Did you marry for better or worse, richer or poorer, sickness and in health...?

Question

or are vows a nice ceremonial tradition, but if too much suffering is involved, they arent something to be adhered to?

Answer 1

I take the vows seriously. We found out a week before the wedding the dr. thought my fiancee probably had cancer. A week after the wedding he was formally diagnosed with it. Two years later he's in remission, on his second job, and we're still happily married. My parents were married 35 years until my father's death - they stayed together through a whole lot of stuff. My grandparents just had their 65th wedding anniversary. And we're not just committed to staying together - part of those vows are to love and to honor each other. That's what makes staying together a good thing instead of a prolonged fight. Suffering and life go hand in hand, it's easier if you have someone at your side to help each other through it. And what a lack of character it shows if you hit on tough times and bail out. Who needs fair weather friends, let alone spouses?

Answer 2

I believe that the vows are only truly adhered to when there is mutual respect, support, understanding, compassion and love in the marriage.
Marriage will involve suffering if couples do not expect both the better and worse, or prepare for the richer or poorer. Naturally, if they love one another then the sickness and health is a demonstration of your unconditional support for one another.
Couples say their vows at the happiest moment of their lives. They should always prepare for the worse, the sick, the poverty etc by learning skills to deal with all the issues that may arise in a marriage prior to the wedding day. Taking a proactive approach to learning how to deal with the highs and lows of marriage does not in anyway make your wedding day any less special.
I always recommend premarital counselling.

Answer 3

You really should get married when you feel all the vows apply to you. If you love someone so much to marry, then you should want to be with that person no matter what. The only way I would divorce is if I were cheated on. Even then I wouldn't really want to but it's only a matter of time

Answer 4

They are called vows for a reason. I will stick around for better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and in health. My husband proposed to me when I was taking treatments for a medical condition, and we didn't know at that time whether the meds would work or not. They did, thank God, but I know that he will be there for me regardless of what happens in our lives. I took my vows seriously, and will do the same.

Answer 5

Eleven years and counting. Don't cheat and don't leave is my motto. If there is abuse, addiction, or affairs, Then all bets are off and the contract is broken long before the paperwork is done. I would not abuse others and would not tolerate it myself. I would not build a life with a man who's priority was his addiction, so I would not bother. We have dealt with it all and we are stronger today than we ever were. It wasn't always easy and it wasn't always fun, but we got through it together. My husband stood by me when I was down and I did the same for him. We are best friends, regardless. I believe in the vows we took. I would do it all over again.

Answer 6

I certainly did! And meant every word. And did not have children that would have to suffer from those vows at the time I made them.
I still love him in a way, help him when he is down, talk to his insurance or doctors if he needs me to but I am no longer married to him.

Answer 7

After 5 years of marriage I can still envision being with my husband, regardless of the struggles we may have to endure. Maybe I'll see things differently later or if things really do go bad but there's no way to tell how you'd react to something until you're actually in the situation. I have to say, though, true love is strong.

Answer 8

Yes, I did. I take my marriage vows very seriously. I don't think of them as just words that I said one day and then forgot about the next.

Answer 9

I meant my vows from the very depths of my soul.
Unfortunately we are getting divorced...believe me, it isn't me that wants to. Maybe the vows didn't mean as much to him.

Answer 10

I married my husband with the idea that I was going to spend the rest of my life with him. There are something I would let him go for but they are only common sense things.