I need a good advice?

Question

What to do when someone has fallen head over heels for you but you are just not physically attracted to that person. How important is physical attraction when it comes to having a love relationship?

Don't you think that when two people decide to pursue a relationship together they need to have a good chemistry???

Answer 1

Personally, I can't date someone that there's nothing about them that I'm physically attracted to. Though, I have been known to not find someone physically attractive, get to know them as a friend and then gradually they become more visually appealing, I would find little things about them that I found very attractive.

But again, as shallow as it is to say, you almost can't have a strong relationship (love) without some form of physical attraction and chemistry.

So, try getting to know this person better without making any serious commitments, maybe they'll become more attractive to you. If not, just let them down easy.

Answer 2

Chemistry and attraction are important in a relationship.

However, they aren't the end all, be all of a relationship either. You can still have a relationship of some kind with her even if you aren't physically attracted to her. You can still be her friend. Don't put it that you don't find her attractive...just that she's not really your type...it's a little nicer. However, leave the door open for a friendship.

Now, granted....if you do leave the door open for frienship...understand that her feelings towards you are capable of resurfacing down the line.....and it's possible a year from now you might fall for her....you just never know. I know you say that you don't feel that way about her...but that doesn't mean the you a year or two down the line might not feel different. For now, try to be her friend......if she can't live with that...well then it's obvious she couldn't be that head over heals with you to begin with.

Now, don't get me wrong either. You can have a love relationship with her now...it is possible.

ask yourself theese questions...if you say yes...then you are open to a romantic relationship with her...maybe not now...but maybe down the line at least. Or it could be now....that's up to you.

1. When you are with her, do you get lost in the moment? do you have so much fun with her that the sun is often coming up before the fun ends? (or could you see that happening if given the chance?)

2. Do you get along well, communicate well and tend to even be flirty around each other? (even playful flirting counts).

3. Can you talk about hard subjects like sex, politics and religion without feeling awkward or like you've done something wrong by bringing it up?

4. Does your family like her? (have they met her?)

5. Do you think she will make a great wife/mother in the future....regardless of who she is with?

6. Do you want the best in life for her? Does her happiness rank high on your radar?

If you answered yes to a lot of them or all of them...there is no doubt that you could make a relationship work with her. The attraction will come....take it slow and be respectful. Sometimes the best friend you have is the one perfect person for you...because they truelly know you the best, as you would them.

However, if you answered no to most or all of them...I'd say that she's not the one....and truthfully....she must not be much to you at all anyways......so you might as well let her down gently, and move on away from her when it comes to the dating and friendship aspects.


You need to be honest with yourself when answering thoose questions though. It will make a big difference if you are.

Answer 3

There are pros and cons for every decision we make in life.

Chemistry plays a big part in a relationship. If you are not physically attracted to a person, then by all means, do not pretend to be because in the long run, it will only result in unhappiness between the two. Wouldn't you rather have this girl/guy know that you aren't interested so that they can find someone who trully is mutually interested in them?

I must say that physical attraction is important to many people but I cannot say that it is the most important attribute to look for It all depends on the person, and many couples have realized that if their partner didn't have other qualities like a great personality, intelligence, loyalty, honesty,etc, they wouldn't last long. A person's looks could experience the wrath of aging but their insides could get better with time. You have to find that balance in what it is you want in a partner.

So how do you tell this someone who is madly in love with you that you aren't interested. For starts, don't give them the wrong messages of interest if you aren't interested. Secondly, tell this person kindly and truthfully that you arent interested in them. Dont be mean about it. For example, you can say, "I think you are a great person but Im not interested in you in that way. I know it sucks to hear that but there is someone out there right for you."

Hope my advice helps. PEACE!

Answer 4

Keep your distance and be firm about it, if you don't want to start a relationship, if you are not you will encourage the other person to try harder. Physical attraction is in the eye of the beholder, some one that looks great to you maybe ugly to some one else so physical attraction is not so important in a mature relationship. Usually the person you are attracted to looks OK to you so why care how they look to other people.

Answer 5

It could be infatuation and not really kind of love or something like that.For a starter physicals have a lot of appeal but in the long run it's the compatibility which endures a relationship.Still,all said and done, an acceptable minimum good looks should be there,as we are all human beings after all.

Answer 6

Yes, it is important. You can get a feeling for that even someplace as simple as a personals advertisement. They say they will match your personalities, but they include a statement about attraction is first -not word for word, but listen to how they say it. It has to be there. Just be polite, but let the person know you are not interested.

Answer 7

yes, chemisrty should be good.. If you try to play it off and act like this person physical features dont' bother you it will be noticed. If physical is more important to you than internal then you should let this person know you arent' attracted to them in that kind of way.That way no one really truly get hurt by fake feelings.

Answer 8

Yes, one sided affairs are sad, we just cannot understand that the chemistry is not working for both of us, I am in that position now, but I just have to accept it, reluctantly.