i have been divorced for 5 yrs and have custody of my son 50% of the time.Zak will call me everyday(sometimes 4-5 times) that i'm gone and ask when will i be home,that he misses me ect then wants me to stay on the phone with him and listen to tv/music with him.The only way i can get him off the phone is to promise to call him back in a few hours.Now when his mom(my ex) goes away he NEVER does this to her i have to tell him to call her and say hi.I do take him with me sometimes but can't take him everytime.Now my gf thinks my ex is putting Zak up to this to ruin our vacations(possible as my ex is still bitter about our divorce and hates my gf)My sister just thinks hes a "poor child of divorce".that misses not having his dad 100%.
2007-09-13 16:00:24 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i know for a fact his home life with his mom is good as she is still single(meaning no new man in her life) and devotes all her attention to him.
2007-09-13 16:02:29 · update #1
ok, tell your gf to mind her business - she is causing a problem where there isn't one with comments like that.
Kids go through mommy phases and daddy phases, it is encouraging to know that your ex supports how the child feels, and allows him to call his daddy wheh he is missed, instead of denying the request. She is promoting your relationship with him, regardless of how she feels about the divorce, or your gf.
Which would you rather have? Your son calling you a few times a day and reminding you how much he loves you - or a situation where you are hardly ever able to speak to him when you want to.
If it is such a problem for you, (or more a problem for your gf) then you can talk to your ex about possibly working out a plan for a set time for your son to call - and for her to gently tell him any other time that you would be busy....but I don't suggest alienating your son,because it is bugging your gf...
2007-09-13 18:56:10 · answer #1 · answered by allrightythen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I doubt his mom is putting him up to it or he'd get tired of the game and not want to stay on the phone so much. It may very well be that he is just not feeling secure about his relationship with you. Lets face it you left his mom so maybe some where inside he is thinking you will leave him too. If he is secure with his mom and like you said you know his home life is good with her then he probably feels ok to go without talking to her for a few days because he knows she's there and she isn't going any where. Maybe you are spending to much time with the gf? Is she hanging around a lot when you have him? He may need more time a lone with you then he is getting. I could be way off base but it sounds like something is making him feel insecure with you. I think you need to find out what it is. Maybe mom is putting thoughts into his head or maybe not. Don't be so quick to blame her until you really know what is going on. Learn to work together for your son's sake. The better mom and dad get along the healthier life you can make for your son. Good Luck!
2007-09-13 16:15:12 · answer #2 · answered by Desiderata 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats so sad next time he is at your place why dont you sit him down and ask him why he calls all the time does he miss daddy that much or does mommy need him to call daddy for something. not saying that your gf has bad intentions but make sure she knows zak comes before her.sounds like she may a be a bit jealous of ex. your sister may be right, but if you have been divorced for 5 years, has he always done this or it just started recently i still think it would be best to talk to him you dont know what is going through his head unless you ask him.
2007-09-13 16:11:13 · answer #3 · answered by rebecca j 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Part of the problem is your ex.....but part is your child too. Children are very smart little manipulators.....they figure out very quickly how to get attention and give you a guilt trip. My youngest stepson used to put on the best show for his mother when we picked him up .....screaming, clinging to her legs, we had to literally tear him away from her. He also pulled the " call every day " card. He cried and made a huge scene whenever he got on the phone with her.....but was totally fine before and after. We asked him why he did that and he just shrugged and said I dont know. He grew out of it.....but it helped that we nixed the daily calls. His mother was angry that we didnt allow the calls.....but only because it made her feel better to know he was "miserable" with us ( even though he really was having a good time ). This is why I think your ex is partly to blame for allowing this behavior to continue. Your child does this because in some strange way he thinks you want it ( to know he misses you ) and your ex allows it because then she gets to be the SAVIOR and comfort him ( since DADDY abandoned him )
2007-09-13 18:23:46 · answer #4 · answered by RedHairedTempest 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it probably is just an age thing for him but I think that if you are going on vacation you and your ex should have a heart to heart prior to you leaving and make it known that you are going on vacation and that is your time. She should respect your right to privacy and let you decide when it is appropriate for your son to contact you when you are on vacation. Meaning that you will initiate the phone call not her or him but you. If your son is not contacting her on vacation then she should give you the same kind of respect. My ex and I have worked it out. Your feeling for each other may be bitter but try really hard to keep your son out of it. It really is so much better for your son and he will really respect you for it later. My son is now 16 and I currently have sole custody but I allow his father to see him when ever he wants to work it out with our son. That is because we have sorted out our differences over the years. We have been divorced since he was 4 years old. Good Luck! Don't let the Guilt Get You I used to let it get me and I was miserable all the time. It sounds like your son loves you very much.
2016-05-19 00:59:32 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why can't you take him sometimes? He has already seen you "out of his life" and he misses you! Do you know how many dads would LOVE to have their kids call them but the mothers prevent it. Be there for him so he can grow up to trust people.
Cherish every moment with your son, yes, above and beyond your GF!
2007-09-13 17:59:02 · answer #6 · answered by atheleticman_fan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋