So, my husband and I just got married. Right now, we're in the middle of "wedded bliss", but I'm not naive - I know it won't always be this good. I was wondering if any of you could tell me: What was the toughest part for you after you got married? What things did you and your husband/wife fight about? What was the hardest to adjust to? I'm just wondering. I want to have an idea about the challenges that we'll face later on in our married life. Thanks for your help.
2007-09-13 13:46:06 · 12 answers · asked by SimplyMe 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
my advice to u, is to not rush into having children, use this time wisely to build a strong marital bond between u and your husband.. , u will end up fighting about stupid things like, leaving the cap off the toothpaste, leaving the toilet seat up, etc bad habit things, and u may fight about bigger things such as sex, finances, religion, parenting, families.. etc.. and it usually takes a few years to get things to be routine and run smoothly like clock work .. right now u both are on cloud nine, in 6 months to a year u'll get comfortable with each other and your quirks will start to irritate each other.. then u'll learn as u go what each other expects from another, and that can be a fight.. example.. u may expect him to take out the trash , but maybe he see's that as house work, and doesnt do it thinking u'll do it.. and it will be a power struggle till one of u decides to cave.. sounds stupid right? but it happens.. or maybe u have no problem doing the laundry , as long as it makes it in the laundry basket and he has an issue with just dropping his clothes on the floor.. , u'll have to get all of that ironed out....
Life is going to have its ups and downs and there will be petty arguements, and their will be full blow out fights at times, but if you both honor the vows u took, and live by them every day and not just when its convient for you both, then u'll get through the arguements and the hard times.. marriage takes work and patience, and if u both love each other, u'll be able to get through anything that comes ur way..
Congrats! and good luck...
2007-09-13 14:04:48 · answer #1 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just remember that marriage is like a roller coaster ride, with lots of ups and down, twists and turns. You have to keep everything in balance and in moderation. You should not fight you should communication and negotiate. Always remember you are on the same team and you want what is best for each other. Build each other up, lean on each other, and be best friends. Don't keep secrets and talk about everything. Never say Divorce, for that is not an option! The toughest part was putting him first and he putting me first because we married latter in life, me 33 and he was 38. We were both pretty self centered! We never really fight, we just have talks about what is bothering us. The hardest to adjust to was only having one child. We wanted to have two, but time, money, energy, won out! We have been married for 11 years! GOOD LUCK!
2007-09-13 14:02:21 · answer #2 · answered by Dance 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The biggest adjustment that my wife and I had to make, was shortly after we got married, and we never lived together befoe marriage, so we were learning about each other's behaviors, things that we didn't witness very much before we got married. And we tried to change each other. And as I'm sure EVERYONE knows, you can't change someone, they are only able to change on their own.
But we sat down and discussed it, not yelling, but we sat down and talked, and listened to each other.
When you face challenges in yur marriage, keep the lines of communication open, and I'm sure you have heard this, but DON'T go to bed angry. Talk it out. Also what has helped for my wife and I, put God at the center of your marriage, it has made a huge difference for us.
Hope that this helps. Take care and God Bless
2007-09-13 14:10:10 · answer #3 · answered by Bryan M 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
mrsclh said "never go to bed mad." We found that it's OK to go to bed mad, especially when arguing doesn't seem to be getting you anywhere. We have found that in the morning, after a nights sleep, we see the problem more clearly and ask, "Why the *** were we fighting about that?"
Communication is the key. Learn to listen to each other. And also be each others' best friends. We see people doing things to their spouses that they would never do to their friends.
2007-09-13 14:29:57 · answer #4 · answered by old beatnik 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are blessed enough to be married for many years, one of the greatest challenges is to grow together and not apart as you change over the years. Each of you will go through many changes ... remember to keep communicating and sharing your new goals and plans with one another, try to continue to romance one another to keep the love from fading, and be flexible ... best of luck to you ...
2007-09-13 13:55:10 · answer #5 · answered by Wildflower 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess the hardest thing for me to accept...and I never really did...was having to "account for" money I got out of the ATM out of our joint checking account or where I'd been if I was more than 20 minutes late getting home from work (I worked a 2nd shift job).
I never could understand why HE could withdraw money from our JOINT account without even bothering to tell me, but when I needed money for gas for the car, it was ALWAYS "what do YOU need money for?". And HE could go out after work to a bar and relax a few hours with his friends and not call home (while dinner sat and waited...and the kids and I sat and waited), but I was out of line if I was more than 20 minutes late coming home from work?
2007-09-13 14:06:54 · answer #6 · answered by bitadkins 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The biggest problem we had was learning to communicate.
Some people think that means talking to each other.....it really means also listening when the other person is talking.
One thing you should try to do is be nice to each other....treat each other kindly, with respect.
Sometimes married people take each other for granted and forget this is the person you love.
2007-09-13 13:59:33 · answer #7 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you wasting all that energy on "what might be" or "what may happen". Live for the now and worry about the other when it happens and that's IF it happens. Not all couples are the same and everyone will experience different problems.
2007-09-13 14:20:11 · answer #8 · answered by Live_For_Today 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go to bed with a kiss at night, and wake up asking yourself "What can I do today, to make his life better" he should ask himself that same questions. Trust each other, believe each other and never do anything to hurt your marriage. Life will come at you, but if you stand as one, and have a faith in God, nothing can tear you apart.
2007-09-13 13:58:46 · answer #9 · answered by Annie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK...the hardest thing is really learning and discovering who they really are. every single little quirk they have in their everyday routine now becomes something you see day in and day out. you find out what really "BUGS" the sh@t out of you if you know what i mean. but in the end you learn to adapt and love them including their flaws.
but just remember, they are doing the same where your concerned
blessings and luck to you and your future
2007-09-13 13:56:00 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋