miscarriage question, experiences wanted please..?

Question

I had a pregnancy scan 3weeks ago, and was devasted to learn that my baby had died a few weeks earlier, i was aprox 12 weeks preg.
The baby was unplanned, and my partner had a vasectomy 4weeks before we found out I was expecting, we had just got used to the idea of having baby no.2 and now the chance has gone!!
I got told to go home and see if my body expells it naturally, I have just been for my second scan, and everything is still there, I have opted for another 2weeks of "wait and see" then I have to make a decision between having a pill inserted internally, and waiting in hospital for hours, or going in for a "d&c" ..I don't know what to do, I hate hospitals at the best of times and am scared of going under anasthetic, but from what some people have told me about the pill (sorry I can't think of the name!) that's very unpleasant as well.. has anyone got any opinions/experiences to share with me please.. I want to do the ostrich thing at the moment.(yes, very grown up I know,sorry

Thankyou everybody, I will try the rasberry leaf tea.., anything really to stop going into hospital, but I imagine I will wait for the 2weeks, and then have a d&c, and for everyone who has experienced the same or similiar can I say how sorry I am for you all too.. It is really awful isn't it.. Thankyou again

Answer 1

go see another doctor and leave this quack m.d. behind

Answer 2

The same thing happened to me. I found out at 13 weeks that the baby had died around 8 weeks. Because I had held onto the baby for five weeks without expelling it, they wanted me to have a D&C, which I had misgivings about, but the pill sounded too painful. However, I started miscarrying naturally 4 days before my scheduled D&C, so I went to the hospital and took the pill anyway, and I didn't notice any real difference. It was terrible, terrible pain and I passed a lot of big tissue clumps. However, I was very happy that I didn't have to have the D&C, because like any surgical procedure, their are risks from the anesthesia and the procedure. However, if you aren't planning on getting pregnant again because of the vasectomy, the possible infertility caused by scarring from the D&C may not be a concern for you, and the pain will probably be less. To be said of natural passing, it is emotionally traumatizing to flush what was your baby down the toilet, and trust me, that is EXACTLY what it feels like. Your only option for that is a mental ward or serious repression. However, you do get great drugs to take home. They'll take care of the pain, and even if they don't, you'll be so out of it you won't notice the pain.

Answer 3

I'm in a similar situation and have just had a miscarriage. I opted for the natural method, so I can't give you advice on the pill or, as they call it at my local hospital, an 'evacuation'. What I will share with you however, is my experience of letting nature do it's thing. For the last week (I hope finally finishing yesterday, as nothing yet today) I have been having severe, labour-type pains every day while my body expels it naturally - these come on without any warning and last for around 3 hours. That's not to say that you will experience the same but it's a possibility.

I guess what I'm saying is that none of the methods are going to be pleasant, so it may just be better to get it over with rather than sit and wait?

Answer 4

oh hun the wait is awful, i should know, i had a missed miscarriage with my first pregnancy, i went for my routine ultra sound at 12 weeks only to discover that pregnancy had actually ended week 6. The hospital assumed i had my dates wrong so sent me home with a promise of an ultra sound 2 weeks later, i did miscarry at home a week later. I can tell you that it was extremely painful, lasted for hours and i lost a huge amount of blood and clots, my husband returned from work to a horror scene and if i knew that now i would have opted for a d&c. I understand that you want to be as natural as possible but if the pregnancy has ended then let the doctors help you move on. I know its very scary but waiting isnt going to make the situation go away. I hope this hasnt scared you and has helped you make the right decision for you. Good luck babe, thinking of you at this awful time. xxxxx

Answer 5

I had a missed miscarriage in May. I would have been about 9 or 10 weeks along, but by the size they measured it at they said the fetus stopped living sometime a week before that. I was so devastated cuz the pregnancy was very unexpected and came at a pretty weird time for us, but we adjusted and got used to it and then it was very wanted. I couldn't stand the idea of waiting around for things to happen so they asked me what I wanted to do and offered to perform a D & C for me a week later. They also said if I started to bleed before that I could come in and they would perform it immediately.

The D & C wasn't bad at all and although we were still very upset it made it easier to move on sooner and start thinking about trying again. I wasn't in much pain afterwards, just cramps. I'm actually glad I got it done now....I can't even imagine what it would be like to have actually naturally miscarried. I think that would have been harder for me. Everyone is different though and I don't know anything about that pill so I can't say much about it.

Answer 6

i also had a miscarriage. i was about 13 weeks and they told me that my baby died around week 9. at 13 weeks my body started to expell it and thats how i knew. my body didnt expell everything so they gave me the option of those pills or a d&c. i was goin to do the pills but then they told me how i had to take them. there were 8 pills and they had to be manually placed in the rectum all at once by my dr. or she said my fiance could do it whatever was more comfortable for me. they said that the pills would make me cramp very severely and i would pass the rest of the matter. i opted for the D&C. i had never had any surgery before or been put under. i was terrified. i went to the hosp. at 7 in the morn. they started me on an IV. i went into the surgery room (crying like a baby) at 9 am the next thing i knew i was waking back up in my original room at 10:00 am or so. i was in no pain. i had to eat lunch there and i was home by 12:00. the rest of that day i had slight spotting and no pain. i spotted for about a week and then i was back to normal but i was very depressed for a long time. that was April of 2006. i am now 22 weeks pregnant and everyhting is goin well. i wish you luck, you will be ok.

Answer 7

The same thing has happened to me three times!! And each time I opted for the d&c...I would reccommend this course of action to anyone....it was completely pain free I went in to hospital in the morning and was back home by dinner time.
A girl in the next bed to me opted for that pill and the poor soul was in pain all day with quite a lot of 'mess' (sorry didnt know what other word to use) coming away from her she had a really hard day of it and she was still there when i left I felt really sorry for her. I hope this helps, good luck for the future x

Answer 8

I am so sorry for you. I had a miscarriage at 8 weeks, this was unplanned but as soon as i miscarried i wanted the baby and felt so guilty. fortunately it came away naturally.

you can only make the decision, personally i would opt for the d&c unpleasant but better than waiting around for something to happen causing you more distress

hope everything goes well

Answer 9

I only had to wait a week and a half for mine..I would suggest if you want, trying some red raspberry leaf tea, which will, when it's time, make the contractions very effective so that everything is expelled well..I did this, and could not have been happier with it. There are also pills you can take...Another herb would be blue and black cohosh..Do your research on these, but I almost broke down and took them, knowing they would work well..These are not to be messed with in a normal pregnancy, but in your and my case, it would be good...Good luck and I am so sorry!

Answer 10

Id get the d & c as whatever your body expelles with pill will be quite disturbing for a very long time if u see it and then its all over and done with, you know its all out and theres prob less risks with a d &c too. Keep ya pecker up x

Answer 11

3 weeks ago i was 12 weeks pregnant with twins... and they died...
believe me it hurts more the longer you leave them in
the hospital were great with me
i know exactly what u are going thru
dont miscarry at home as u wont have the pain relief
the hospital kept topping me up with pethidine and really looked after me...
and if u do need to have surgery after the best place to be is in hospital trust me

feel free to contact me with any more questions
for me it was just as u described devasting

im very sorry for ur loss

xx