My son has just started high school this year (grade 9 - 14 yrs old) We have a pretty good line of communication but I am looking for suggestions on how I can make sure he goes down the right path, stays in school and keeps out of trouble without invading his space too much and being that really over protective mom (which I am) I don't allow him to do much because I am a younger mom, very aware of whats out there and am so afraid of him making a huge mistake with drugs and alcohol. I want to be a good parent but am finding it very hard to trust his instincts. Suggestions are greatly needed.
2007-09-13 19:29:27 · 10 answers · asked by CPsMom 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
Sounds like your doing good so far with him. Allow him some space and privacy, but not to the extent that you have no clue what he's doing. Keep an eye on him and if you start noticing strange behavior confront him about it before it gets out of hand. Kids are going to want to test their limits and see what they can get away with, don't allow him to be completely in control. Yes, you need to let him voice his opinions but at the same time your the parent.
2007-09-14 02:16:17 · answer #1 · answered by Bill S 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I saw one answer that said to be his friend.....NO! I have a 14 year old girl that just also started high school and we are having the same issues. Having his frineds over is a great idea, that way you can keep tabs on where he is and what he is doing. We have a teen room for her and her friends and a large supply of soda and snacks for them. You can be the cool house to hang out, but always be the parent!
Some space is needed, in 4 years they will be away in college, but always keep an eye on what they are doing. 14 is not an age where they have the best of judgement. Please just remember that you are his parent (at 14 they aren't really supposed to like you) you are not his friend.
2007-09-14 08:04:03 · answer #2 · answered by Lynn M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you could ask him if he would like to invite some of his friends round, not so you can interrogate them, but just so you know names to faces if anything in the future does happen.
Its natural for you to worry, my mum still worries about me getting involved with the wrong things and constantly checks up.
The worse thing you can do though is nag at him, never accuse him of anything despite what you think or have been told. Warn him ( If he doesn't already know ) about the effects and risks of using drugs and alcohol. Also, if you're worried about the school side of things every 3 months, you could phone his form tutor and ask what his attendance, punctuality and maybe grades are. There is nothing wrong with been overprotective as long as he realises it is for the right reasons.
2007-09-14 13:32:25 · answer #3 · answered by SB 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best thing to do is play it by ear. There are really no strict rules about bringing up teens, or children of any age for that matter. Good common sense and maybe some friendly advice will usually help. We've all been through this ourselves.
2007-09-14 03:34:14 · answer #4 · answered by de gan ya bet 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay involved with his life ,have as many of his friends over as you can so they get to know you also.If he is happy at home and his friends feel comfortable that is half your battle.Trust him he has obviously done ok getting this far( with your help)It is not going to be easy even the best kids in the world can faulter,if he does make sure you are there to pick up the pieces,it may not be easy but is well worth it in the end.Good LUck
2007-09-14 04:46:01 · answer #5 · answered by Yes No Sometimes! 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL I REMEMBER MY YEARS IN HIGH SCHOOL AND LOOK AT MY SON AND WONDER HOW HIGH SCHOOL FOR HIM IS GOING TO BE WHEN HE GETS THERE. IT DOESN'T MATTER IF WE'RE YOUNG OR OLDER PARENTS WE'RE ALL JUST A BIT OVER PROTECTED WITH OUR KIDS. THE ONLY THING IS AT ONE POINT WE HAVE TO STOP BE OVER PROTECTED AND LET THEM LIVE THEIR LIFE. YOUR SON IS IN HIGH SCHOOL NOW SO THE NEXT 4 YEARS ARE GOING TO MEMORABLE FOR HIM. AND YES HE'LL GET A TASTE OF MANY THINGS, FROM DATING TOO PEER PRESSURE,ETC. BUT IF YOU KEEP THAT LINE OF COMMUNICATION BETWEEN HIM YOU HAVE NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT. JUST LET HIM BE AND IF HE HAS A PROBLEM OR A QUESTION LET HIM COME TO YOU. BUT IF YOU LIKE LET HIM KNOW THAT ITS OK TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING AND NO MATTER WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCE IS YOU'RE WILLING TO HELP HIM A 100% THROUGH IT. TAKE CARE AND GOOD LUCK!!!!!!!!
2007-09-14 13:45:35 · answer #6 · answered by NENA 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, ease up on him a bit. Dont pressure him or scare him or tell him horrer stories. Just stay his friend. Let him have buddies over at your house, if he is at home you know what he is doing. You need to let him make his own decisions. He will screw up and do bad things but he will also learn from what hes done. You have to let him live his life by himself and not control everything for him otherwise when hes out of school and on his own...bad things can happen. Now he goes to juvie but when hes older he goes to jail and you cant help him them. Let him learn now but also be there for him.
2007-09-14 02:45:03 · answer #7 · answered by I hate stupid ppl like you 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's a boy, you have to be stonrg and show leadership. You oly have a few years before he's turned loose on society and then andy wrong he does sends him to jail.
Teach him how to be a good adult and how to make good decisions. You can be that way without being mean.
Boys can take it. We are not emotionally fragile like girls. I bet his friends have no problem telling him what they think he should do.
2007-09-14 16:15:16 · answer #8 · answered by Jdude 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when u r with your son make sure you behave and act the way you want your son to be.
2007-09-14 14:13:02 · answer #9 · answered by :) 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont let him hang out with gangsters lol
2007-09-14 02:58:18 · answer #10 · answered by <3 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋