And you're already married, love your job, and do not want to leave it to end the affair with your co-worker? Youve tried finding another job and tried repeatedly to end the affair, both unsuccessfully. Probably because you love both. And your co-worker loves you back, the people you work for are extremely happy with you and your work. You have built a respected relationship with your company for many years, and built a loving relationship with your co-worker for a few years.
You realize that both you and your co-worker are more and more frustrated because of the secret feelings that you have for ea other. You also realize that you cannot go on like this; it is not fair to your spouse (whom you have more of a friendship with) and it is starting to affect your work performance.
You have to work daily with this co-worker; you dont have a choice in your position. Because you must support your family, you cannot leave this good paying job without another lined up. What would you do?
2007-09-13 15:17:29 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Leave your job. Is money worth losing your family?
Your husband probably didn't look so bad to you until you met Mr. Wonderful. Somehow when someone begins an affair their spouse becomes so unimportant and you can no longer see all the good qualities and the reasons you loved them.
You loved him once, remember?
Get away from this other man. You have no idea how adultery hurts. I've been cheated on and I can tell you that the pain cannot even be described in words.
Also, cheating brings consequences and they are never positive so be prepared.
Put the time you spend cheating into your marriage and maybe you can remedy what went wrong.
2007-09-13 23:26:56 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tie a rope around your ankle. Bring it up behind your back and pass it over the pole in your clothes closet so that the free end comes down in front of you. Now, pull hard on the rope and kick yourself in the butt several 100 times.
Stop feeling so dramatically sorry for yourself.
Actually you can go on like this. You've been going on like this for "a few years". You don't like it, but there you have it.
Here's a thought. How about if you each divorce your respective spouses (if that's the case) and marry each other. Yeah. That always works out well.
Do you know how many of these things HR people sit through every year? You're not that special. My answer to these was always the same: you're big people. This is your problem and you need to take care of it - 'cause if you make this my problem I'll take care of quickly and efficiently.
Don't ever forget: HR people work for the company.
I will warn you though that if it becomes a problem at work that the firing order will go like this:
1. white male
2. minority male
3. white female
4. minority female
So if you're involved with a guy and things are becoming tough to manage you're running a healthy risk of getting him fired.
2007-09-13 15:32:49 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Does the co-worker want you to leave your husband so you can be together? If he does then leave your husband. Obviously you care more about the relationship you have at work than the one you have at home. Just be cautious because you cannot guarantee the relationship with the co-worker will be able to survive once it is out in the open. Sometimes it is the thrill of not being caught that helps these relationships sustain. I hope for your sake that is not the case.
Best of luck and I hope you live happily ever after.
2007-09-13 16:29:41 · answer #3 · answered by golfinggoddess 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
first i would never get into this situation in teh first place, you are a cheater. and thats shady and not fair to the person who spend his life with you. also, you can not love both. its just not possible. you should have separated from your husband before starting a relationship with your co worker. and appart from that i am in hr and any place i worked for was stricktly against relationships between employees. i feel in love with a co worker too and to be with him had to resign ( like i said i was in hr and it was a big no no...) but i loved the man and it was easier for me to leave then for him to do so. now we are married as a btw. the first thing you need to do is end the relationship... frankly its a buch of bull excuses you give for how hard it is and all. its bulll... admit it you want both, but you cant have it. so either separate from your husband or break up the relationship either way tell you husband about it.
2007-09-13 16:16:10 · answer #4 · answered by Anna 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you have too many choices here. Ether you tell your husband or quit your job. It is not fair to do that to another human being. You should have thought about the consequences before starting the affair. I am sorry to be so crude, but we make choices in live, and down the road we have to be responsible for them. There is not an easy way out. Good luck.
2007-09-13 15:24:03 · answer #5 · answered by Ricardo R 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wait until the divorce is finalized. You don't want to start something with someone and then at the last minute they realize they can't live without their wife. Sure if you start dating after his divorce you have a chance. Just as much as anyone else does. That isn't a great chance but better than no chance at all if you really think you care about him.
2016-05-19 00:37:41 · answer #6 · answered by elenora 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first be honest with your self when it comes to your marriage what isn't working that is making you look elsewhere. Discuss this with your spouse and if there is nothing you feel you both can do than contemplate a separation. than if by than you still feel the need to be with your co worker and its not just a phase get a divorce and try things out with your worker keep things low key just incase things dont work out. honestly if your not going to be happy in this lifetime when are you going to get another chance.
2007-09-13 15:37:32 · answer #7 · answered by jhoana_pnc 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Been there done that. Actually my Husband and I met at work. He was married I was not. He had a bad marriage (no love connection). I didn't want to continue to see him due to the fact that we were co-workers and people knew he was married. I would have looked like the ****, while he would have looked like "the man". I told him it was either he left the wife or we stopped seeing each other. It was not fair to me. he did leave his wife, divorced her and two yrs later married me. I didn't want to jump into marriage right away, wanted to make sure he really wanted another relationship. and he did. So my suggestion. You can't have your cake and eat it too. Pick which would make life the happiest for all involved.
2007-09-13 15:25:00 · answer #8 · answered by Stella 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I would try to stop the relation ship
co-worker might leave you (might be only for excitment) dont let go all the years of work for some crush.
2007-09-13 15:21:27 · answer #9 · answered by chavode8 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't condone cheating whatsoever, but the person you marry isn't exactly always your one true love.
It's a pretty sticky situation, but if you really feel this way about your co-worker, and you and your wife aren't exactly perfect, then maybe the co-worker is the right one for you.
Just don't cheat.
2007-09-13 15:22:14 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋