hi i seriously need some help here.
i am in school and i have been hanging around with this guy for a while , we became great friends doing things together ,going out taking holidays calling each other every night . i have been doing many things for him too , eg driving him , helping him in his studies . Thats because i like him . But he is however straight.
i told him a week ago and he started freaking out and everything , i know its hard for straight people when another guy says he likes you . but i really really enjoyed the time i had with him , and i can't get over him . in my heart i still want to keep helping him .but now i dunno whether he truely appericates my help or he is using me . Everday i wait for him to at least talk to online but its not helping anymore .
Can someone tell me how i should fight this feeling
2007-09-13 15:10:36 · 20 answers · asked by mushu_rulez 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
i actually told him i wanted to end our friendship , because i cannot be friends with someone who is afraid of me . But all of a sudden he starts being friendly again and asking me homework . do you think he just wants to be friends with me to use me?
2007-09-13 15:21:43 · update #1
u need to respect that he's straight and not chase him like that, your just going to lose him as a friend also
2007-09-13 15:13:39 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 1⤋
Decide now what is truly more important...maintaining a friendship, or a brief period of sexual gratification. Probably his, not yours.
I've been there, bud, and I can tell you that crushing on a straight guy is a dead-end street. You've told him how you felt and he freaked, but seems okay now. That's a good sign, since most straight guys would've not only made it a point to avoid you altogether, but they would've gossiped about you like crazy, telling everyone about what you did and making you seem like some kind of perv.
So, maybe he was willing to patch things up with you because he IS using you for your tutoring skills, or maybe he's decided that having you as a friend is still worth it.
It is so important for you to sit down and talk this out. And keep one thing in mind: you are going to have a lot more crushes and a lot more boyfriends in your life, some gay, some straight and some who don't know which one they are.
You will find that very good friends will be a lot harder to find and hang on to. The former may not always be there for you. But if you're lucky, the latter will.
Do yourself a favor: get over the crush, keep your friend as a friend, and move on to a gay guy who will return your feelings in kind. Your friend will probably always be able to love you, but only as friends, nothing more. Don't lose that...
2007-09-13 16:36:03 · answer #2 · answered by dreamchaser8860 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You can't fight the feeling, That's what happens if whether your gay or not you tell sum one you like them that way and the feelings not mutual. I'm straight and I've been there, Only time can heal what you feel. Tell him that your not sorry about who you are but you are sorry if what you told him made him uncomfortable, Friends would be nice and your there if he needs you. But don't let him use you like you said you thought he is. You deserve better then that he's not the only man out there, lord i know that :-) Your young and there is alot of men out there, Look for sumone with the same uh, passions as you, How does that sound, Chop this up as a life lesson.
2007-09-13 15:19:12 · answer #3 · answered by ashley v 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't know calling eachother every day sounds a bit gay to me.
Are you sure he's straight, maybe he's gay or by and scared as hell someone will find out.
Did he stop talking to you and hanging?
If he is straight then you know the love making will be all on you, he won't give head or let you up in him if he even permits the other.
But to make you feel a little bit better all mine were straight and it didn't bother me a bit.
Just remember that with straight people there are no strings attached.
2007-09-13 15:33:53 · answer #4 · answered by Joe Bleu 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Falling for a straight guy, we all fall for it and it sucks. This guy sounds like he is using you but only you would be able to tell. If he is get rid of him fast, you deserve better. As for your feelings well they will fade in time although it does not seem like it now. Look out for a guy who is not straight, who knows while pondering over this guy you may be missing someone right in front of you. Good luck and its hard but try to avoid fantasies about straight guys. It wont happen and will only end up hurting your heart.
Good luck and may you find true love
2007-09-14 04:52:42 · answer #5 · answered by rabbit1986 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
let me comment on your additional details:
"i actually told him i wanted to end our friendship , because i cannot be friends with someone who is afraid of me . But all of a sudden he starts being friendly again and asking me homework . do you think he just wants to be friends with me to use me?"
we cant judge what is really happening without knowing you 2 but from my perspective what that means is that when you told him this it made him feel like **** and he went and reflected on the situation and then decided to come back and try to make things the way they were because he doesnt want to be afraid of you.
that doesnt make him want to be with you though.
2007-09-13 16:44:49 · answer #6 · answered by ambientdiscord 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
unfortunately the more time you spend with him the harder it will be to stop liking him. He's not going to become gay for you, and it may take time for him to get over the fact that you are. If you get a boyfriend and still want to be his friend, I think that would be the best atmosphere for you two to be in. Good luck :)
2007-09-13 15:16:44 · answer #7 · answered by Lollipop 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think of it relies upon on how honest the gay guy's love is. i've got fall in love with (dare I say it) countless "rapidly" adult males, a number of them I admit it advance into extra like an obsession because of the fact they have been solid seeking to illustrate, yet an extremely few others, I fairly think of it advance into "it". right now 2d, i'm so in love with this rapidly guy, I informed him a pair circumstances that i like him, in the two activities, he didn’t say he feels a similar way, yet he does not reject me the two (for me that's a huge plus) he purely alterations subject count, yet he nonetheless invitations me out to eat, buying and he keeps being around me, which lead me to have self assurance that he might have an interest yet he's not even useful of his very own sexuality. I firmly have self assurance that there are some adult males that admit at an early age that we adore adult males (boys at that age) and we study to handle it, yet there a adult males that don't comprehend what to do and their least perplexing get away this is to act favourite, do the "rapidly" element to attempt to forget approximately approximately it and combine it, be universal, they’ll get married and have youngsters yet deep down they comprehend the actuality. i'm no longer "recruiting" adult males; i'm purely attempting to instruct the guy that i'm in love with that this is no longer so undesirable to settle for your self as a gay guy if he fairly likes adult males. I continuously locate human beings telling me that I could forget approximately approximately him, that he will in no way return the sensation, that i'm purely dropping my time, properly, this is comfortable with me if being around him makes me happy, makes me experience solid and at the instant make me experience that I stand a guess. So confident, i've got self assurance that that's inner maximum and maximum significant love that a rapidly guy will ever adventure, whilst this is real!
2016-10-04 13:08:51 · answer #8 · answered by Erika 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he truly is straight then you have to accept that. Your feelings for him may never go away. You just have to move on with life and find other people to date keeping the memories of him and you being together (studying, etc.).
2007-09-13 15:15:01 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Well there's nothing you can do about your crush. We all get crushes on people who will not, and cannot, reciprocate. Its Life and you eventually get over it and move on.
However - now that he knows you quite like him - why would you NOW ask whether or not he's using you? Because he didnt respond the way you wanted him to?
2007-09-13 15:17:34 · answer #10 · answered by allusian_fields 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well,first off.. If he's straight, you should leave it as friends. I have nothing against you... or your sexual preference,however... many other people do. And they wont take it too kindly when you start hitting on them in that manner. It's for your own sake.
2007-09-13 15:14:11 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋