Ok ive been with him 5 years on and off and well weve tried living together 4 times and each time something goes wrong. I love him but im not in love he says he feels the same way. So now he wants to try and live together again and thing have been going pretty good so far. Ive mentioned it to him that i feel things work better when we dont live together but he dont understand. If i just tell him no hes going to think i dont want to be with him. So how can i let him down easy. Or should I try and live with him again? Im so confused please help.
2007-09-13 19:11:52 · 7 answers · asked by ♥explosive♥ 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It seems the two of you get along better living apart! If your young and still in your early 20's. It would be best, seeing living together doesn't do wonders to your relationship, If anything! It will sooner or later destroy it!!!
If you really feel your not ( IN ) love with him, It would be best for both of you to maybe go your seperate ways, seeing the two of you's have tried many times to live with each other, only to keep finding out, it won't work and can't work out!
What ever the reasons the problem's are, It doesn't seem to fix it self, and it's plain to see the two of you are more like good friends, and marriage down the line would be a disaster for sure! Your both are sitting at the end of the road as far as a growing relationship goes, and so that no one gets badly hurt feelings later, It should be stopped now so the two of you can get on with your lives!
A yo-yo relationship can never offer real happyness! If you can't live together, why keep the relationship going? There's no bright future for it! That isn't worth the efforts anymore! If he's so much for living together, when he knows it won't work out again, and he still wants to try again and again, it' s most likely just to keep a short (so called rope) on you!!!
He's trying to get you to be there when ever he wants you, but yet doesn't put in any real honest efforts to make the living together really work!!!! I would say if you and he really aren't ( IN ) love with each other! To just go ahead and call the bumpy relationship off now before you end of wasting to much more time with it. From what you have said, It's time to call it quits and move on with your life and find a real relationship that will make you very happy!!!
2007-09-13 19:56:07 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
This guy sounds like someone you might go out with when you don't have anything better to do.
I do not suggest moving in with a boyfriend. That is selling yourself short. You will wind up giving him sex, doing all the household chores, paying half the bills, and taking most of the risks of sex... and he will have absolutely no impetus to go ahead and marry you because you are already giving him the full benefits of a wife without the commitment.
On top of that, living together as a couple for "X-amount of time" makes you common-law married in most states. You can be saddled with his debts. If he dies, you don't have the ability to collect the life insurance, and if he is on life support, you don't have the ability to pull the plug... yet they can hold you responsible for all the hospital bills. So there you have all the risks and none of the benefits.
In short, if a guy can't treat you right, don't sell yourself short by moving in with him.
2007-09-14 02:27:51 · answer #2 · answered by revsuzanne 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
How do you feel about the saying "Why buy the cow when I can get the milk for free?" , because thats what it is , no marriage until you force it , and the fact you dont get along when your under the 1 roof for long periods of time if you want to be in a relationship like this go for it but seriously do you think that little of yourself ? , this sounds very much to me like a "Clayton's affair " , the relationship you have when your not having a relationship.
Break up with him get to know yourself this has been going on and off for 5 years ? , time to get a hobby , an art class , dance class , maybe travel round and find out who you are without him who know's you may meet your mr right.He doesnt sound like he is it , sorry just my own personal oppinion.
2007-09-14 04:08:55 · answer #3 · answered by JadeyOz 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is an additive relationship , i did the same crap with an ex of mine back and forth on and off....... I finally said enough , and guess what i am so much happier , i met a great guy with no reservations ..... and I am happy living together and planning to get married.... stop wasting your time , effort , and emotions ....... how many times do you need to go through it ..hmmm you allready have the answer .
2007-09-14 02:29:06 · answer #4 · answered by la de da 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you both are not in love with each other, why bother, and then of course if someone does come along for either of you that you do fall in love with, you are only going to leave again. It's not really love you have between you, it's only lust.
2007-09-14 03:46:24 · answer #5 · answered by Alwyn C 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would let him down easy. The fact it didn't work out 4 times before... why would you risk doing it again? Doesn't make sense to me.
2007-09-14 02:28:18 · answer #6 · answered by Chris Clayton 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
whats wrong with both of you...you love eachother but are NOT IN LOVE.....then this is friendship and friends shouldnt have to live together or you wanna split rent..anyway if he loves you he will listen and accept your reason for not wanting to live as a couple cause you aint...
2007-09-14 02:37:13 · answer #7 · answered by ajal 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋