I am currently 21 weeks pregnant with our first child. My husband and I will be married for 2 years soon.
Since I have been pregnant, my husband doesn't seem interested in having sex with me. I weighed 98 lbs before I got pregnant and am only up to 108. I keep in shape and so far, all I am is belly. No other kind of "fat". The only reason I'm mentioning this is because, I don't know if it's because my body looks different. Is why he doesn't want to have sex with me?
This has happened twice now. The first itme, I initiated it and we ended up doing it, but I swear I felt like I was "making him".
Yesterday, I tried to initiate it and I could tell he didn't want any part of it.
It makes me cry and makes me feel like I look gross to him or something.
We haven't been "intimate" very much lately at all, and yesterday when I asked him what the problem was- he said "it's hard to go from not messing around for a while to messing around again". He's my husband. Why would that be so hard?
2007-09-14 01:59:00 · 11 answers · asked by Julie 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
some men CAN'T have sex with a woman while she is pregnant, particuarly with the first... happened to me...
wait until the child is born, then things will return to normal...
2007-09-14 02:04:45 · answer #1 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am now 30 weeks preg. Congrats by the way!! This is our 1st too. It is really exciting. I had the same problem w/ my hubby. He said it was because he was scared. Even though he knew that he wasn't going to hurt the baby, it kind of creeped him out. We have only had sex 3 times since I found out that I was pregnant 25 weeks ago. He seems to be better now. He seems a little more interested now. My suggestion to you is to talk to him about this and tell him how you feel, and how he is making you feel by his actions. Chances are he will open up and tell you what's on his mind. I am sure it is not you at all, he is just probably thinking a lot of things right now, and I highly doubt that any of them relate to how you are looking these days. If anything, he may be more attracted to you because of the baby. After all, you are making another life in that little belly of yours, and he helped make it, and that's pretty special. Hang in there he will come around.
2016-05-19 02:56:54 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Like some of the other respondants have said, some men find it difficult to have sex with a pregnant woman. Others love it. I think part of it is pheromonal, but the other part might be behavioral.
Likely he has just gotten used to the idea that he's going to be going without sex for a long time, and your sudden interest took him by surprise. If you are once again feeling up for it, try easing him in slowly, but making him the focus of the scene the first few times. Blindfold him, so his mind can run wild, and then perform oral on him or otherwise stimulate him. Do that a few times, and he's likely going to feel much more physically affectionate and you can go back to having regular relations. Also, tell him that frequent intercourse increases bonding between father and child. Total BS, but he probably wants to be a good daddy . . .
2007-09-14 04:38:09 · answer #3 · answered by terry m 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't feel bad, talk with him. Some men have a problem having sex with a woman while she is pregnant, not that she is unattractive but other issues. Now me, I think women are sexier when the have that baby belly. Why I'm not sure just something about it that makes me go wild!! So I sure you look good and don't worry about a thing sit him down and tell him momma need some attention too!! Good luck!
2007-09-14 04:02:18 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is a mental thing with some men, I had the same problem. It wasn't just my wife anymore, but I knew that my child was also there. We know that we can't hurt the child, we aren't that stupid, it is just that sex has temporarily changed.
It took me a while to come to terms that I was about to become a father and my wife was going to be a mother. I was extremely excited, it just that I had to have time for my mind to adjust to the change.
Men do have emotions, we just don't express them out loud. He is having to go over things on his own. If you push the subject, it will only make it worse.
I know this may sound stupid to you, but you have to respect the way he feels if you want him to respect the way you feel. Try talking to him about it. But don't push him if he doesn't want to talk about it. He may not even know what the issue is. It takes us a long time to figure out our thoughts sometimes.
I know myself being the youngest in my family, I never had any responsibility of taking care of anyone younger then me. Knowing that I was soon going to have a baby that is totaling dependent on me took some adjusting too also.
As you can tell from my rambling, he probably has a lot on his mind.
We even started having sex again later in her pregnancy when I became comfortable with the change in our relationship.
2007-09-14 02:50:21 · answer #5 · answered by mdjoffe 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This could be trouble. It's true some men don't like to have sex (for various reasons) when the wife is pregnant. However, there are some men who don't want sex once their wives become pregnant because now the view her as a "mother" not as someone to have sex with. Some men turn to prostitutes or have affairs.
I'd get both your hiney's to a marriage therapist asap!
2007-09-14 02:38:12 · answer #6 · answered by Elt 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
My bet is that he is just afraid of hurting the baby. My husband admitted (finally) that he was terrified of this with our 1st pregnancy. He was afraid he was thumping the baby on the head!!! Maybe if you gave your MD/midwife a heads up about the situation, he could go with you to the dr next visit, and the dr could bring this up and be reassuring about it. My guess is that's his issue. He should come around, and congrats to you! I am sure you look beautiful! :)
2007-09-14 02:12:22 · answer #7 · answered by Saia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men have a lot of fears about pregnancy. There are several books out there just for men and pregnancy. I'm sure it has nothing to do with you or your body. Usually its a fear of hurting the baby. What to expect when you are expecting has a chapter just for the daddies to be.
2007-09-14 02:07:36 · answer #8 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is quite normal for some men not to want sex with their wives while pregnant...its just a thing they have..it has nothing to do with ur figure it has everything to do wiht a living being being isnside of u...relax and share ur love with him in other ways lots of cuddling and touching
2007-09-14 02:07:54 · answer #9 · answered by Patricia Ann 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I bet he's cheating on you or has an issue going on in his mind. When my wife was pregnant with my son that was such a turn on. I loved to have sex with her @ that time. She was carrying my son and there was nothing more sensual than making love to her.
2007-09-14 02:06:59 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋