This is an ongoing saga, if you want to know the full history look @ my previous posts. Can someone please tell me why a guy would do this. I have been going out to see this band for the last year, I have only seen them 5 times. Anyway, one of the band members & I started flirting hardcore. He has come over a couple of times to chat, we have bought each other drinks, but the last time out, he came over @ the end of the night & reached out for a hug. I am ready to ask him out, but I had one of my friends who is a cop, check to see if he is married. And what do you think I found out, Yup married for about 1 year. His band mates have been encouraging us, by making little comments & other things. Why oh why would he not tell me this. I would hope that he's gotten the feeling that I am going to ask him out, what in the hell would he say? The next time I go see the band, what do I do? Do I act the same, do I call him on it, or do I ask him out just to see what he does.
2007-09-13 13:22:58 · 11 answers · asked by sparkels74 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
By the way, I have no intention of having an affair, so its not about that. I just feel like I have been played and want to no what possible motivation he had and how I should handle the situation.
2007-09-13 13:24:27 · update #1
i hate to say this but it's all to common for this to happen. what do you suppose this guy does when he's playing at other venues? probably the same thing he did with you. if you really want to see the band, then do so but don't go just to see what happens with this guy. if he does approach you, tell the truth. that you know he's married and you're not into that stuff.
2007-09-13 13:35:29 · answer #1 · answered by racer 51 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's in band, hoping to make it big (they all want fame and fortune) and you are a loyal fan and at least part of his dream is coming true. Everyone knows that the rockers all have groupies and most men want that.-and he and his band have that with you. Men LOVE women who are interested in them. Men want for women to flirt with them, it really strokes their egos---and in his case, reinforces his "rocker" persona.
Since this guy has been married for just one year, he may not be interested in anything except harmless flirting. Or, he may really be trying to live out the rocker persona and want to have some meaningless sex. I would bet that if you asked him out, he'd go. I say that because you describe the flirting as hard core.
If I were you, I would ask him if he's married or seeing someone. If he says no, I'd tell him that someone who is reliable says he is and just see what he says. I'd go and continue to have a good time, though.
2007-09-13 21:23:28 · answer #2 · answered by Susan D 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, if he was interested in you like that kind of way and If he was a good Honest person then, He would of told you right up front that He is Married !! Sense he didn't tell you, then I wouldn't play games with him just to see if he would now !!!! I would let it go and not get involed any further with him !! His friends didn't even care !! They were helping him out to get an affair going !! They wasn't going to tell you !! They couldn't tell on there buddy now !! Its all about Cheating !! Men like that Cover for each other, don't you know that ?? He thinks your stupid but your Not !! So don't fall for his little game and show him your not Stupid and your not an easy cheap girl !! let him know when he trys to hit on you or when he ask you out !! Keep it to yourself til he ask you out then set Him straight!! Let him know what kind of girl you really are and you wouldn't go for HIs KInd A Cheater !!! You should tell him off !!!
2007-09-13 20:38:09 · answer #3 · answered by monkeymomma46 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you were to carry on with this and I'm sure we both know where this will end up. Think about how are you, not anyone else are going to feel about your self in the morning. You may feel good if does feel good to get another woman's man. You may feel sorry for yourself or his wife and you might just feel mad at him and all men. think that he is getting too carried away in his rock and roll life Style. if you want to be his friend the do not allow this to advance any further , and if he blows you off then you know what his intentions were.
2007-09-13 20:47:40 · answer #4 · answered by Summer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From a male point of view, his motivation is ultimately sex. He thinks being in a band means that he should take advantage of anyone who makes themselves available.
Evidently commitments don't mean a lot to him.
Place yourself out of temptation and skip the band and find another one.
2007-09-13 20:48:47 · answer #5 · answered by Bobcat 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Band members who travel alot and are away from their spouses for long periods of time are famous for having affairs on the road.
2007-09-13 20:35:10 · answer #6 · answered by janetrmi 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Its the nature of the beast. Musicians see different people every night of the week....when they do see people they recognize, they are friendly to them...it keeps them coming back...and bringing their friends. Flirting is part of the of the performance. And from experience, the cheating.
2007-09-13 21:05:27 · answer #7 · answered by Lisa W 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask him why his wife doesn't come and watch them play. You'll know instantly by his reaction. If you're not feeling the love then, he's just been busted by yours truly.
2007-09-13 20:36:35 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I would tell the guy that you just wanna be friends. No one wants to be a homewrecker.
2007-09-13 20:36:01 · answer #9 · answered by Navy Wife 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Welll... some guys are just stupid is all i can say not all just the handful of idiots
2007-09-13 20:28:26 · answer #10 · answered by life as we know it 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋