How soon is too soon to start dating someone after a divorce? My divorce was final in July and I've met someone I'd like to start dating. I have a 15 month old daughter, also. Please help me figure this out.
2007-09-13 18:12:52 · 18 answers · asked by cowgrl2205 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
hi well a mum i am nearly divorced ,and all ready got a new man in my life ,look im going to be really honest with you ,its all up yto you and how you feel about taking the step to get involved with another man ,cause lets face facts to end up in divorce the relationship had gone severly wrong and we couldnt take it anymore for what ever reason ,ive been seperated for quite a while and the new man in my life came into it quite quickly after the split from my husband and it has worked for us ,you see what i mean ,it is all up to you ,and if you have feelings for this man then go for it ,and if there is a good relationship with youre daughter and the new man well thats a bonus ,we only get one shot at this life and why should you wait around for what ?a few extra months feeling low just because that relationship didnt work and what would people say if i get involved with someone else so soon after the divorce .....well to that its simple youre not living my life im doing whats right for me and my daughter ,why should you wait around to get someone elses ok ......good luck with this new man if this is what you want ,i hope you find some real happiness ,take care xx
2007-09-13 18:28:38 · answer #1 · answered by a parent hows been there !! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a very individual thing. For some women, they can get right back into dating again because, for them, the divorce was a relief and they no longer have any feelings for their spouse. For other women it may take years to get over the hurt and disappointment of their failed marriage. It's all to do with how you feel. If you are still carrying a torch for your ex and wishing you were still married to him, then its too soon to be interested in someone else. You need to get over your separation/divorce first, then move on.....without the baggage, so you can give yourself totally to your new man. This is a totally personal decision....you are the only one who knows if you are ready or not. Good luck.
2007-09-13 18:51:33 · answer #2 · answered by rightio 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As soon as you can walk out of the courtroom!!!
Seriously, as soon as you find someone else and feel comfortable BUT do not do anything with the child and do not introduce anyone to your daughter UNTIL you are in the relationship for several months. Children don't need to meet the flavor of the week or month. They can know that Mom is going out with friends or a friend but don't even start family stuff until you are sure that this one is a keeper for longer than a couple of months. He may not be "The One" but he is not Mr. Right Now. You can get laid anytime so your daughter doesn't need to see you with anyone until you are in a stable long term relationship.
2007-09-13 19:04:44 · answer #3 · answered by baseballdad69 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I'd been seperated for 5 months when I started dating my 2nd husband my daughter was also 15 months old and i had 3 older sons , its been 8 years and we're seperated , I'm sorry but you need more time I feel I jumped too soon due to circumstances , but everyone is different just take baby step's with any new person who come's into your life and please dont look for a new daddy for your princess.
Good luck.
2007-09-14 01:26:19 · answer #4 · answered by JadeyOz 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when you are ready. i was ready before i even left. it's about your emotional level. some people need more time to get over a divorce. especially those that didn't want the divorce in the first place. other people, are ready to start dating again as soon as they hear those words "i want a divorce". it's all dependant on you.
2007-09-13 18:31:58 · answer #5 · answered by Isabella S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
good on ya !!!!
i gotta agree with others - there are some really horrible men (im assuming a man is in the picture )out there who groom divorced woman with kids - and can really mess up not only ur life but ur childs as well - so be careful use ur commonsense and read up a bit about how this cretins groom the kids as well as urself - im not kidding or being funny now - really if u know the signs youll be alert and listen to ur gut - dont get him involved in happy families too soon
2007-09-13 18:29:34 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't do it just yet, it's too soon. You have a daughter
who needs her mother. I'm not trying to be mean, just
realistic. Should you decide to go ahead, go slow and
contrary to another answer I read- don't hide the fact you
have a child. Doing that is not fair to your daughter or the
man who may dump you for not telling him in the first place.
After all isn't a relationship based on openness, honesty,
and reputation?
2007-09-14 01:52:11 · answer #7 · answered by ittybitty1962 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
date when you feel ready to - if you have uresolved feelings about your ex, or your divorce - then get into counseling before you take the step into dating.
My advice to you about your daughter, for her sake, keep your dating life and your family life extremely separate until the time comes when you know for sure the new man in your life is going to stay in your life...you don't want your child to have to get attached, and detached to people you are going out with. Make your dating plans for when your daughter is visiting with dad.
2007-09-13 18:43:16 · answer #8 · answered by allrightythen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just make sure that you are emotional done with the past. You don't want to make the same mistake! Please don't have the guy meet your daughter until you totally feel that you will want to serious relationship! I would do a background check him! If you were a man, I would tell you to check the back ground of the women! I wish my nephew check before he got involved with a girl! She had a record already at the age of 21yrs. old!!! Just be careful!!!! It's not just you that you have to worry about now!! Good luck!
2007-09-13 18:31:30 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
After you run a background check to see if he has any convictions- I'm serious! This isn't about you- you have a beautiful baby girl to protect! BEWARE Take time to get to know him before dating. Don't get him around the baby until you are serious. It is too emotionally upsetting when men come in and out of kids lives.
2007-09-13 18:28:54 · answer #10 · answered by atheleticman_fan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋