My fiance broke up with me three weeks after I found out I was pregnant. I'm currently going back to college. I was excited at first, but now I'm just very upset. He is now denying that the baby is his, and I don't want this baby to come into the world like this. He won't even answer my calls.
I am against surgical abortions and am borderline on medical abortions. I am 7 weeks tomorrow. I'm not young, like in my early twenties, so what advice would you give me? (Adoption is out of the question for religious reasons.) My mom died three years ago, so I'm feeling pretty alone right now.
2007-09-14 01:42:44 · 30 answers · asked by sublime 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
First of all, I'm sorry you have this problem. Your fiance should be horsewhipped for copping out this way.
If it weren't for your religious reasons, I would counsel you to give the child up for adoption. Since you have ruled that out, the only suggestion I can make is to find close friends or relatives who will help you.
I'm a man. I cannot get pregnant myself and I cannot have an abortion, but I have had some personal experience with abortions while in my relationship with my first wife. I was totally against them. I won the only argument that mattered and saved my oldest son. I also wound up married for 15 years to a woman who never grew up.
I will argue for your unborn baby as long as my voice can be heard. Try to find a way to give this innocent little child the chance at life you would want for him or her if it were not for your fiance's crass behavior.
Be strong. If you elect to go the route of the medical abortion make sure it is the best and only alternative available to you. Keep your faith and be strong. You will need to be strong no matter what you do.
2007-09-14 12:07:15 · answer #1 · answered by Warren D 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am very sorry for your situation. I am pro-choice but you really need to think about every possible outcome. If you do decide to have an abortion, do you think you might regret it? If you have any doubts at all then DON'T DO IT. I'm just saying that because I have had an abortion and it truly is the most difficult decision I have ever made. I understand about adoption too. I couldn't do it either. I think it takes an incredible person to be able to carry a child for nine months and then give it up as if it were never there. My suggestion would be to wait it out. Maybe your boyfriend will come around, or maybe he won't. That child will bring you a world of happiness though and you don't need a man to support you. A lot of women do it on their own. My mother raised her 3 kids on her own for a VERY long time. Good luck with everyting
2007-09-14 02:51:19 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
I am against abortion and no I would never have one. This is really something you have to work out on your on. Yes it is scary facing this alone, but think about whether or not the fact that you are upset is because you are pregnant or because the jerk left. The fact may be that your fiance is just scared. What happens when he calms down and comes back and admitts he was a selfish immature jerk and you've had an abortion? Are you going to regret it then? What happens when you get married to someone, get pregnant and the doctor asks is this your first pregnancy? Are you going to feel regret when you answer? I'm not trying to push you into a decision, these are just things you need to think about before choosing either way. You can't think only about how you feel right now you have to think about how this is going to effect you for the rest of your life. Best of luck to you.
2007-09-14 02:16:57 · answer #3 · answered by andi 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I would only have an abortion if my own life was put at serious risk because I have two other children who need me to be living. If I didn't have children already, I don't think I would have one unless the doctors were sure I was going to die.
Sounds like you're going to have this baby, and that's a good thing. It might be hard, but you'll regret having an abortion if you get one, and I think you already know that.
Keep your head up and things will get better. Right now you're feeling down and you're hormonal, but soon you'll start feeling better about having a baby. The first and last trimester are always the most emotional.
Best of Luck to You
2007-09-14 02:00:51 · answer #4 · answered by ninn09262 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Listen if your against it then why would you do it? you know. im so against it because it is not that poor babys fault that you picked the wrong person to have it by whether it was planned or unplanned. i dont want to sound rude you know but someones got to be the voice of that poor baby. did it ask to be made? No. so then why kill it. just because everything is not developed and stuff doesnt mean your not killing a human life. And you know what if adoption is out of the question for religious reasons then abortion should be evn further out. If you care about the child you wouldnt kill it possibly give it a better home with some good family or raise it on your own with his child support get a dna but dont kill it. it just makes so no sense to me. Whether you keep it or give it up for adoption it would be better. might as well have it wait til its 5 and just slit its throat. have you seen the pictures of babies who are aborted? there heads get chopped off and all there little body parts are all cut up and disformed. and you can tell its a little baby. its so sad so hopefully you will make the right choice and hopefully they make abortion illegal. =]
2007-09-14 01:53:15 · answer #5 · answered by .:...:. 3 · 6⤊ 2⤋
adoption is out for religious reasons?? WTF
As someone who was adopted I can say i am glad my parents where not so selfish that they would rather kill me than go through the trouble of having me and handing me to someone else. I am also glad they didn't hide behind religion to feel better about aborting me. I myself would rather be alive with crappy parents than be dead.
IMO you should do the right thing, have the child and give it up for adoption.
If you have an abortion, no matter where you stand on the subject, you will wonder if you did the right thing the rest of your life. It is likely to lead to regret.
I'm no anti abortionist i just think adoption should be the first choice and abortion last. your child is growing inside you that is awsome...I vote to save the baby.
Finding someone to take the child will be very easy. There are thousands of people who will love that child. If you find a family now they can expeirience the development and birth with you and you can get to know them and feel better about giving your child up.
Good luck and get the pill.
2007-09-14 02:07:13 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 2⤋
The morning after pill is the morning after + a few days.
Now your 7 weeks? So at one time you must of had a flicker of excitement at the prospect of being a mother, at least until the bf made his decision. Now make yours.
Coming here to look for answers is heart breaking. Read the questions of the women looking for answers because they can't get pregnant. If you feel so strong in your religion by not considering adoption, why is it that you are in this situation?
I am sorry if I come across so harsh; that is not my intention. Just remember; your baby will come into this world extremely loved and protected by you.
2007-09-14 02:41:21 · answer #7 · answered by m8kitup 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
This is totally something YOU need to decide for yourself. I know, since you are against surgical abortions (which in my opinion are safer so keep that in mind) that you don't have much time. Is there a good friend (one who is not adementaly pro-life) that you can talk to about this. You need someone to talk to.
Are you prepared to raise the baby alone? You can always prove paternity and make him pay child-support.
Ultimately this is your decision, we can't make it for you. I know how hard this must be for you, and what a tough decision this is.
My advice, is to sleep on it for a few days, you sound like you are in total shock right now, so you can't think clearly. I would strongly suggest NOT going in to have an abortion in the next couple days, just because you are not thinking rationally. Once you have time to digest your situation, then make the decision.
Abortion may be the best solution, but it may not be. I seriously don't want you rushing into a decision you will have to live with for the rest of your life just because you are against surgical abortions, and medical abortions can only be adminstered for so long.
Good luck! *hugs*
2007-09-14 01:55:17 · answer #8 · answered by Morgaine 4 · 2⤊ 4⤋
I personally would only get an abortion if it was medical necessary but I also believe it is the person choice. Kids can be scary I had my fist one 1 week befor I turned 21 but in the end it is worth it. I'm not going to lie it is hard but also very rewarding look at it this way you won't be alone and will have someone who loves you unconditionally. In the end it is your decision. Take the time to think about it before you decide it is a decision you cant take back. Good luck. Also you dont need a man to raise a child.
2007-09-14 01:54:30 · answer #9 · answered by kcwaak 3 · 4⤊ 4⤋
Why is adoption out of the question for religious reasons but not abortion? Trust me I'm not judging you at all, that's not my place. Just curious and concerned.
My vote is for no abortion.
I'm so sorry your fiance is being like that. I'm sure your mom is looking over you right now and can help you through raising this child in ways you will never see.
2007-09-14 01:50:52 · answer #10 · answered by Julie 3 · 8⤊ 2⤋