you have taken the care to ask for their permission.

Answer 5

Go ahead and ask her. Don't let anyone convince you about continuing being a Muslim. Maybe you can even talk her into attending ONE service with you. Tell her if she still thinks it's wrong then you'll stop. But pray before you do so. Ask God to open your mom's eyes to Christianity. Hope it all goes well.

Answer 6

Well that's just lovely so few men ask anyone's permission anymore. I think it would be nice and show respect if you asked them both at the same time. And I'm sure they will appeciate being asked. Good luck.

Answer 7

i don't think so. The idea comes from the traditional idea that the daughter was the father's property... now, it's not that anymore, but i think it'd be less personal if you asked for her hand with her mom there.. i think it should be a man to man conversation.

Answer 8

it's traditional to ask the father he's head of the home according to tradition
take him to one side ask him for his daughters hand in marriage that's what he probably done
remember it's the father that has to fork out for the wedding
and he wants to make sure it is going to last

Answer 9

oh you gentleman..well done you for doing that...its lovely in this day and age..

I'd say, having been raised by just my mum, she'd probably like to be there, as it shows you respect them both and want both their blessings...

Dont worry though, I bet they'll be thrilled to have you as a son in law..

Good luck!!

Answer 10

Id ask the girlfriend first - although its traditional, she might want the pleasure of telling her parents!

Answer 11

OOOOOhh thats so sweet, you could always speak to both of them at the same time, and ask what they both think etc. That might settle your mind on what they both think. good luck x