Ok, a guy that I like (and he likes me), has proposed something. (no, not marriage).
Long story short: I can't be with him at the moment, we live in seperate parts of the country, and I need to get through some stuff (issues/problems, call them what you like) before I think we can be together...
He wants to "show his commitment to me" and "get my commitment to him" by depositing a chunk of money into my bank account. (he has a lot of money, but thats not important)
He says he knows I wouldn't accept the money unless I was committed to him, so if I don't accept it he will see it as a sign that I have no plans to ever be with him.
Basically if I don't accept the money he said he will have to say "have a nice life".
I don't want to lose him, but I don't think I could accept his money. It seems weird to me (I kinda see where he's coming from)
What would you do?
(I know it may not make sense to you, and I'm sure I'll get some nasty comments.)
2007-09-13 23:48:22 · 14 answers · asked by Trout Pout (Lollie) 4 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
I know he's the one. We want to get married and have kids and everything...
And if this is the only way I can show him I am committed to him, what other choice do I have. And I guess I don't have to spend the money do i...
still, I feel weird about it. Maybe it's just because I was raised to believe you work hard for your money.
2007-09-14 00:04:15 · update #1
if you see a future with him then let it happen
2007-09-13 23:53:25 · answer #1 · answered by dee_ann 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why does he want to send you money? Is this his way of having control, or do you need the money and he wants to help you out? If you allow him to send the money, that doesn't mean you have to spend any of the money. Make sure this is someone you would like to have a commitment to. Is marriage going to be the end to this, after a period, or is he as I said , just want to be in control? Sorry but only you know really how you feel, and if you don't accept the money, is it something that you can move on from and have a good life with out him in the picture.
2007-09-14 06:59:36 · answer #2 · answered by LIPPIE 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So don't accept the money & he will say "have a nice life" Sounds like he is giving an impossible choice; You can find a decent guy!! Money isn't everything, although I am fortunate to be in his position, I wouldn't DREAM of giving an ultimatum like that!!
2007-09-14 06:58:32 · answer #3 · answered by goodjoe! 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well I think if you take the money he is like buying you. LOVE IS NOT about money. If you love him and he loves you money shouldn't even be in the picture. BUT why not just explain to him that there ARE some issues that need to be addressed before you can commit to him? And 2ndly, how can you say you love him, I mean it sounds like you haven't even met him in person. So HOW can you say you love him or he you?
2007-09-14 07:30:50 · answer #4 · answered by GRUMPY 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Accept the money. If he tries to hold it over you, you can always threaten to give it back and accuse him of trying to buy you. Do you think that he will try to treat you this way if you were married? Ask some older men and women who know you both what they think.
2007-09-14 06:59:30 · answer #5 · answered by Keith 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i would accept the money and put it in another account so you dont have to touch it and if things dont work out between the two of you (not saying that will happen just "if") then you can give it back to him and not feel like you owe him anything. if it does work out you two can put the money towards something nice for the two of you
2007-09-14 06:53:15 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
If it were me I wouldn't take the money - if you guys were as close as you say you wouldn't need to ask this question...you would already know the answer. I hope it all works out for you!
2007-09-14 07:39:18 · answer #7 · answered by *dream weaver* 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really like him then you should be with him, but I do think it's not a very normal thing for him to be giving money to you for you to be with him. It's a little like buying you. Just do what your heart says! I hope all goes well. =)
2007-09-14 06:53:46 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This doesn't make sense, why would he give you money and then refuse to be with you if you object? It sounds to me like he is a controller and wants to have control over your relationship.
2007-09-14 06:54:01 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
If this money was a gift with no strings attached, I'd say take it. If you do take it, you'll have to live under his thumb. Or you could take it and later say you changed your mind, but that's not very honest.
2007-09-14 06:53:39 · answer #10 · answered by wwhrd 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like a control freak! "Wish him a great life" and walk away, particularly before bringing kids into the world. Its blackmail - walk away now, and listen to your instincts.
2007-09-14 10:34:07 · answer #11 · answered by aink 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋