Why does one shed without a thought what the other tries to regain?

Question

Socially acceptable behaviours in our society are complex and often based on age and race. What is acceptable for a 14 year old is not acceptable for an 18 year old, this is in spite of the fact that there is only four years between them. Take the same difference in say a 32 and 36 year old and there is very little difference in acceptable behaviour, although the is the same four year gap.

One of these socially induced behaviours is the shedding of the 'things of youth'. A teenager is expected to forego the things of their childhood, an adult is expected to shed the things of their teenage years. For example, show me large number of adults who play with Lego without a child present (and who don't get paid for it or something like it). You will be searching long and hard to find them, and even then they will probably be reluctant to admit it.

However on the flip side, a middle aged man in a “mid-life crisis” will often spend large amounts to try to recapture the things of youth. Although these ‘toys’ (i.e. fast cars, younger women, expensive electronic equipment) are social acceptable for an adult there are still things that hark back to childhood. A shed full of tools is reminiscent of a Meccano or Lego set, Building or buying houses is reminiscent of board games played with the family like monopoly and games play in sand pits and junk yards. In effect, the “mid-life crisis” is attempting to regain the good parts of childhood while keeping the good parts of adulthood, have your cake and eat it too sort of thing.

So, why is it that we force children to give up the things of youth, why do we force by disapproving looks and off-handed comments children as they grow into adults to give up those things that a few will try desperately to get back? Why do we not instead allow for people to assimilate these things, playing with LEGO or Meccano, Playing imaginary games in the sand pit or junk yard, Having the carefree friendships of childhood into adult life?

Why do we force people to mature into a version of ourselves?

Please explain your answer with respect to our society’s influences on people.

Thanks.

Answer 1

Good question.

I think the society is highly concerned that its adult members carry responsibilities and perform functions in the society so that the social order, especially the economic system, runs smoothly. Society is willing to indulge with children playing imaginary games and roles and teenagers still exploring the relationships world around them with gay abandon... however, come youth it can not afford to let the members live in some imaginary world and it indeed forces them to enter the real world of social significance squarely and surely..... the two most important aspects of this real world of social significance are marriage and an economically rewarding activity/job/profession. To serve the interests of the society is what is called responsibility....... those who deny this are irresponsible people and the society makes sure they are punished suitably.

Answer 2

You're right. Society plays cruel games on us in our most vulnerable years.

I hear so many adult friends still traumatized about having to give up the "blankie" ( favorite baby blanket) when they went into their teens.

I think it is because society has set us all up into rigid bins of protocols in school and in our own homes.

Why? I do not know. They donated our toys and childish attachments to charity, clothes into the bags to give to the younger relatives who will be using them in the next few years, leaving us grieving and hunting for their replicas when we grow older.

Maybe it is societys way of telling us to move along, to accept the next stage of life graciously and charitably, to think of others, reduce recycle and reuse.

Some parents are good about asking for a childs possessions, making sure that they handle it with delicacy and with utmost respect for his feelings.
Some parents are atrocious and draconian.

I would personally give a box to my child and make my child fill it with "keepers" and I would promise to keep it for him or her until the time comes that he or she will have a house and there will be a place for them.

Answer 3

Child hood play is a way of learning to be an adult , playing with dolls, is learning to be a parent ,, lots of adult women collect dolls and a lot a adult men still play with models and train sets , I think we all hang on to a part of our youth in one way or another if you look closely .