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1. The outrageous stench permeated the room
2. Of course I believe you
3. Please tell me this is the only copy
4. Once and once only
5. You did that on purpose
6. Oh, don't be ridiculous

Bonus: In the event of a fire_______________

2007-09-13 15:17:37 · 1 answers · asked by sarge 6 in Education & Reference Words & Wordplay

1 answers

Dodge City, Kansas
Circa 1873

"Picture This"

Sunshine eagerly opened the package that her parents had sent her. Matt laughingly commented how she reminded him of a child on Christmas morning. She giggled and tore at the paper and string..... "A camera!! I wonder how it works?"
Matt snapped his fingers....... "Hey! Here's a novel idea.... Why not READ THE INSTRUCTIONS ?" Sunshine made a face at him.
Matt:" Well don't look at me. I haven't got the slightest idea!"
He leaned over and kissed her...... "Gotta get to town, love. I'll see you later. Read the directions!"
Sunshine: Matt!! You only needed to say that (4) Once and once only."

By evening she had figured out how the darn thing worked. She wanted her first photograph to be of Matt, so she loaded up her buggy and headed to Dodge. She found him in the Long Branch with Festus, Doc and ..... Miss Kitty.
She couldn't talk him into stepping outside for a picture; His reticent nature over such frivolity wouldn't allow it.
Sunshine:"What about a group shot?"
Festus:"Well you can count me out! I hear tell that a pho TEE graph can steal your soul."
Doc looked at him in that deadpan fashion of his... "In that case you have nothing to worry about."
Festus:" Doc!! Why are you such a mean old buzzard?! Miss Sunshine.....What do YOU think?"
Sunshine smiled and patted him on the shoulder...(6) Oh, don't be ridiculous, Festus. Your soul will stay intact."
As she was positioning everybody, in walked Oscar Meir and Pungent Weinerstein, two prominent pig farmers. They were sweaty and up to their kneecaps in pig muck. Just as Sunshine took her photograph, (1) The outrageous stench permeated the room.

Half the men in the bar vomited while the other half started a stampede for the front door. Kitty, holding her nose, stormed over to the two offenders......... "Get out of here right this instant!! You're causing me to lose business!!"
Oscar Meir:" I'm plum sorry, Miss Kitty. Please believe me."
Kitty:" (2) Of course I believe you. Now get the hell out of here!!" Angry as a hornet and twice as venomous, she marched up to Sunshine......"Take another !! You deliberatly took the picture when we weren't ready!!"
Sunshine smiled while putting away her equipment...."Now why would I do that, Kitty?"
Kitty:"How should I know!! Maybe it's one of the things that half-wits from the hills find amusing!"

Sunshine developed the photo the next afternoon.She laughed so loudly when she saw the finished product that she nearly flew back into town to present Kitty with a copy.
Kitty was just coming down the stairs when she heard raucous laughter. Matt and Sunshine were practically choking as Sunshine gaily pranced around the saloon showing everyone the photo.
Kitty:"Well, let's have a look.
She grabbed her heart and gasped when she saw it!!
http://cayman.globat.com/~trademarksnet.com/GUNSMOKE/GunsmokeTGAW/Marks-Stuff/Gunsmoke/TopTen/plate-photox.jpg
Kitty:" Those damn pig farmers!!! They smelled like last month's trash!!! And YOU !! (5) You did that on purpose !!" She tried to grab Sunshine's arm but Matt stopped her.
Matt:"Where's your sense of humor, Kitty? I think it's great!!!"
Kitty:" This from the man who left me for
The Hick From Hell!!! " She tried to gather her breath.....
(3) Please tell me this is the only copy !"
Sunshine tried to contol her snickering...... "Nope. I gave a copy to the editor of the town newspaper and I'm keeping one for myself."

Kitty, throughly disgusted and ready to start a rumble, grabbed her copy and gave it to Sam The Bartender.
"SAM!!! In the event of a fire, THROW THIS IN !!!!!"

2007-09-13 15:23:52 · answer #1 · answered by I am Sunshine 6 · 5 0

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