Standing alone in the park no one around to help me. I'm separated in two. The summer life and the school life. I'm broken into many pieces laying across the floor. My summer filled with close drama. My school life filled with distant drama. I'm changing for the better, trying to hide my pieces inside me. I'm holding on tight with all my might. Crying inside saying these are the pieces of me.
2007-09-13 14:07:38 · 13 answers · asked by princess 2 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Poetry
yes I wrote this. It's my own writing.
2007-09-13 14:31:32 · update #1
WoW
That can be a song.
2007-09-13 14:11:58 · answer #1 · answered by Dolphin 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats not exactly a good poem. More of a sad poem.Almost like a cry for help. I like it. But make sure you make good poems too. Even if your life couldnt get any worse, you can make it better by feeling better by making a joyus poem!
2007-09-13 14:13:09 · answer #2 · answered by Lizzylovestodance 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's good, but it would soud better if it were more magical like a dream or a fairy tale. ad a bit more drama to it. like an itroduction to a novel. Make it sound a bit more elegant.
2007-09-13 14:14:11 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's nice, and poetry is what you make of it, but it seems kind of staightforward to be a poem. Try using more adjectives, word it more strongly. Make the reader feel your pain.
*anguish* is better, LOL.
2007-09-13 14:13:13 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow! Unbeknownst to you, i understand all with reference to the lacking black sq.. And whilst apparently, I disappear. it truly is death. nicely, welcome to the human difficulty. it truly is my reaction. I do like. Bedtime as a identify? nicely, to sleep, according to probability to dream. and that's the freaking rub, now's no longer it? The everlasting sleep is arguably no longer open to such neuron-titillating issues as a theory technique. purely through fact no one knows what number angels can dance on the top of a pin does no longer mean there's a gaggle of winged thingies doing the leap up on your new shirt collar tie down.
2016-11-10 09:24:41 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
eh i dont like the title cause of ashle simpson kinda own tht and u cant think about anything else but her lipsinging
2007-09-13 14:13:17 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i cry inside because i vomited on my keybord when i read that. and your style and your emo-ism made me slightly soil my pants. get a life
2007-09-13 14:13:35 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am seeing some of what you are saying here. This has the potential for a fine piece of poetry. Good luck. :)
Thanks for sharing.
2007-09-13 14:15:35 · answer #8 · answered by Poetry 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
unique
2007-09-13 14:10:21 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
did u write that??? its totaly real life
2007-09-13 14:13:15 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋