Do You Think that Gay Couples who adopt, are as good as role models as straight coupled parents?

Question

Do You Think that Gay Couples who adopt, are as good as role models as straight coupled parents?

i.e. a fatherly figure aswell as a motherly figure?

and how will it affect the child?

i would apprieciate it if no-one would critisise me. im 16 years old and studying sociology dammit. thats why i want to know!!!!!!!

Answer 1

of course they can, it's been done before, time and time again, and alot of the kids ended up straight, but i'll bet that none of them went around bullying others over sexuality.

ask most relationship experts / counsellors / family planner,s and they'll tell you that all a child needs is a loving, stable relationship to grow up in, whether between two men, two women, a man and a woman, or a single parent.

nor are they likely to influence the childs sexuality, just as gay and lesbian people grow up with heterosexual parents.

the child is at risk of being teased by it, but that's not the fault of the parents, its the fault of the educational systems for not being tough enough on bullies, and kids will pick on ANYTHING nowadays, someone with oddly coloured hair, glasses, braces, dislike of football or rugby etc.

and bare in mind, that although it might have been a heterosexual couple that brought it into the world, it's also that couples fault that the child has ended up in an adoption agency.

this, coupled with the fact that homosexual couples that are looking to adopt obviously want the child, and are more likely to be better parents than a heterosexual couple and "accident" children.

as someone else has said, until every child has a safe, stable, loving home to live in, we shouldn't discriminate over religion, ethnicity, sexuality, or any other factors.

again, adoption by gay couples has been happening for a LONG time. and it hasn't had any negative effects, but by all means, you can continue to believe that gay couples can't do what they already do ( and have been doing so) for years, just as well as their heterosexual counterparts.

Answer 2

It's good you are interested in topics like this.

I don't think we can generalise the whole straight couples and gay couples. At the end of the day, you need to study each couple as an individual couple. I was brough up by my own parents, but they were very bad parents.

I am sure children would want to know who their biological parents are and good parents would always be honest with their adopted children and do their best to explain. I don't think they would suffer because of lack of a motherly or fatherly figure. As long as they can see that two human beings can form a loving relationship with each other and both of them care for the children.

But if your school or teacher is a religious one, they might not want you to think about it, they might just want you to write down what they want to hear.

Answer 3

gay parents are every bit as good as straight parents; often better since there's so much social pressure on gay parents to show they are going to do a good job.

as long as the family is a loving caring place to be, the child will be fine. and they can always get male or female role models outside the family as they need them; they wil have grandparents and teachers and others they can look up to for a gender oriented role model not available at home.

Answer 4

I think that gay couples who adopt can be role models who are just as good - if not better - than straight couples. Many straight couples feel they have a "God-given right" to bear and adopt children, but there are many who don't take the responsibility very seriously.

The argument that children raised in a home with two dads or two moms will be immoral and permanently damaged is weak at best, and based on emotional, knee-jerk irrationality stemming from religious indoctrination. I've heard too many horror stories of straight couples who adopt groups of children just to collect the checks provided by the State; stories of physical, sexual and emotional abuse.

I'm not saying that gay and lesbian couples would all be perfect, but because it's much harder for them to go through the adoption process and they would be under a lot closer scrutiny, they would work much harder to be good parents out of both desire and necessity.

You also can't fall back on the old excuse that the kids in a gay family unit would face more teasing, bullying and pressure from both their peers and their teachers. Sad to say, but in a lot of cases, adoption agencies and state entities will only give "problem" kids to gay couples - the ones that most other straight couples want to have nothing to do with, letting them have first crack at the "normal" kids. So the kids adopted by gay and lesbian parents in many cases probably regard their new situation as a cakewalk, compared to whatever terrible ordeal they left behind them.

Plus, do the children of straight parents have it any easier if their parents are remarried? Of mixed race? Or coming from a single parent situation, especially in a case where one parent abandoned the family? Or how about when both parents abandon the child?

More and more kids coming out of gay family situations are proving that even though "mom and dad" is the traditional family unit, it's not the only one that's capable of producing strong, healthy, decent kids who grow up as remarkable individuals who are as likely to be heterosexual as their counterparts.

Answer 5

Of course they can be good role models.If anything the child would grow up to accept people who are different from the "norm"
single parents are also good role models felt i had to add that as some people have put us down with there comments

Answer 6

Before I write this, I'd like to point out I have nothing against homosexuals, and am totally behind same sex marriage.

Anyway, while I don't doubt that a gay couple could provide a warm and loving home for an adopted child, I'm not sure if I believe it is in the child's best interests when compared to a heterosexual couple. The simple fact is that it is not just the attention and love a child gets at home that influences its happiness during its formative years. While it may be wrong, I can't help but to feel that when the other children at school found out about about the homosexual parents, the child would be mercilessly bullied.

Also, would the child itself not question why everyone else had a mummy and a daddy, while he/she has two daddies/mummies? Even when they understand, would the child possibly not feel they missed out on a 'normal' chlidhood and resent the fact?

It's a complicated issue, and sadly, if I'm honest, I believe in most cases a heterosexual couple is more suitable for adopting than a homosexual couple. And that is by no means because I think homosexuals would be 'bad' parents, but it would be foolish to ignore other factors which may be outside of the gay parents influence.

Answer 7

I would think it's best to have a loving role model of each gender as otherwise the child could end up not seeing the other gender as positively. But this could be achieved in same-sex couples by the child spending plenty of time with a grandparent, aunt or uncle, or other trusted adult.

Of course, it's better to have two loving parents (of any gender) than an abusive or absent parent.

Answer 8

Well, my two grew up well -- they were adopted mind you -- and came out of abusive homes in their early teens -- so there were interesting times and tough times and struggles -- but they loved it,and their friends spent more time at our house than anywhere else for years -- so I think its probably immaterial. Both of them are straight, btw.

Of course, the quality of the gay couple matters, just as the quality of the straight couple does --- and if its a single gay parent, their quality matters the same as it would with a single straight parent.

Kind thoughts,

Reyn

PS If you are interested in scientific research and fact, the article linked below may be of interest.




Interesting

Answer 9

Well of course it is seems it would be an awkward set up but you know I have seen gay couples and I would have to say they would make excellent parents. Gay people usually have a deeper sense of feeling, or sensitivity and usually they are emotional. These are traits that children can most definately benefit from. There are so many people that have children that shouldnt be parents. Neglectful people. Just look at that couple from the UK that lost their little girl in Portugal. Can you leave young children locked in a hotel room while you go out to meet friends? Can you imagine? So keeping all things in mind gay people introduce the children, their children to there are all types of parental setups. They allow the children to see that one needs to keep an open mind in life. Its a great start. And Yes I would say 100% to their chosing to parent.

Answer 10

I think that it's fine. Kids who have two straight parents can be way more messed up than kids with two gay parents who love each other and are happy.
It might be good however (in the case of two guys), if the child had a female influence in their lives. eg. Friend, sister etc.