My friend just told me that she was raped while she was on a trip abroad in Spain a month or two ago.
I just need to know what I need to do to be her support, is there anything I should do? What can I do?
Please, any advice.
2007-09-13 14:47:55 · 30 answers · asked by Jack C 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I'm sorry to hear this.
The best thing you can do is treat her the same, but with sensitivity. Sometimes people don't know how to act around victims, especially victims of sex crimes, so some people may start avoiding her. Send her text messages that say "Just wanted to let you know I'm thinking of you." Tell her if she wants to vent, you'll listen...but don't ask questions or pry for details.
Just keep being her friend, and understand if she gets moody sometimes.
All the best to you.
2007-09-13 14:53:39 · answer #1 · answered by ddd 874 587 545 543 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
All you can really do is be there to support her and listen. Don't judge or tell her that you know what she's going through. Expect that she'll go through a lot of different emotions and she may act differently towards you. Ask her if she'd like to press charges and support her decision. Try to make sure she's checked out for STDs and pregnancy as well. You are a good friend.
2007-09-13 21:52:44 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
What is wrong with people like you breakmyheart is you haven't ever been in this position so you couldn't possibly ever come close to understanding. And to the assholes further up that think girls are never raped, screw you. Its men like you that have mentalities like that that make it hard for girls/women to speak up at all.
My advice: Don't force her to talk about it, don't try to relate, don't pretend you understand because unless you've been in the position of having all your trust in mankind and dignity robbed from you you will never fully understand.
She needs to speak to someone else. I've found that speaking to complete strangers is MUCH easier then speaking to people you know. You feel less like they are judging you.
Tell you friend to report the rape to authorities if she can. She'll never have closure until she does.
2007-09-13 22:01:58 · answer #3 · answered by jingledelz 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
She's probably still in shock. It is a very traumatizing experience. She will definitely need someone to talk to about it. Just be there when she needs to talk, you don't have to say much or anything. Put your arm around her and let her head rest on your shoulder, give her arm the occasional squeeze to let her know that you are listening.
She needs to let it all out. Just do your best to comfort her and everything will be fine.
2007-09-13 22:00:34 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I have had that happen to me.
And honestly. dont try and get her to talk about it if it bothers her.
One thing I can rccomend, is if she ever brings it up herself, or you can just sit her down and tell her you need to tell her something.
If she ever asks, make sure you tell her that it was NOT her fault. That she couldn't have done anything and that it was not her fault.
She is no less of a woman now then she was before.
It left me with the feeling that I was lower then anyone else. And no one told me otherwise. so I would reccomend telling her that.
2007-09-13 21:58:51 · answer #5 · answered by Megan 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Just be there for her and comfort her. You sound like a good friend. For now, don't force her to talk about it, because she probably feels traumatized. Just listen, be kind, and keep on doing what you're doing, because you're a friend worth keeping.
2007-09-13 22:14:40 · answer #6 · answered by Moi 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
your friend was violated while she was on trip abroad and know one knows how she feels but she came to you because she trust you and your her friend just be there fore here when she needs you offer her your support and love that's all that you can do. Stay strong and keep praying with her to get though this.
best of luck
2007-09-13 21:54:37 · answer #7 · answered by mmurray001 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
first you have to talk to her and get her to tell you what all happened. She won't want to at first. But if she trust you enough then she will finally open up. When she tells you listen real good. When she is done ask her what she wants to do about it. Does she want to tell the cops and put the loser away for a long time or does she want to keep it in for a while.
If she decides to tell someone go with her if she trust you enough she will need someone by her side.
I know what it feels like to be raped, I have been twice.
You have to let her know she can trust you or she will keep it bundled up inside forever.
2007-09-13 21:55:05 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 3⤋
You need to talk to her.
Ask her questions but don't be too pushy. Find out as much information as possible. Be that shoulder she needs to lean on. Also, ask her if she's told anyone else. This is serious. Because it happened somewhere else and she didn't speak about it to her parents, that guy is going to get away with what he did.
Your friend needs to go to the hospital and get checked for any STD's as well.
2007-09-13 21:51:50 · answer #9 · answered by ♪Msz. Nena♫ 6 · 6⤊ 2⤋
just be there for her, if she needs something get it, she will open up and talk to you. try not to get too mushy unless she is opening up to you. dont smuther her with how badly you feel for her. make everything as normal as possible. movies, dinner in, putt putt. whatever makes her happy. she will be thankful you were just there.
2007-09-13 22:06:43 · answer #10 · answered by HowDoUGetOut 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋