help...please?

Question

help...please...
Question Details: I'm going to lose it...the pressures...the strain...i'm ready to run away and become a homeless, baglady...and i'm not kidding. there are moments when i want to die and drive off a cliff, but i don't want to leave behind a devastated family. :(

i just started a job as a teacher, but i hate it. we need the paycheck desperately and the medical benefits so i can get help and meds, but i can't make it until then. it's not good to be depressed as a new, first year elementary school teacher.

if i walk away, i walk away from hope, but i can't cling to it...i don't want to go back...the thought puts me over the edge. i'm taking tomorrow off (i'm getting the stomach flu passed on by my daughter.)

i feel as though i let everyone down (and incurred loans to pay for the education) but no amount of positive talk is getting me through this. i am crying all the time. not in front of the kids, of course. my own kids are young adults with depression problems, too. they can't work either. help

Answer 1

No, no, no! Life is too short!

You are saying that you are a "failure" if that's the way you're thinking. You can't think like that! You are not a failure if you have a great job teaching children and a fabulous job raising children, because then you have to be a wonderful person.

I wish to God I had a life like you, because I can't have children. I have an excellent marriage, but when I heard from a doctor that I couldn't have our own child, I became extremely depressed and I gave up. Well, giving up ruined a major part in my life, because if I stayed strong I would have taken the next step forward and right now I would have a child. I was a failure and it did leave a scar.

Don't do it! You have the world by the balls. You could make the most wonderful life for you and your children. Just look in the mirror and begin to think with alot of self respect, pride, dignity and value. You can become really strong and in control of your life. Remember the saying "You get out of this world, what you put into it".

Well you're putting alot! Don't stop now. It will all come back to you and the best is yet to come. Enjoy life, especially with your children! You will be too happy someday and it will all make sense. Good Luck and God Bless

Answer 2

Everyone feels overwhelmed at times. Starting a new job and owing money will definitely do that. Also having so many people depend on you must be hard. I suggest you seek counseling to help you deal with things. Try to see going to work as a chance to escape the issues and home and visa versa. I also want to tell you that you are not responsible for other people's happiness...that is their job to find their own peace. I wish you all the best because i have been where you are and i promise it will get better.....I also want to add that sometimes i take a few days away from my family. I call it my non-negotiation, non-accomodation time...even if its just for a day...you deserve it

Answer 3

Definately sounds like you could use the help of a counselor. Seek help, crying all the time isn't healthy, there is something else wrong, the pressure seems to be getting you, and not letting you enjoy ANYthing. The feeling of wanting to die is a definate sign that you should try and seek help for what is overwhelming you.

Positive talk isn't going to help because all you want to hear is the negative because all you FEEL is negative, you need to remember how to look at the world with a positve outlook and sometimes we can't do that on our own. Good luck!

Answer 4

yep, counseling. Then figure out what else u want 2 do besides teach. U can always transition 2 a different job if u do some creastive thinking. But u can't be 2 creative when your world is gray. Maybe u might need meds to turn the curve. But giving up is a non-solution. Do you want that 4 your kids? For them 2 give up too?

Answer 5

You can work. I suffer from depressions as well. On those days when it gets really bad, yes, call in sick because there's nothing else you can do, but the rest of the time when you can get out of bed?? Fake it! Use all your energy to fake this happy cheery teachery face. (I teach) When you get home, don't worry about doing anything. Eat, sleep and muster up the energy for the next day.

When your sick your depression can get worse, but you won't know it because depression makes you forget you were ever happy! Try your best not to forget this.

Depression is very treatable and for many curable, but alas, if yours is treatment resistant or so severe you need to be hospitalized, try getting on disability temporarily. Good luck!

Answer 6

You need to see a therapist.A Good one that you are comfortable with. What you are doing is disassociating yourself. (i am not making that up) I had the same problem. I think your problem is something else besides the work. I bet you have problems at home and aren't admitting how bad they are and how they are affecting you. Find another job for now. Children are affected by adults moods and no one needs you to negatively impact their child. Talk to one of your parents. Trust me. They will be more understanding than you think. You need a huge change in your life. You need to be honest with yourself. What's really bothering you?

Answer 7

are you feeling stressed from your job or something else? years ago i was really depressed because of the stuff i was going through and i wanted to die. what stopped me from doing something stupid was my two kids. my kids are very precious to me. if it wasnt for them i dont know what i would have done. now they are teenagers and i have two more kids that are precious too and a boyfriend that is good to me and the kids. so take a minute and look at your children and think about what it would do to them if they lost you. counselors are a big help too.

Answer 8

I know you feel lost and alone, but you have to give it to Jesus!
I promise you that He will help you...
If He brought you to this He will bring you through it!!!
Just trust and believe...
Get some counseling if you think you really need to...
You need to talk to some one about this in person..
Please do this!!!! I have to have counseling myself at times...

Answer 9

u need to be on a anti depressant. just remember things always get better. i feel that way sometimes too and u just have to drag your self through it. i love my anti depressant!
lol..hang in there and say some prayers

Answer 10

wow..it seems like you need to go to some kind of therapist to really sort out your problems and try not to make any stupid irrational decisions before getting some proper help!