Young adult & teenager chores? Am I being difficult.?

Question

I have 4 young adult/teenagers in the home, 3 are in college and 1 is a senior in high school.

The college children also work.

We have a big home (3000sq ft) for me to clean all alone. My husband and II work full time and also have a 7 yr old.

I have pretty much always done all the household chores and I'm just know as the nag because I am alwasy asking them to pick up. They can't even keep their rooms cleaned. Each has their own.

Today I put a chore list together for every day of the week consisting of.
Cleaning their room
Cleaning 2 bathrooms
Cleaning kithche, living room and family room.
They don't do everything each day. They have 3 chores 3 days a week.

Is that too much to ask for since they are college students and work?

I also cook for them every day.

My husband is pretty supportive and helps out. I want them to start helping out. They don't contibute to any part of household and we also pay their cell bills and help with tuition.

THOUGHTS

Answer 1

It never asking to much to have your kid learn what responsibility is. They are grown and they need to learn to pick up after them self. You and your husband work and pay bills, that the LEAST they can do.

Answer 2

I think that it is important that your kids, no matter how old they are should each participate in doing chores. In order for them to understand the family duties, it would perhaps be best if you conduct family meetings. After the meeting give everyone their choirs list, and explain that your are going to check their progress.

You can also have some fun as well. Start a pep-point system. Wrap a surprise gift box, and who ever earn the most points at the end of the week gets to have the surprise box. If it seem that there is a tie, you can flip a coin or get another box or the person can do extra chores. The points can be awarded by the appearance of the chore from 1 through 10.

If you child do an excellent job, 10 points, if not give the appropriate points. I think they will appreciate the fun of it...God bless

Answer 3

You're gonna wear yourself out!
You are supporting these kids and they are taking advantage of you. My kids at 7 did more that these guys. Cut their apron strings. I don't know the conditions of their tuition or how many cars and insurance you are paying but you and your hubby need to sit down and look at the finances. Then set up a budget for yourselves..and them if they can't do what any other kid can do to maintain your home, then cut the cell phone, car allowance whatever it takes.
Their FIRST responsibility is to their family and the second is to their education.
Stick to their guns.
Plenty of kids are out on their own, earning their way through college-they could be too!

Answer 4

If they won't contribute to the chores, then don't do anything for them. Let their rooms stay the way they leave them, don't wash or iron their clothes, and don't cook for them. If they want a feed tell them that there is plenty of food there for them to prepare something for themselves. You can't be a slave to them all your life. If you want this to work you have to stick it out and not give in. They might even threaten to move out, but they will be in for a rude shock when they get out in the real world, and will soon run back home faster than a bullet. If they do move out just let them know that when they are willing to pull their weight they can come back home any time.

Answer 5

Dear god in heaven! I would have killed to grow up in your household!
I am 22 and when I was much younger I had the responsibility of the dogs, the bathrooms, the kitchen, vacuuming and keeping my room cleaned.

My mother was a single parent and, even before the divorce, instilled in my brother and I at a young age a sense of responsibility. When we were 5 we started to get 2 quarters for every morning we made our beds. (of course it didn't have to be perfect, we were 5)
I think you are still going easy on them seeing as how they are at least 18.
You're doing a great job. Don't worry for another minute.

Answer 6

It might be too much to ask NOW. Sounds like they're a little spoiled. The pitch in attitude should have started around....um....birth. Since you didn't do that, you've now kind of created some monsters. Let them know that if the chores don't get done, the cell phones get cut off. After that, the cars get grounded. Start taking away some of their luxuries and you might get a hand. It sounds like you and your husband had provided well for these kids, they might need a little tough love to get them to see the light. Good luck :)

Answer 7

hi well in a word YES and i would be sticking a note on the fridge door as youre lot will know where that is and the note would read ""FROM NOW ON IF YOU REFUSE TO DO THE JOBS YOURE ASKED TO DO ON A WEEKLY BASIS AS FROM NEXT WEEK YOURE DAD AND I ARE NOT GOING TO BE PAYING FOR ANY MORE CELL PHONES IN THIS HOUSE ALL OF YOURE WASHING IS GOING TO HAVE TO BE DONE BY YOU OR IF NOT IT WILL BE BAGGED AND TAKEN TO NEAREST CHARITY SHOP ,THANKYOU ....LOVE YOU MUM AND DAD XX...............now if that doesnt get there attention ,follow through with these actions ,why should they bother as it is not affecting them at the moment ,they have got you wrapped round there little finger ,and they are not going to change till it starts to affect there world ,now i should warn you youre going to get a chorus of you cant do that .....and why are they saying that ......because it means that you have had enough and youre putting youre foot down and believe me after a bit of moaning they will comply and do there jobs if not dont cook that one dinner they need to learn that youre not there to run after them they are old enough to pick up after them selves ,im being really honest with you ,id shout on how had ever left something in the house behind there backside "MOVE IT OR LOSE IT !!" this worked as they had worked out that i was not moving things for them and i did on a few times throw a few things in the bucket ,they very quickly learnt to be tidy as so will youre family ,stick to youre guns on this and it will pay !! good luck and take care xx

Answer 8

Not at all. When I was growing up we did a lot of chores. It learns responsibilties. You are not being hard at all. They need to help. You should NOT do all the cleaning. That is being selfish on their part.

Sounds like your an awesome wife and mother. Blessings be with you

Answer 9

You started too late. All of those chores should be shared by all that live in the house from the time they are old enough to make their own bed.

My solution would probably not be well received.

Answer 10

I think you have the wrong word - angst means fear or anxiety i don't know many angst teens!!! i think the reason for the behaviour is simply hormones - in your teens your body goes through a load of change in lots of ways and it is not easy to go through!! Hope this helps!