O>K. I am a busy person with several volunteering jobs, kids, house, work , dog, activities and yes a husband. I feel neglected by my husband he is always busy working from home every night. He is trying to grow a company but, I feel that I am no longer alive to him. is this normal?
2007-09-13 16:12:39 · 15 answers · asked by Maggie518 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Its normal,its just a dip in the relationship,it happens every so often,go on vacation and leave the kids with grandma,put the kids to bed and maul him in the home office.The spark is still there its just hiding,get in there and get im!
2007-09-13 18:14:56 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes it can be really hard. My husband and I have two toddlers. We have to make time for each other. We have to schedule dates and alone time otherwise we would never spend any adult time. You have to plan and get sitters.... It's essential that you keep the romance alive. Make the extra effort and it will pay off. It may even take a while for you to get to know each other again... Away from being Mommy and Daddy, but it's worth it. I also read somewhere that often times new parents will get all the physical affection they need from their children. They become a substitute for their spouse... So we really try to make sure that we touch and hug. Even if it's in passing or a small thing like holding hands in the car. You can do it, but it will take both of you to make it better.
2007-09-13 23:20:07 · answer #2 · answered by lnfinitelylnteresting 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No it is not normal. Spending time together is very important in a relationship. But in that case you are probably going to have to do the work. Arrange for a sitter to take care of the kids and surprise your husband with night out. Have dinner, go to a movie and if necessary get a hotel room so you two can have some intimacy. Believe me, if the couple loose that time of togetherness, the marriage begins to fail.
2007-09-13 23:26:35 · answer #3 · answered by Ricardo R 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some guys feel their wives are too busy for them and that the kids take up all her time. Some will come out and say it while others will feel guilty feeling that way and hide by staying late at work. Some guys just really overwhelmed by the responsibility of having kids.
I'd say you need to hire a sitter, get out together and have a nice long talk. He may feel you don't ave time for him!
(Then I'd check the "history" on the computer to see what porn sites and e-mailings of old girlfriends he might have made.)
2007-09-14 00:52:02 · answer #4 · answered by atheleticman_fan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To answer your question: No it's not normal. I am also married with one child. Yes my husband puts my daughter before me but I do the same. But it never gets to where I feel like I'm invisible because he doesn't pay attention to me. If you feel like your no longer alive to him call him out on it. Ask him what's the deal and that things need to change. Tell him how you feel and see if that helps. No job in the world should come between the two of you. Whether it be your or his.
2007-09-13 23:29:59 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you should give up a few volunteering jobs....and your husband should block out some time for the two of you.
Otherwise you'll be on here talking about how do you get over a divorce.
Nothing should be more important than your marriage.....work on it.
2007-09-13 23:23:46 · answer #6 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, he is trying to get a business going and that takes a lot of time and dedication. Be patient with him and make the most out of the time you do spend with him. Plan things to do with him when he is free, with and without the kids. He needs you to be there for him.
2007-09-13 23:20:35 · answer #7 · answered by moonchild 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Normal yes. But consider maybe you are neglecting him. Try volunteering less. I know it makes you feel good. But that is not why you should be volunteering.
2007-09-13 23:16:25 · answer #8 · answered by box of rain 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its not 'normal' but it is quite common. In order to get the attention you want from your husband you are going to have to do something that will be of interest to him. If his new business is taking all his attention then that is what is engaging him right now. You can either offer to provide a 'respite' or 'rejuvenation' period for him or just get used to what you have.
2007-09-14 05:07:22 · answer #9 · answered by CountTheDays 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, this can be normal. But it can also become a ugly habit. You need to talk to him about it. Maybe do something that gets his attention by surprise one evening.... you know, something that will put a smile on his face.... When our daughter was young our lives where wrapped around hers. That is all and good, but we started to forget about being there for each other.... It took years to pull out of that. Good luck.
2007-09-13 23:18:59 · answer #10 · answered by Couple of Cents 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋