Is happiness an illusion, when kids are involved?

Question

My son hates my husband so much that he wont come a visit me when I have visitation days.
I married the man who demolished our family so I understand what he feeling about us are, I don't push anything.

My Ex. finally got a family therapist for him after a few weeks The therapist had everyone involved in on a family session. My son went postal on us to the point that when my husband started to get defensive my 14 year flat out told me he did not want to be my son and he will continue hating me to my grave!

I finally got courage enough to say my response and my son tore me to shreds!
It was bad, now am taking antidepressant and seeing my on therapist about my own issues.
After 3 months we all sat down again, My son gave me an ultimatum dispose of my current husband and never have contact with him or my son would dispose of me!

I don't want to lose my son this way, but he hurting what should I do?
Choose son, or husband I can't have both, my happiness gone either way!

Answer 1

What scares the most about this is that you didn't once even venture to say what exactly IS the issue your son has with your husban. ITs almost as if you just simple blame the son for being this way for no reason, if thats true that shows a pretty strain mother-son relaitonship. ALso NOT one ill word about the husban, what gives with that? Trust that if he was doing everything right, you wouldn't be here right now, so you need to let go of any ideals you have that he doesn't have some influence on this problem. Also grab on to peace, not happiness, we can't ever attain that, but some peace is a good realistic goal to have, which basically means a end to all that conflict. Keep in mind to your son didn't pick your new husban, he has to just live with your choice, not an easy thing for anyone to do, espacially if its more or less he is just your husban, and nothing much to him...

Answer 2

Your son is being selfish and unreasonable. He's only thinking of himself. As he matures and experiences some 'ups and downs' of his own, hopefully he will began to understand.

Meantime, you must forgive your son and tell him you love him no matter where he lives or what he does. Make sure he knows that your heart is always open for him to return when he's ready to accept life as it is... not like he wants it to be.

Give him books for his birthday and Christmas that deal with learning to grow up.

Answer 3

Happiness is never an illusion.
Do the right thing...happiness follows.